Waiting

I don't know about you, but life is pretty mundane at the moment.  I've been living in a state of uncertainty, job, relationship, for a year now, so I'm thinking that finally, after this long, my brain has adapted and this is now the norm.

I had a job interview almost two weeks ago and I'm in a very zen state at present because while colleagues also interviewed are harassing me with "when will we know?" and "why haven't we heard?"  I am very calm.  So I told you about the lady who sits next to me in work, who turned to me as I was leaving the day before my interview and said; "whatever the outcome of this interview, it's meant to be."  I thought she was going to tell me a joke, but no, she bestowed wisdom and thought.  And think about it, I did.  I took her words with me to that interview and she was right.  Maybe that's why I'm so calm about the outcome.

So much is out of our control, I did prepare for the interview but it was wasted, the way I was fired questions meant me answering off the top of my head as if I was deflecting bullets from three Power Rangers.  For what that's worth, I truly believe that if I am meant to get the job, then I will.  I'll find out this week.

So, I'm changing the subject.  I'm longing to travel and I do count my plane journeys an hour away as travel but I long to spread my wings a little further.  I recently watched the brilliant Jane Campion's "Top of the Lake."  It's uncomfortable and intriguing to watch but it's set against the backdrop of NZ's South Island and it made me want to visit.  So on my next trip over to see you, I'm going to try to fit in a bit of the South Island too.

I've just watched Gino D'Campo's latest edition of his current TV show.  Gino is an Italian who we, us Brits, seem to have adopted, and really, it was a no brainer, he is talented, charming and adorable.  Can't remember if you witnessed the beginning of his first footing of being a TV chef over here but trust me, he's great to watch and inspirational in the kitchen.  I think I tend to gravitate towards the Mediterranean Diet anyway and so, Gino is a perfect tour guide on that particular journey. Today's edition included how to make frittata, Italian style.  I adore frittata but I've only ever encountered it in a Spanish version and thought it had to include potatoes, Gino's versions does not include potatoes so I am going to give it a whirl, seems like much healthier, less starchy version, I can't wait to give it a try.

Some time has passed and three attempts at the frittata later, and I think I've mastered it, by Thursday, it was perfection, it's like healthy, fast food.

The Interview

It's been quite a week.  Monday, I had to do the day job and get a job application form in. Tuesday I was doing the day job and prepping for an interview for a job I applied for a couple of weeks ago.  Wednesday, I had an interview.  B offered to drive me to the city, wait for me, then drive me home after the interview.  Still, I mostly know my limits and I knew that I wouldn't have the patience for company and or, someone else's driving, and so I drove myself.

I parked myself in a Starbucks across the road, prior to the interview and it was hustle and bustle personified at that time in the morning.  After just five minutes, I spotted an ex team mate from a year ago.  Her hair is much longer than when I last saw her but it was her and I stare until I catch her gaze.  My friend approaches and takes a pew.  She happily fills me in with updates of my old team, problems, prospects and general chat, which was just what I needed because it distracted me so much, I didn't have time to work myself up into a frenzy of nervousness.

With twenty minutes to go, I left Starbucks and crossed the road into the building I'll be interviewed in.  I made my way up the escalators to the coffee shop and parked myself in an unused booth of the cafe.  Five minutes after that, I make my way to reception to announce my arrival.

I think the interview went well but we shall see, it was a bit of a trial and some of my colleagues who also interviewed agreed that it was quite a challenging interview.  There are two positions and twelve candidates.  Before I left work on Tuesday, my colleague who sits at an adjacent desk, pointedly said to me,"however tomorrow turns out, it's meant to be."  It was just what I needed.  It really is in the hands of the Gods and I wait with bated breath.

The Wedding Singer

The Wedding Singer, the Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore film was on again this week.  I always loved this film but it was only watching it this time around, that I realised that most of the '80's music which accompanies the film, is British.  I'm guessing AS must have been a fan.

Following the school reunion, I'm feeling pretty nostalgic, which has probably made me like the film even more than I did.  We had some pretty good toons going on and it could have been worse... could have been a lot worse.  Durran Durran, Spandau Ballet, Culture Club, Madness, ahhhh.

The film is littered with big hair, mullets and stone washed jeans.  I remember heading for a school D.I.S.C.O. in a white ra-ra, I thought I was the bees knees.  Seem to remember giving the stone washed jeans a wide berth though, never had the thighs for those, still don't.

The Reunion, The End

I turn to the man and my face must have been a picture.  He stood there stoically and I did all of the work, let out a gasp and then flung my arms around his neck.  I was genuinely happy to see him.

"Do you know who I am?" He quizzed me.  "Of course I do!"  I had a crush on this "boy" for the majority of our time together.  He leaned in and told me this sweet story, or at least I imagine it was a sweet story, something about pens, and how it had meant a lot to him, couldn't quite hear over the noise of the music.  I explained to him that I had a huge crush on him for the duration and then went on to ask about his kids and his wife.  It was lovely.

The night continued and more of my friends from the school days arrived.  We sat outside where it was a little cooler.  One of my crowd advised that she had left the town as soon as she could.  One reminisced about her 18th birthday party.  "Remember my 18th when..."  "No".  "Yes you do.......".  "Was I there?"  I'm still not convinced that I was actually there.

After a few rounds of; "are you married?" "So, no kids?"  (But not as many rounds as expected.)  I found myself catching up with, actually, one of the school bullies.  She never bullied me and I actually remember her apologising for swearing in front of me, I do remember her explaining to the group of us that she didn't know why, but that she did have to apologise if she swore in front of me.  I escaped for some reason but I do remember vividly that she bullied my friends.

Still, this person is also +20 years older and full of life experience and life has been tough.  In this person, I find an unexpected, kindred spirit.  This person quietly asks, "are you married?"  "No, I'm not."  "Me neither, I didn't want just anyone and the right person just never came along."  Could I have explained it any better than that?

I left the night early although it wasn't far off midnight, the party was still going on but not being used to nights out and socialising, I was content with the hours that I had clocked up, and my bed was calling me.

It took me about 40 minutes to leave by the time I had said goodbye to most people and of course, those that I was good friends with at school, the goodbyes more time.

One of my goodbyes with a good friend was extra long.  It was light and hearty and lovely and then, as she hugged me goodbye, she told me that she'd never forgotten how good I was to her at school.  I instantly knew what she was talking about, but I had forgotten all about it for, how ever many years.  This was the first time in my life that I felt like there was a reason for me to be here, on earth.  If I made a difference to one person, for a moment in her life, then it was worth being here for. 

The Reunion, Part Deux

I, and the women I'd found myself with at the bar, made our way to a table.  Thankfully, the others obviously had kept in touch so the chat was free-flowing and easy and I only had to interject once in a while.

The pub was like an inferno, I know it was August but it was seriously, furiously hot with no air con and no windows that opened.  I did offer to put a chair through one of the windows but opted to get one of the women a pint glass of iced water instead so that she could cool from the inside, out.

People started to arrive and we had a huge vantage point from where we sat.  "Is he one of ours?"  I had no clue.  Adult men continued to arrive, and I didn't recognise any of them.  Women started to arrive; "Who's that?"  Even with names, I struggled.  I know my memory is bad but it's clearly worse than I thought.

A man arrives and approaches our table.  "Is he one of ours?"  Turns out, he's the DJ.  Us "ladies", have to move as this is where he wants to set up.  We move to another table and make ourselves comfortable, it's hotter down here off the balcony, the other women grab beer mats and menus and begin to fan themselves.  I resit but boy is it hot and I can feel the sweat begin to tickle my top lip and trickle down my cleavage.  My new friends continue to waft themselves and even waft me at times, we must have looked like a group meeting of the menopausily challenged.

It wasn't the menopause that challenged me but my memory, and I wasn't the only one apparently.  "I know you but can't remember your name."  I give him my name.  "Do you know me?"  There is no polite way to say, "not a clue", so instead I opt for the diplomatic, "you look familiar but I can't quite..." He fills in the blanks for me but still... not a clue.

It was the most fun I've had for ages.  Even though I really didn't know most people, those that I spoke to, we had a connection, and they seemed like nice people, there was a comfortable familiarity that is difficult to describe.  There was a lot of laughter and a little dancing.

I headed to the bar to get a large glass of iced water for me, (I'm driving,) and a drink for one of my friends who is having a night out, away from real, serious life left that she has left at home for the night.

As the waitress brings me my iced water and the drink I've ordered for a lovely lady, a man arrives and stands next to me, facing me, very close to me.