I'm sitting here, sooty, within the dying embers of another year. This one has been challenging with brief moments of happiness and chasms of despair. You have to wonder what next year will hold. Being ever optimistic, you have to hope for the best and you have to hope for happiness.
It's weird Col to think that you're already into the coming year with me trailing hours behind.
I'll be heading out just before midnight bearing the usual coal, silver, salt and bread. Coal so that I'll always have warmth, bread so that I'll never be hungry, salt for flavour in life and silver for prosperity. This magical bundle is supposed to be carried over the threshold by a dark haired man, but as I'll be spending New Year's Eve alone, I will have to be good enough. While it seems remarkably silly to most, I'd feel odd not doing this little ritual, it's all I've ever known, so for at least one more year...
Happy New Year xx
Wednesday, 31 December 2014
Tuesday, 30 December 2014
Bedknobs and Broomsticks
The first film I remember seeing was in infant school, I could have been anything from four to ten but I think I was probably five or six when I sat in the assembly hall, legs crossed, staring through the darkness at the projector screen to watch... "Bedknobs and Broomsticks".
This afternoon, I sat and watched it again. It was the underwater sequence that I remember the most and it's decades since I've sat and watched the whole thing through and I had totally forgotten that the amazing Angela Lansbury and David Tomlinson star. Admittedly, it's a little psychedelic in places, but it was the 70's, so you have to forgive. With a supporting part, is national treasure, Sir Bruce Forsyth, until very recently, the King of Strictly over here, also, the amazing Mr Roddy McDowell. It must be mind blowing to see your professional life archived in technicolour... and in black and white.
Today is the eve of New Year's Eve, I rose, had coffee in my weekend Starbucks haunt, had a brief jaunt around some of the sales, picked up some ingredients and headed home to make chicken soup and re-start the de-cluttering. I really feel that by this time next year, I may have nothing to do ;)
This afternoon, while I sorted, I've watched "Scrooged", again, for probably the fifth time this December, one of my all time favourites, gotta love Bill Murray, then "A Christmas Carol", the animated Jim Carrey version, God Bless Dickens.
I note that the nights are at last drawing out, I'll still be returning home in the dark once I'm back to work, but at least I have the promise that Spring is on it's way.
This afternoon, I sat and watched it again. It was the underwater sequence that I remember the most and it's decades since I've sat and watched the whole thing through and I had totally forgotten that the amazing Angela Lansbury and David Tomlinson star. Admittedly, it's a little psychedelic in places, but it was the 70's, so you have to forgive. With a supporting part, is national treasure, Sir Bruce Forsyth, until very recently, the King of Strictly over here, also, the amazing Mr Roddy McDowell. It must be mind blowing to see your professional life archived in technicolour... and in black and white.
Today is the eve of New Year's Eve, I rose, had coffee in my weekend Starbucks haunt, had a brief jaunt around some of the sales, picked up some ingredients and headed home to make chicken soup and re-start the de-cluttering. I really feel that by this time next year, I may have nothing to do ;)
This afternoon, while I sorted, I've watched "Scrooged", again, for probably the fifth time this December, one of my all time favourites, gotta love Bill Murray, then "A Christmas Carol", the animated Jim Carrey version, God Bless Dickens.
I note that the nights are at last drawing out, I'll still be returning home in the dark once I'm back to work, but at least I have the promise that Spring is on it's way.
Sunday, 21 December 2014
What did you achieve?
I read an article this week in Stylist magazine which got me thinking about what I had achieved this year. Trust me, I had to think long and hard but this is what I came up with, and for the record, maybe we should all do this, every year...
I mastered Excel, or as much as I needed to anyway, I went from 2% expertise to 100%, I've spoken to old friends who've said, Excel, I love Excel, what's the problem? But can you concatenate? I ask. The reply is usually.... What?
After eleven years of vowing to declutter, this year, I have achieved more than in the previous ten. I think that by next Christmas, I'll be micro organised, I'm so proud of myself. You know how disorganised I am Col, I hope that you're proud of me too.
I have exercised. I could have been more consistent but I have worked out, at least most weekends and I've tried new things, yoga, tabata, I love them both.
I have eaten healthily, 80% of the time. I get jokes and jibes at work over my daily, enormous salad based lunch, but I shrug it off, I know that I'm doing okay, more than okay actually.
I've taken control of my alcoholic beverages. As I've got older, I realised that I can no longer tolerate alcohol as much I used to. I was always striving to take the healthy high road... except for when it came to alcohol. I love wine. I enjoy a glass of wine but it got to become a habit, good day, (infrequent) bad day, (frequent) need to relax, (always) need to drown sorrows, (often) want to forget, (more often than not) Thanks to an Ailsa Frank CD, I'm sleeping soundly for the first time in years, and I'm alcohol free for 5 days out of 7. This is a major achievement for me, for the past few months, I've thought that this may be what would eventually kill me.
I spent a year in the company of someone who seems to like me, just the way I am. He makes me laugh, he makes me feel wanted, he gets upset, even angry, on my behalf. The achievement in this is that I let him in, and while I probably should have driven him away... I didn't. Whatever happens in the future, he will always have a place in my heart, a soft spot.
I survived a year in work. My job is repetitive, pressurised and totally unsung. In a department of pressure and praise, I am always overlooked, which doesn't do this Leo's ego any favours. Still, a year and a few wobbles later, I'm still there.
My darling brother in law gifted me his old android phone when he upgraded. This was a major upgrade from old texty only phone, held together with cellotape, which I adored. Over a two week period, I almost pitched the new phone out of any open window due to sheer frustration but, in the end, and after hours of pouring over an online manual, I got to grips and I can at least text, phone and take pics on the new phone now. I am such a Luddite and the phone initially only served to remind me of how alone I am as I had no one to help me figure everything out, but I got there in the end.
I uploaded details of my Grandad James Williams into a WW1 project website. We never got to meet, but I love him very much and I'm so proud of him. I can't wait for the day when we do get to meet.
The people I've held so tightly, I've learned to... hold less tightly. Not that I love them any less, it's just that I don't have the energy to hold them so tightly anymore, and maybe, I wasn't doing them any favours by holding them so tight. What will be, will be.
I'll probably be back to update this as and when I remember my achievements x
I mastered Excel, or as much as I needed to anyway, I went from 2% expertise to 100%, I've spoken to old friends who've said, Excel, I love Excel, what's the problem? But can you concatenate? I ask. The reply is usually.... What?
After eleven years of vowing to declutter, this year, I have achieved more than in the previous ten. I think that by next Christmas, I'll be micro organised, I'm so proud of myself. You know how disorganised I am Col, I hope that you're proud of me too.
I have exercised. I could have been more consistent but I have worked out, at least most weekends and I've tried new things, yoga, tabata, I love them both.
I have eaten healthily, 80% of the time. I get jokes and jibes at work over my daily, enormous salad based lunch, but I shrug it off, I know that I'm doing okay, more than okay actually.
I've taken control of my alcoholic beverages. As I've got older, I realised that I can no longer tolerate alcohol as much I used to. I was always striving to take the healthy high road... except for when it came to alcohol. I love wine. I enjoy a glass of wine but it got to become a habit, good day, (infrequent) bad day, (frequent) need to relax, (always) need to drown sorrows, (often) want to forget, (more often than not) Thanks to an Ailsa Frank CD, I'm sleeping soundly for the first time in years, and I'm alcohol free for 5 days out of 7. This is a major achievement for me, for the past few months, I've thought that this may be what would eventually kill me.
I spent a year in the company of someone who seems to like me, just the way I am. He makes me laugh, he makes me feel wanted, he gets upset, even angry, on my behalf. The achievement in this is that I let him in, and while I probably should have driven him away... I didn't. Whatever happens in the future, he will always have a place in my heart, a soft spot.
I survived a year in work. My job is repetitive, pressurised and totally unsung. In a department of pressure and praise, I am always overlooked, which doesn't do this Leo's ego any favours. Still, a year and a few wobbles later, I'm still there.
My darling brother in law gifted me his old android phone when he upgraded. This was a major upgrade from old texty only phone, held together with cellotape, which I adored. Over a two week period, I almost pitched the new phone out of any open window due to sheer frustration but, in the end, and after hours of pouring over an online manual, I got to grips and I can at least text, phone and take pics on the new phone now. I am such a Luddite and the phone initially only served to remind me of how alone I am as I had no one to help me figure everything out, but I got there in the end.
I uploaded details of my Grandad James Williams into a WW1 project website. We never got to meet, but I love him very much and I'm so proud of him. I can't wait for the day when we do get to meet.
The people I've held so tightly, I've learned to... hold less tightly. Not that I love them any less, it's just that I don't have the energy to hold them so tightly anymore, and maybe, I wasn't doing them any favours by holding them so tight. What will be, will be.
I'll probably be back to update this as and when I remember my achievements x
Thursday, 11 December 2014
Time for Tree
Yesterday, I had my annual Bridget Jones moment, it's something I both look forward to, and dread at the same time. Yes, choosing a Christmas tree, as a singleton, alone, in the rain... has to be one of the most depressing chores in the entire world.
We occasionally had a real tree when I was little, I distinctly remember the falling needles and baldness by Christmas but then, we mostly had a fake, I'm sorry... artificial tree, which I loved.
Things changed one year, just before Christmas and that first year, I couldn't bring myself to have a tree, I think I compromised because I had company and bought a one foot high tiny conifer and stuck it on top of the TV, undressed. It was green and it was Christmas tree shaped, it was the best I could do.
Since then, I have progressed and bought a real tree every year, one of the fir variety. I've chosen it myself, usually alone and in the rain, and God it's depressing. This year, I aimed to get a fake tree, but the ones that I like, are really expensive and suddenly, the cost of a real tree, isn't so bad. Also, I heard on the radio that they are a sustainable crop, so I'm not totally infringing on the planet.
Yesterday morning started out cold but dry. After my usual Starbucks, I headed to the cash machine for my tree money, and the heavens opened. The cold but blue skies turned to grey and wet. I retrieved my money and took shelter, yards from my car but the rain was coming down like rods, for seconds and then it turned into hail, tiny weeny, bouncy ping pong balls of ice.
That's about right, I'm not dressed for cold or torrential at the moment, nevertheless, I will be Christmas tree shopping on the way home.
By the time I drive to the Garden Centre, the one I go to every year to choose my tree, rain and hail has cleared and we actually have a powder blue sky.
I find somewhere to park right near the door and enter into tree world. I hate choosing. I need one to fit the space I have, for the right price, preferably without a herd of couples also choosing at the same time, I just want it to be over.
I enter into the forest and there is another lone woman wandering around, I give her a smile and a nod, she's probably going home to a husband and family but you never know, she may be doing her Bridget Jones thing too. Us gals have to stick together.
I quickly refresh my memory with the tree tags, some are blue, some are stripey, some are orange. I think they signify species and price, I suss out that I need stripey, that would give me the cheapest, (not so cheap,) and height wise, what I'm looking for and also species, I love a Nordmann fir, they smell divine and are pretty hardy, hardly any needle drop.
I pick up one tree after another by it's pointy top, but here's the thing; you can't get perspective when you're on your own. You can't hold a tree up and back away from it to get a good look, all while there is just you. Now for the embarrassing bit. You have to wander into the main area and say, 'excuse me, could I borrow someone to hold up a tree?'
The owner, for yet another year, comes out with me. I've narrowed it down to two! One is already in a planter, the other needs a hand, this is my fastest year on record.
The nice owner explains that every tree has a front and a back, due to the prevailing winds and well, just nature really. We all know how that goes don't we? I'm no stranger to the prevailing winds myself.
So he spins them both, one at a time, before me are twirling Christmas trees, it's a sight to behold. The one that was the best shape for my space was a little too... hit by the prevailing winds, so I instantly chose the other one, which is a little fat, sorry, full at the bottom. Full it may be, but I do I do love it, every inch of it was worth the angst.
We occasionally had a real tree when I was little, I distinctly remember the falling needles and baldness by Christmas but then, we mostly had a fake, I'm sorry... artificial tree, which I loved.
Things changed one year, just before Christmas and that first year, I couldn't bring myself to have a tree, I think I compromised because I had company and bought a one foot high tiny conifer and stuck it on top of the TV, undressed. It was green and it was Christmas tree shaped, it was the best I could do.
Since then, I have progressed and bought a real tree every year, one of the fir variety. I've chosen it myself, usually alone and in the rain, and God it's depressing. This year, I aimed to get a fake tree, but the ones that I like, are really expensive and suddenly, the cost of a real tree, isn't so bad. Also, I heard on the radio that they are a sustainable crop, so I'm not totally infringing on the planet.
Yesterday morning started out cold but dry. After my usual Starbucks, I headed to the cash machine for my tree money, and the heavens opened. The cold but blue skies turned to grey and wet. I retrieved my money and took shelter, yards from my car but the rain was coming down like rods, for seconds and then it turned into hail, tiny weeny, bouncy ping pong balls of ice.
That's about right, I'm not dressed for cold or torrential at the moment, nevertheless, I will be Christmas tree shopping on the way home.
By the time I drive to the Garden Centre, the one I go to every year to choose my tree, rain and hail has cleared and we actually have a powder blue sky.
I find somewhere to park right near the door and enter into tree world. I hate choosing. I need one to fit the space I have, for the right price, preferably without a herd of couples also choosing at the same time, I just want it to be over.
I enter into the forest and there is another lone woman wandering around, I give her a smile and a nod, she's probably going home to a husband and family but you never know, she may be doing her Bridget Jones thing too. Us gals have to stick together.
I quickly refresh my memory with the tree tags, some are blue, some are stripey, some are orange. I think they signify species and price, I suss out that I need stripey, that would give me the cheapest, (not so cheap,) and height wise, what I'm looking for and also species, I love a Nordmann fir, they smell divine and are pretty hardy, hardly any needle drop.
I pick up one tree after another by it's pointy top, but here's the thing; you can't get perspective when you're on your own. You can't hold a tree up and back away from it to get a good look, all while there is just you. Now for the embarrassing bit. You have to wander into the main area and say, 'excuse me, could I borrow someone to hold up a tree?'
The owner, for yet another year, comes out with me. I've narrowed it down to two! One is already in a planter, the other needs a hand, this is my fastest year on record.
The nice owner explains that every tree has a front and a back, due to the prevailing winds and well, just nature really. We all know how that goes don't we? I'm no stranger to the prevailing winds myself.
So he spins them both, one at a time, before me are twirling Christmas trees, it's a sight to behold. The one that was the best shape for my space was a little too... hit by the prevailing winds, so I instantly chose the other one, which is a little fat, sorry, full at the bottom. Full it may be, but I do I do love it, every inch of it was worth the angst.
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