Three weeks before Christmas and an Audi ran into the back of me after a Ford Focus smashed into her. The Ford was a write off and I thank God that the Audi was between me and the Ford, or me and mine would have been a write off too. I was a nervous wreck driving for a few weeks with constant over checking in my rear view mirrors, but no actual damage to me or my car.
By the time Christmas Eve arrived, I had said 'those' words, the words that makes the Grinch rub his hands with glee, those words that kill angels and neutralises star dust... I uttered; 'I can't wait for Christmas to be over.'
I know, as the words left my mouth, I heard clocks seize and magic die. You know that I didn't mean it. I was just so done with family drama and petulant behaviour, that I said something that I didn't mean.
Christmas Eve arrives and I have lots of baby cuddles with my new baby Great Niece EG, I leave CJ's (my darling nephew's) and head to my sister's who is the new Nanna, to deposit presents. Jan is showing me a video of EG managing to cover her face with her bib, all on her own. As we watch the video again and again, one of the new Grandparent cards taped to the back of the hall door falls to the ground.
'Hi Mum', Jan and I look at each other as I acknowledge that Mum is around. We are used to the occasional "appearance" and I think it's important to acknowledge it, I believe it must take great effort. When it's time to leave, I approach the door with roughly twenty-five cards taped to the back of the door. I reach to pick up the card that has fallen from the middle of the arrangement, the card looks familiar and as I open it and peek inside, it's the card that I sent to the new Grandparents, fallen, from the centre of the display, amidst all of the other cards.
Monday, 28 December 2015
Houston...
Last winter, the neighbours told me that they hoped that I didn't mind, but when they went on their roof to clear autumn leaves, check the vents etc., they also checked my roof.
Fast forward through several seasons, a prolonged hospital stay and a dodgy hip, and I am asked if I will do the honours this year due to daughter being afraid of heights. No problem, I reply, I'm not afraid of heights, one good deed etc.
This weekend, the time had come, I pulled on my scruff and climbed the ladder, one of those that gets narrower near the top. I climbed up no problem, reached the roof and did my stuff, clearing out drains, sweeping up leaves and shovelling dirt into a big bucket.
Twenty minutes later and I was done. Houston, we have a problem. Have you seen people on television who are 'frozen' on a roof? I confess that I had a moment. I had a total freak out in my head and I can totally understand how someone can lose the ability to put one foot in front of the other. I was staring at the ladder, standing on the roof and I literally did not know how to... 'dismount'.
Logistically, it seemed pretty impossible, how the heck was I going to get off the roof and onto the ladder? I had a couple of minutes montage in my head of pure panic. I envisioned other neighbours being summoned, the fire brigade, the local newspaper. It was fear of embarrassment which overpowered fear of getting on to the ladder in the end.
I gently knelt on the edge of the roof with the drop behind me, feet hanging off, dangling in the wind, then, I gingerly felt for the narrow ladder to my left. My arms and legs shook, but I made it down the ladder without incident.
Same time next year? I asked as I dismounted, trying to wipe away any tinge of fear. I really could have done with a panel of judges holding up 10's at this point.
A few hours later and neighbour arrived with a bunch of flowers, lovely thought, totally unnecessary. And you know what? The next time I'm petrified on a roof, I know that I can put one foot in front of the other and make it safely to earth.
Fast forward through several seasons, a prolonged hospital stay and a dodgy hip, and I am asked if I will do the honours this year due to daughter being afraid of heights. No problem, I reply, I'm not afraid of heights, one good deed etc.
This weekend, the time had come, I pulled on my scruff and climbed the ladder, one of those that gets narrower near the top. I climbed up no problem, reached the roof and did my stuff, clearing out drains, sweeping up leaves and shovelling dirt into a big bucket.
Twenty minutes later and I was done. Houston, we have a problem. Have you seen people on television who are 'frozen' on a roof? I confess that I had a moment. I had a total freak out in my head and I can totally understand how someone can lose the ability to put one foot in front of the other. I was staring at the ladder, standing on the roof and I literally did not know how to... 'dismount'.
Logistically, it seemed pretty impossible, how the heck was I going to get off the roof and onto the ladder? I had a couple of minutes montage in my head of pure panic. I envisioned other neighbours being summoned, the fire brigade, the local newspaper. It was fear of embarrassment which overpowered fear of getting on to the ladder in the end.
I gently knelt on the edge of the roof with the drop behind me, feet hanging off, dangling in the wind, then, I gingerly felt for the narrow ladder to my left. My arms and legs shook, but I made it down the ladder without incident.
Same time next year? I asked as I dismounted, trying to wipe away any tinge of fear. I really could have done with a panel of judges holding up 10's at this point.
A few hours later and neighbour arrived with a bunch of flowers, lovely thought, totally unnecessary. And you know what? The next time I'm petrified on a roof, I know that I can put one foot in front of the other and make it safely to earth.
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