I know what you're thinking, you're thinking where the hell is she? Well, I've been here all along but truth be told, I feel bombarded, overloaded and worried... about everything. And, as a result, I'm unable to string a sentence together or any coherent thought.
I'm going to give you a brief rundown of recent events; so I had cancer in the family, you here then cousins here, friend awaiting diagnosis and any combination of the four, at any one time. Work was... beyond boring my pants off and God how I hate to be bored, I'd rather squeeze in twelve hours work into a nine hour day than sit for seven hours, bored out of my skull.
I'm in organising and de-cluttering overdrive and this place is transformed. I always had in my head that I wanted to de-clutter as if I was getting ready to move. Not that I want to move at the moment nor do I think, given the state of, well, everything, that I would ever be able to move in my lifetime. I've had several lifetimes worth of memories to sort through, plus my own crap. I inherited my Mum's stuff, she was the youngest and last surviving sister of five sisters, plus parents. Everything was under my roof and it's been hard letting go of items but I've done it.
I've been getting up earlier because somehow, that extra five minutes seems to save me ten, so my alarm now wakes me at 4.35am. I know it's not normal, but that's where we're at currently.
I'm not watching much TV but I really love "Sensitive Skin". Huge fan of Kim Cattrall, well, how could I not be? SATC is one of my all time favourite shows, KC is a Liverpudlian and because of her, via my sister who booked the tickets, I had a night at the theatre to absorb my first Shakespeare, in which she was amazing. I love "Sensitive Skin", it's like watching a play, it's not laugh out loud funny but it is very amusing and it's very true. All of the performances are brilliant. As far as I know, it's pretty low key, pretty unsung, but it really is a masterpiece.
"Long Lost Family" with Davina and Nicky is always amazing and I cry buckets every time. That's the show were, as a last resort, adults ask the show to track down a long lost relative, be it Mother, Father or sibling. It always makes me wonder where do I come from? You know that both of my parents are long gone now, I wasn't adopted but I do have missing pieces, as I suspect do most families. It's not a worry, just makes me think.
My flimsy relationship has been through the ringer. I think it's hanging on by a thread. Everything is fine, but something happened recently which made me realise that it could crumble in a second. Something was said, I took it the only way I could, must have appeared stunned/cool for 24 hours and then I received a phone call, to talk things out, clear things up. I would never have called but that's one of the big differences between us. I would have retreated to the dark solitude of my cave to analyse and fall into the depths of sadness, he just picks up the phone and asks a question.
Work is now getting 'better', I'm busier, trying to grasp new skills, trying to learn a new process at the same time as maintaining all of the old stuff and the projects that I manage only three or four times a year. All seems to be happening at once.
Sick this week, really sick, in work. Not sure what caused it, heat, 35 degrees can you believe? Not sleeping? Something I ate? Stress of blood pressure tablets cock up? Blood pressure tablets that cause sensitivity to heat? Who knows?
