I came home this Friday evening and began to strip in front of... the washing machine in order to complete my 'work wear' load and set off the washer on it's merry way, as is my usual Friday evening routine. First off was my top and as I pulled it up and over my head, I saw a black soft blodge between my cleavage. I thought...'what the hell is that?' In the midst of panic and a state of horror. While all of this is going on, I'm telling myself; 'it's black fluff, it's black fluff.'
With top in my hands, I brushed at my cleavage and the blodge fell to the kitchen floor. I stared at the blackness hoping and wishing for fluff, but then it's wings unfurled, flapped and then retreated. Horrified at first, I then caught a glimpse of colour. Is that a? Oh thank God, it's only a Ladybird and I can cope with the thought of a Ladybird nestling between my cleavage...just.
I know that technically, it's probably an insect but come on... it's a Ladybird. It flapped a couple of times on the kitchen floor as I spoke soothing words to it and scooped it up in a tissue before relocating it to the patio.
I'm guessing it was suffering from heat exhaustion, not so much from being between my cleavage, but from being under my blouse and under my winter Northface super insulated coat, even though it's still not that cold really. Plus it had to endure an hour's car journey and a brief trip around the Supermarket. Plus, plus, when did it land there? Lunchtime or on the way to the car? I suspect lunchtime when I wasn't wearing my scarf along with said coat.
Poor thing. I really hope it survived to make it to someone else's cleavage.
Sunday, 23 October 2016
Saturday, 15 October 2016
Happy Anniversary
It's early October and the leaves are beginning to get that tinge of gold in them that I love and I'm at the airport awaiting my return flight home after visiting my lovely 'dancing' friends.
It turns out that this is our tenth anniversary. We get on so well, (you know those friendships that you can't remember life before?) Well, luckily for the majority of us, we met a week before JR went in for her hip op and so it's time stamped on the memory of JR and she just has to remind the rest of us.
So, a decade ago, we all happened to book onto a ballroom dancing weekend in the Cotswold's. Two long married couples, one engaged couple and me. I still don't know what possessed me, (gave me the courage,) to book as a singleton and to drive further than I ever had done at the time, (this was even before Satnav,) and to roll up alone and to attempt to 'socialise' for an entire weekend. You know that I do not do 'social'. I like my friends, I love my friends, I can talk to them, I am incapable of small talk to people that I don't know.
But, fate lent a hand and we all wound up on the same round table at dinner on that first night. We all miraculously gelled and somewhere between the parquet flooring and the sequins, a new circle of friends was born.
Ten years, one wedding, one funeral, two baby boys, one baby girl, a miniature schnauzer puppy, two house moves a serious back operation and a renovation later, and we're still in touch.
For the last ten years, I've travelled down to my friends, two or three times a year. I used to drive but then, it became actually cheaper to fly, so now I fly. We even had a trip to NY.
I've learned that you're never too old to make new friends, never too old.
It turns out that this is our tenth anniversary. We get on so well, (you know those friendships that you can't remember life before?) Well, luckily for the majority of us, we met a week before JR went in for her hip op and so it's time stamped on the memory of JR and she just has to remind the rest of us.
So, a decade ago, we all happened to book onto a ballroom dancing weekend in the Cotswold's. Two long married couples, one engaged couple and me. I still don't know what possessed me, (gave me the courage,) to book as a singleton and to drive further than I ever had done at the time, (this was even before Satnav,) and to roll up alone and to attempt to 'socialise' for an entire weekend. You know that I do not do 'social'. I like my friends, I love my friends, I can talk to them, I am incapable of small talk to people that I don't know.
But, fate lent a hand and we all wound up on the same round table at dinner on that first night. We all miraculously gelled and somewhere between the parquet flooring and the sequins, a new circle of friends was born.
Ten years, one wedding, one funeral, two baby boys, one baby girl, a miniature schnauzer puppy, two house moves a serious back operation and a renovation later, and we're still in touch.
For the last ten years, I've travelled down to my friends, two or three times a year. I used to drive but then, it became actually cheaper to fly, so now I fly. We even had a trip to NY.
I've learned that you're never too old to make new friends, never too old.
Friday, 14 October 2016
Blackout
Tuesday evening and I go through my usual ritual; arrive back at home after a stressed out drive through rush hour, chop vegetables, throw said veggies into 'soup maker' along with a little oil and some chicken, throw self in shower, emerge from shower minus the day's layer of grime, put on PJ's and fleecy robe, (the one that you bought for me,) blast head dry in no particular style and throw up in one of those bungee, no snag thingies, by which time I have about 9 minutes to try to catch Jan on the phone before soup will be done and then all I need to do is add broccoli, ground flaxseed and let cool a little.
I eat soup, watch, probably a couple of hours TV and then it's almost time for bed. I was mid way through an episode of Ripper Street when I lost all power. I always have at least a couple of tea lights burning so I could easily find my way to the kitchen, (I probably could have managed in total darkness, but you know, I'm trying to build some drama.)
So, I retrieve my trusty wind up torch which I know exactly where it lives... in the kitchen, and make my way to the garage to follow the instructions which have been stuck to the wall for probably the last thirty years. 'Switch RED mains off, press re-set on new box, turn RED mains on'. After a few attempts at this, the garage light came on. I felt a tad capable/smug.
Forty-five minutes later and a bit further into Ripper Street and I'm once again, plunged into darkness, (apart from the almost dead tea lights.) I grab the wind up torch again and head out to the now blackness of 8.45pm. Next door facing out to my left is on, to my right is off, next door but one to the right is on. After several attempts, I conclude that probably it was a fluke when it came back on last time and this time, it's most definitely dead as the proverbial.
I feel miserable, unsettled but mostly cold. Even though the heat had already gone off before the power outage, this place now feels lifeless, cold, even a little hostile. It's unbelievably dark.
Because I always leave a light on through the night, I know that I won't be able to sleep in total darkness. I carefully place two new tea lights into thick glass tumblers and place them on to slate coasters, there is nothing near by to accidentally heat up. I'm holding the wind up torch in one hand, which is becoming dimmer by the second, and in the same hand, hold a box of matches. I take out a match to strike and immediately drop it into the darkness. I realise this is just how it would happen in a horror movie.
I brush off the horror movie scenario and strike another match, then take myself off to my cold bed. I lay there thinking. It's so quiet but then I can hear motorcycles racing against each other, where are they? How far away? I usually have a fan on through the night in my bedroom, partly for the air circulation and partly for the white noise it generates. There is non of that tonight. Next door's dog, who hardly ever barks, seems to bark every few minutes. I don't think she likes the dark either. I'm lightless and alarmless, I know that I won't be able to settle. Once I've processed how sound seems to travel with a lack of electricity (?) my thoughts turn to; 'what the hell am I going to do with my hair in the morning?'
Literally, what can I do? I realise this should have been the last of my worries and is probably, particularly vain but you haven't seen my head in that state. I may have frightened small children on the way to work, should they be up at that ungodly time. I resolved to take my straighteners with me to work, possibly even leave extra early. I would have to somehow, straighten the side bits and put it up in the bungee thingy.
I was still awake at 11pm, when my fan stuttered into motion. I got up, checked my security light had come on, made sure my porch light was on, and finally was able to set the house alarm. Finally, finally, I can go to sleep.
I rack up a whole five hours sleep and wake to rediscover the wonder of electricity. I rise and turn on a light, switch on the kettle, wet my hair with the electric shower, throw my pita bread into the toaster, dry my hair with my hairdryer then straighten the front with my GHD's, all of this, under sufficient light. I don't think I'd survive without electricity. How easily we take it for granted.
I eat soup, watch, probably a couple of hours TV and then it's almost time for bed. I was mid way through an episode of Ripper Street when I lost all power. I always have at least a couple of tea lights burning so I could easily find my way to the kitchen, (I probably could have managed in total darkness, but you know, I'm trying to build some drama.)
So, I retrieve my trusty wind up torch which I know exactly where it lives... in the kitchen, and make my way to the garage to follow the instructions which have been stuck to the wall for probably the last thirty years. 'Switch RED mains off, press re-set on new box, turn RED mains on'. After a few attempts at this, the garage light came on. I felt a tad capable/smug.
Forty-five minutes later and a bit further into Ripper Street and I'm once again, plunged into darkness, (apart from the almost dead tea lights.) I grab the wind up torch again and head out to the now blackness of 8.45pm. Next door facing out to my left is on, to my right is off, next door but one to the right is on. After several attempts, I conclude that probably it was a fluke when it came back on last time and this time, it's most definitely dead as the proverbial.
I feel miserable, unsettled but mostly cold. Even though the heat had already gone off before the power outage, this place now feels lifeless, cold, even a little hostile. It's unbelievably dark.
Because I always leave a light on through the night, I know that I won't be able to sleep in total darkness. I carefully place two new tea lights into thick glass tumblers and place them on to slate coasters, there is nothing near by to accidentally heat up. I'm holding the wind up torch in one hand, which is becoming dimmer by the second, and in the same hand, hold a box of matches. I take out a match to strike and immediately drop it into the darkness. I realise this is just how it would happen in a horror movie.
I brush off the horror movie scenario and strike another match, then take myself off to my cold bed. I lay there thinking. It's so quiet but then I can hear motorcycles racing against each other, where are they? How far away? I usually have a fan on through the night in my bedroom, partly for the air circulation and partly for the white noise it generates. There is non of that tonight. Next door's dog, who hardly ever barks, seems to bark every few minutes. I don't think she likes the dark either. I'm lightless and alarmless, I know that I won't be able to settle. Once I've processed how sound seems to travel with a lack of electricity (?) my thoughts turn to; 'what the hell am I going to do with my hair in the morning?'
Literally, what can I do? I realise this should have been the last of my worries and is probably, particularly vain but you haven't seen my head in that state. I may have frightened small children on the way to work, should they be up at that ungodly time. I resolved to take my straighteners with me to work, possibly even leave extra early. I would have to somehow, straighten the side bits and put it up in the bungee thingy.
I was still awake at 11pm, when my fan stuttered into motion. I got up, checked my security light had come on, made sure my porch light was on, and finally was able to set the house alarm. Finally, finally, I can go to sleep.
I rack up a whole five hours sleep and wake to rediscover the wonder of electricity. I rise and turn on a light, switch on the kettle, wet my hair with the electric shower, throw my pita bread into the toaster, dry my hair with my hairdryer then straighten the front with my GHD's, all of this, under sufficient light. I don't think I'd survive without electricity. How easily we take it for granted.
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