I know I haven't written much for ages but in these times, I'm thinking this might be something to keep me sane.
Thank God Tom and Kayla's wedding was this time last year and I was able to visit you and the family. For that, I will be forever grateful.
Fast forward to now and after a somewhat woolly message on Tuesday about maybe working from home, I got an urgent call from my one up boss to ask; have you read the message from Simon?
No, I've been talking to a colleague about next weeks auction.
You need to pack up, right now and go home
And that was it. For the foreseeable future. Solo me, is working from home and not seeing any family or friends or colleagues for maybe, if today's reports are true, up to 12 weeks but we're probably talking many, many more months actually.
Quite honestly, I'm trying not to freak out because this isn't a week or a month thing, this could be it... for a while. A while could be three months, could be twelve months but I can't think about that. I'm just going to have to take it day by day.
As you know, I can't stay in. In the recent "olden times" I would head out for a coffee with a book or three on Saturday and Sunday morning to sit in a coffee shop, chat to the staff and sit in the window, on my own and read for an hour, mainly to stop me from getting cabin fever from being at home alone. I was alone there in that coffee shop still but not alone if that makes sense. Now, the coffee shops are closed and so I have nowhere to go.
It's early days yet. My general anxiety has given me the following;
Hight blood pressure
Stress Itch (no rash but about 4 inches on the top of my right arm that I could rip off when it's itching)
Stomach ache when I eat
TMJ
Headaches
Dizziness
And so.... on my last visit to my Doctor, pre lockdown, he asked me; are we treating the symptoms or the cause?
He said that I was always; "a rabbit in headlights" and that I needed to do something about my anxiety.
I didn't know I was anxious, I thought that was just me.
Anyway, he suggested some temporary medication and a gym membership.
Maths done and home gym equipment audited, I decided rather than a gym membership, I would purchase a treadmill. I used to love jogging, I really did get that runner's high and I miss it. If I joined a gym, it would only be for the treadmill. My area is not one that I would jog alone in.
I have all the other gym equipment, barbell, kettlebell, weights, stretchy bands, so, right before this got serious, I ordered a treadmill, it arrived on Monday, was assembled on Tuesday by dear brother in law and Tuesday lunchtime, I was home to work, for the foreseeable.
The first four weeks, I tried to create a new routine and that helped me; up at the same time, exercise, work, exercise, work, healthy eating and bed at the same time. Sleep wasn't great but from the people I did speak to, no one is sleeping well at the moment.
Weeks 1 to 4 were tough. I have never felt more alone in my life, never more isolated. I could feel myself withdrawing by the day, work tech problems meant that I could see colleagues but they couldn't see me. I could say "I'm OK thanks, how are you?" When I wasn't fine at all and no one could tell. My biggest fear is history repeating itself, my Mum was the youngest of five girls as am I. She had to say goodbye to all of her sisters one by one and I know, what lies ahead for me now more than ever. I'm close to two of my sisters but one day, if natural order has anything to do with it, they will leave before me and this is what it will feel like. This was a simulation of what is to come.
Chatting to you helped and Susie set up a group chat which happened every couple of weeks, I spoke to Jan every night, Don phoned me on Easter Sunday and Sheila checked in with me every week or so. I'm so blessed with my friends. I haven't heard from my other two sisters who have family but didn't expect to.
Then, something happened. Captain Tom Moore happened. A 99 year old war veteran set out to raise £1000 for the NHS by walking, with his walking aid, 100 25m laps of his garden before he turned 100 years old in two weeks. Well, Captain Tom achieved his goal, became a national hero and a beacon of light oh, and he has so far raised close to £30,000,000 for the NHS God Bless Him. On completing his 100 laps, the tv cameras were on him and he said something like; "those of you couped up at home or alone are being very brave. We've been through bad things before. The sun will come out again and the clouds will leave."
I don't have parents or grandparents or aunts or uncles but this is a reassurance I needed to hear from a grandparent figure, or just someone older and trusted. You know that reassurance you needed from your mum or your dad when you were little? That it will be OK or when you run and fall in the gravel and split your knee open? That tenderness that says; "you're OK".
Captain Tom Moore's age, wisdom, gentle nature and the thought of what he must have gone through during World War II, instantly made me feel better. If he can endure war and survive and see that at this moment, there is hope, then it must be true.
I'd heard it before, the; "you are not alone" but it always seemed to be spoken by someone who wasn't alone. So, I'm still alone, still self isolating, but now, I have hope.
Work is tough, it's a stressful time, would be even if I was in the office with this project but it's made more difficult by the team being separated and everyone working from home. The tech isn't always up to par so that's a hurdle to get over. Physically, sitting at the dining room table for 8 hours a day is torture and I ache in every muscle. I drink endless coffee, it's decaf but still can't be good for me. On the plus side, I'm sticking to three healthy meals per day and not snacking.
I have a new weekend routine, you know I used to got to Starbucks on Saturday and Sunday morning and read. Well, Saturday now I rise early, do 3 or 4 miles on treadmill. Shop for me and Bee (who is over 70 and can't come out) drop shopping at Bee's on doorstep, go home, hit treadmill, do Sweat workouts, hit treadmill, catch up with Jan, facial, dry body brush, bathe, shower, facemask then wine.
Sunday is my rest day so; Lauren Roxburgh Unity movement medicine, (a bit like a pilates, yoga, foam rolling extravaganza) is nearly 2 hours long; jobs like ironing, cleaning. I foam roll some more, maybe cut the grass or weed the garden.
It's not over yet. The daily death toll is over 800 currently, I pray that we emerge from this with all of the people I love still here. Back soon God willing x
Sunday, 19 April 2020
Tuesday, 23 April 2019
To BBG or not to BBG
For approximately two years now, I've been contemplating even attempting Kayla Itsines' BBG, Sweat exercise app. Even the chance of a free seven day trial wasn't enough to get me to leap into the unknown. a) It looked tough, b) didn't think I could do it, c) how would I find the time and or motivation, d) If I tried and failed, would I feel worse then ever?
A seven day free trial wasn't enough to tempt me but a special offer via a magazine for 4 free weeks was. I thought, give it four weeks, see if I can find the time, motivation, see if you can actually do the exercises and see where we go from there.
So, on the programme, you need to find three days a week to shoehorn in a 28 minute workout plus a few minutes cool down, (do not, whatever you do, skip the cool down.)
You also need to find three and then four days a week to complete a brisk walk for 35 minutes. This, I can easily slot into my day as I get a lunch break on most days, if not, I can complete later in the day.
I modify quite a bit, like burpees, mountain climbers, straight leg jack knifes, but there's lots I can do; step ups, skipping, bicycles, straight leg sit ups. In my mind, this is old school exercise, but it's put together in such a way that; it stays fresh, even when it's hard, you don't give up, even if you modify, you still get results and it doesn't feel like 28 minutes. Kayla and co creator Tobi are genius.
How's it going? Well, I began with the mantra of; "not going to kill myself, just do what you can and work up." Not going to lie, first 8 days, I was stiff and sore, despite the mantra, (don't get me wrong, been much worse in previous attempts at getting fit.) After 4 weeks, I could see results and I took the leap to sign up for a year's membership. I'm honestly so impressed with the positive changes after 5 weeks now, I can't wait to see how I look and feel at the end of the twelve week programme and then after 12 months.
I'm not overweight but I was carrying a few pounds of pure fat in strategic places, unforgiving places. I had become so untoned and especially after Christmas and the indulgences that go with it such as brie and chocolate, so much chocolate, I felt like I had no muscle tone left in me. My upper body was horribly weak and my shoulder is still giving me problems after last year's road accident. I need to get stronger and by that I mean I need more muscle tone.
I have had to make changes to accommodate getting the exercise in. By the time I've exercised, showered, eaten and washed up, it's 7.30pm, which is late when you're up at 4.20am every day, but I eat light so it's OK, just don't feel like I have much of a wind down after my day in work. Still, it's worth it.
I'll be with you in a few weeks time and I'm hoping to be able to keep up my workouts while I'm in NZ. No reason why I can't as it's all on my phone, unless I slip into "holiday mode" but we'll see. Not going to beat myself up if I skip a workout. Still, hoping you'll be working out with me.
If you've been wondering; "should I?" "Could I?" Give it a go, Kayla and co creator Tobi Pearce (co-creator / groom to be,) are amazing, no muss, no fuss Aussie's with a programme that truly works.
Well that's it. Regardless of any breaks in training, I've paid for twelve months membership. Excited to see if I feel any different by January next year. I do know I feel better already and if I don't make any further progress, it's still been worth it.
A seven day free trial wasn't enough to tempt me but a special offer via a magazine for 4 free weeks was. I thought, give it four weeks, see if I can find the time, motivation, see if you can actually do the exercises and see where we go from there.
So, on the programme, you need to find three days a week to shoehorn in a 28 minute workout plus a few minutes cool down, (do not, whatever you do, skip the cool down.)
You also need to find three and then four days a week to complete a brisk walk for 35 minutes. This, I can easily slot into my day as I get a lunch break on most days, if not, I can complete later in the day.
I modify quite a bit, like burpees, mountain climbers, straight leg jack knifes, but there's lots I can do; step ups, skipping, bicycles, straight leg sit ups. In my mind, this is old school exercise, but it's put together in such a way that; it stays fresh, even when it's hard, you don't give up, even if you modify, you still get results and it doesn't feel like 28 minutes. Kayla and co creator Tobi are genius.
How's it going? Well, I began with the mantra of; "not going to kill myself, just do what you can and work up." Not going to lie, first 8 days, I was stiff and sore, despite the mantra, (don't get me wrong, been much worse in previous attempts at getting fit.) After 4 weeks, I could see results and I took the leap to sign up for a year's membership. I'm honestly so impressed with the positive changes after 5 weeks now, I can't wait to see how I look and feel at the end of the twelve week programme and then after 12 months.
I'm not overweight but I was carrying a few pounds of pure fat in strategic places, unforgiving places. I had become so untoned and especially after Christmas and the indulgences that go with it such as brie and chocolate, so much chocolate, I felt like I had no muscle tone left in me. My upper body was horribly weak and my shoulder is still giving me problems after last year's road accident. I need to get stronger and by that I mean I need more muscle tone.
I have had to make changes to accommodate getting the exercise in. By the time I've exercised, showered, eaten and washed up, it's 7.30pm, which is late when you're up at 4.20am every day, but I eat light so it's OK, just don't feel like I have much of a wind down after my day in work. Still, it's worth it.
I'll be with you in a few weeks time and I'm hoping to be able to keep up my workouts while I'm in NZ. No reason why I can't as it's all on my phone, unless I slip into "holiday mode" but we'll see. Not going to beat myself up if I skip a workout. Still, hoping you'll be working out with me.
If you've been wondering; "should I?" "Could I?" Give it a go, Kayla and co creator Tobi Pearce (co-creator / groom to be,) are amazing, no muss, no fuss Aussie's with a programme that truly works.
Well that's it. Regardless of any breaks in training, I've paid for twelve months membership. Excited to see if I feel any different by January next year. I do know I feel better already and if I don't make any further progress, it's still been worth it.
Sunday, 27 January 2019
Farewell 2018
Hello My Friend,
I'm fully aware that my writing mojo left me this past year but as we've been speaking more, I know that you understand.
To recap on a... let's say... challenging year, it's the nicest thing I can say about it; here you go....
January; new job and sister Bee in hospital with pneumonia.
February, new manager has turned into "bitch face", nastiest piece of work I've had the misfortune to encounter in twenty years. Trying desperately to remind myself that it's her, maybe her insecurity and not me, but I'm crying nightly and can't sleep. So painfully disappointed that this new job is not turning out to be what I had hoped for... a welcoming and nurturing environment.
I go to visit my friends down south and end up crying in Wagamama's as I explain the situation.
SS, One of our own is diagnosed with breast cancer, showed up on mammogram, no pain, complete surprise. Treatment plan commenced.
I change a light bulb for Bee which explodes in my hand and I have some tendon damage which goes on for months.
March; Sue, our other dear friend is still having chemo but only two to go.
SS has op and begins radiotherapy.
April Radiation and chemo therapy continues
May SS has all clear, tablets for 5 years, avoid the sun but doing great. Thank you God.
Car accident for me when someone runs into the back of me, while I am stationary, giving way at a roundabout Collar bone problem ensues.
June -- Start with physio for shoulder/collar bone etc. Doesn't hurt as much but not 100 and it clicks and crunches constantly as if bones are rubbing over each other, makes stomach churn.
July Sue's chemo is over and she's on tablets.
I develop a rash on the upper part of my right arm which initially looks like nothing at all until I scratch so much I tear the skin. Later, lumps under the skin develop. After about eight weeks, I finally see a Dr who prescribes steroid cream, rash doesn't completely go but at least I don't want to rip my arm off anymore.
Jan is hospitalised and on morphine for severe back spasms, seems to have stemmed from when lorry ran her off the road last December. It's weeks before she is back to her normal. It's like talking to a zombie while she's on meds, I'm sad and worried out of my mind. Don't think she'll ever drive again which makes me sad, she'll never just turn up on my doorstep unexpected again. Jan mobile; Hello! Me; where are you? Jan; on your drive
July, I'm waking in the middle of the night gasping for breath, feels like the worst asthma but I haven't had a bad asthma attack for many many years . While mid gasp, I start to wonder if I might pass out, and if I do, will I breath unconsciously or would that be it?
Eventually get a Dr's appointment and my doctor thinks it's something called Stridor. Uncommon but frightening when it happens.
August - another Birthday, another trip down south. Lovely to see everyone, trip included a memorable day with the kiddos running around a maze (trying not to show the kiddos that I was a little scared whilst in the maze, my first time,) They had a fabulous time running around and screaming at every dead end. What a lovely day that was.
September I attempt to arrange Christmas night out with the usual suspects. Sue wants to see how she feels nearer the time, I tell her it's OK, easy to add on nearer the time.
October I've had a cough for four weeks that just won't shift.
Sue in hospital with pneumonia.
November Mum's anniversary. Baby great niece turns three already.
Sue still in hospital.
Once Sue is home, I'm visiting weekly. Don't want to impose on the family but don't want to miss a chance to visit our friend.
December Sue very poorly.
Dr decides my cough is caused by blood pressure medication and that high blood pressure is caused by anxiety anyway.
Christmas night out, better than expected, we're all thinking of Sue and SS's Mum very ill. None of us are really in the mood. Sue is notably missed.
December 11th, Sue passes away.
Rash returns.
Overarching the whole year has been depression and PTSD, neither of which are mine, I'm just the.... listener.
Highlights of this year;
SS is well and good and here for me to spend time with.
I got to say goodbye and thank you to Sue at the funeral home.
Great niece Everly is an absolute tonic. She still can't kiss me goodbye but she will give me a hug and a kiss any other time. She talks about me to Jan when I'm not there, so even though I don't see her that often, I know that I'm in her head and her memories, thank God.
Jan and Geoff helped me fix my back garden fence and paint it, sounds ridiculous I know but I was so stressed about it and it now looks so amazing.
J and G are always there for me but this year, I've felt it more than ever, they've helped me so much this year, with the practical stuff.
A conversation in August when I was down south about theatre and wish lists resulted in tickets being booked for La Bayadere at the Royal Opera House, my first experience of the ballet. Cannot explain how much I loved that evening.
And, of course, that day with the kids running around the maze and hearing them squeal with joy.
I moved managers... five times, swear to God it's not me, So I end the year with manager number five. The team keeps getting "re-structured" and I seem to be the collateral. I was fine with the moves apart from the last one. I was looking forward to being with number 4 for a while but before I could settle, I was on to number 5. Hey, number 5 is brilliant and knows everything there is to know about our subject so I'm going to be sponge like and soak up all the information I can..... before I'm moved again.
The family seems to be fraying at the edges and I'm aware that we're all getting older and I wonder how many Christmas's we'll see without change.
By far the saddest part of this year has been saying goodbye to Sue, such a special lady and a dear friend. She was all about family but I hope that she knew how much her friends loved her too, I'm not sure she did and I regret not telling her while she was still with us. Hopefully she heard me when I went to visit her afterwards.
To say that I can not wait to welcome in this coming year is an under statement.
I understand what my GP is saying and that my bp may be anxiety driven but if you can't get a handle on it, surely it's just as bad as if I had compromised arteries? Anyway, I have a new mindfulness CD which I'm listening to on a nightly basis and I'm hoping this helps.
Feb I'm visiting everyone down south
Within 90 days, I'll be with you, in NZ at Tom's wedding. I was very lucky and for Christmas, Jan and Geoff bought me the dress I'd been eyeing up for Tom's wedding since last August. It's understated and beautiful and I feel like a million... pounds in it :D
So you have one foot in next year and I have one in this. I love you and I will be with you before you know it.
Happy New Year Chick x
I'm fully aware that my writing mojo left me this past year but as we've been speaking more, I know that you understand.
To recap on a... let's say... challenging year, it's the nicest thing I can say about it; here you go....
January; new job and sister Bee in hospital with pneumonia.
February, new manager has turned into "bitch face", nastiest piece of work I've had the misfortune to encounter in twenty years. Trying desperately to remind myself that it's her, maybe her insecurity and not me, but I'm crying nightly and can't sleep. So painfully disappointed that this new job is not turning out to be what I had hoped for... a welcoming and nurturing environment.
I go to visit my friends down south and end up crying in Wagamama's as I explain the situation.
SS, One of our own is diagnosed with breast cancer, showed up on mammogram, no pain, complete surprise. Treatment plan commenced.
I change a light bulb for Bee which explodes in my hand and I have some tendon damage which goes on for months.
March; Sue, our other dear friend is still having chemo but only two to go.
SS has op and begins radiotherapy.
April Radiation and chemo therapy continues
May SS has all clear, tablets for 5 years, avoid the sun but doing great. Thank you God.
Car accident for me when someone runs into the back of me, while I am stationary, giving way at a roundabout Collar bone problem ensues.
June -- Start with physio for shoulder/collar bone etc. Doesn't hurt as much but not 100 and it clicks and crunches constantly as if bones are rubbing over each other, makes stomach churn.
July Sue's chemo is over and she's on tablets.
I develop a rash on the upper part of my right arm which initially looks like nothing at all until I scratch so much I tear the skin. Later, lumps under the skin develop. After about eight weeks, I finally see a Dr who prescribes steroid cream, rash doesn't completely go but at least I don't want to rip my arm off anymore.
Jan is hospitalised and on morphine for severe back spasms, seems to have stemmed from when lorry ran her off the road last December. It's weeks before she is back to her normal. It's like talking to a zombie while she's on meds, I'm sad and worried out of my mind. Don't think she'll ever drive again which makes me sad, she'll never just turn up on my doorstep unexpected again. Jan mobile; Hello! Me; where are you? Jan; on your drive
July, I'm waking in the middle of the night gasping for breath, feels like the worst asthma but I haven't had a bad asthma attack for many many years . While mid gasp, I start to wonder if I might pass out, and if I do, will I breath unconsciously or would that be it?
Eventually get a Dr's appointment and my doctor thinks it's something called Stridor. Uncommon but frightening when it happens.
August - another Birthday, another trip down south. Lovely to see everyone, trip included a memorable day with the kiddos running around a maze (trying not to show the kiddos that I was a little scared whilst in the maze, my first time,) They had a fabulous time running around and screaming at every dead end. What a lovely day that was.
September I attempt to arrange Christmas night out with the usual suspects. Sue wants to see how she feels nearer the time, I tell her it's OK, easy to add on nearer the time.
October I've had a cough for four weeks that just won't shift.
Sue in hospital with pneumonia.
November Mum's anniversary. Baby great niece turns three already.
Sue still in hospital.
Once Sue is home, I'm visiting weekly. Don't want to impose on the family but don't want to miss a chance to visit our friend.
December Sue very poorly.
Dr decides my cough is caused by blood pressure medication and that high blood pressure is caused by anxiety anyway.
Christmas night out, better than expected, we're all thinking of Sue and SS's Mum very ill. None of us are really in the mood. Sue is notably missed.
December 11th, Sue passes away.
Rash returns.
Overarching the whole year has been depression and PTSD, neither of which are mine, I'm just the.... listener.
Highlights of this year;
SS is well and good and here for me to spend time with.
I got to say goodbye and thank you to Sue at the funeral home.
Great niece Everly is an absolute tonic. She still can't kiss me goodbye but she will give me a hug and a kiss any other time. She talks about me to Jan when I'm not there, so even though I don't see her that often, I know that I'm in her head and her memories, thank God.
Jan and Geoff helped me fix my back garden fence and paint it, sounds ridiculous I know but I was so stressed about it and it now looks so amazing.
J and G are always there for me but this year, I've felt it more than ever, they've helped me so much this year, with the practical stuff.
A conversation in August when I was down south about theatre and wish lists resulted in tickets being booked for La Bayadere at the Royal Opera House, my first experience of the ballet. Cannot explain how much I loved that evening.
And, of course, that day with the kids running around the maze and hearing them squeal with joy.
I moved managers... five times, swear to God it's not me, So I end the year with manager number five. The team keeps getting "re-structured" and I seem to be the collateral. I was fine with the moves apart from the last one. I was looking forward to being with number 4 for a while but before I could settle, I was on to number 5. Hey, number 5 is brilliant and knows everything there is to know about our subject so I'm going to be sponge like and soak up all the information I can..... before I'm moved again.
The family seems to be fraying at the edges and I'm aware that we're all getting older and I wonder how many Christmas's we'll see without change.
By far the saddest part of this year has been saying goodbye to Sue, such a special lady and a dear friend. She was all about family but I hope that she knew how much her friends loved her too, I'm not sure she did and I regret not telling her while she was still with us. Hopefully she heard me when I went to visit her afterwards.
To say that I can not wait to welcome in this coming year is an under statement.
I understand what my GP is saying and that my bp may be anxiety driven but if you can't get a handle on it, surely it's just as bad as if I had compromised arteries? Anyway, I have a new mindfulness CD which I'm listening to on a nightly basis and I'm hoping this helps.
Feb I'm visiting everyone down south
Within 90 days, I'll be with you, in NZ at Tom's wedding. I was very lucky and for Christmas, Jan and Geoff bought me the dress I'd been eyeing up for Tom's wedding since last August. It's understated and beautiful and I feel like a million... pounds in it :D
So you have one foot in next year and I have one in this. I love you and I will be with you before you know it.
Happy New Year Chick x
Tuesday, 28 August 2018
Fat v 5:2
Have you heard about the 5:2 or Fast Diet? It's intermittent fasting were you choose two days a week to eat only 500 calories during the day, (if you're a woman or 600 if you're a man,) and the rest of the time you eat normally, as in, three meals a day plus snacks or whatever your preference is. You should also stick to the amount of calories your body actually needs and not go overboard on the non fast days, your body just doesn't need it. There was a book out here a few years ago called "The Fast Diet" by Dr Michael Mosley and Mimi Spencer.
I bought myself and Bee a copy at the time if publication, I was interested in it from the health benefits point of view rather than the lose weight point of view, think I tried it one day and didn't bother again.
Fast (excuse the pun,) forward a few years and after my last holiday, I'd gained a few lbs with all the indulgences and meals out and I felt, well, like a stuffed sausage to be frank.
Monday to Friday I eat pretty well, in an attempt to eat the carbs, protein and fats my body needs, I did start to feel like I was force feeding myself a bit. Not in an uncomfortable way nor did I ever feel stuffed but I was ready for something to change so that I didn't feel like I was constantly shovelling food into my mouth.
So I decided to give it a go, I read the book cover to cover, all of the science made sense, there didn't seem to be any negatives to contend with by following the instructions, so I began.
I didn't take lots of measurements as the book advises, I just needed to lose a few lbs and feel like me again.
I hoped the diet would work for me. I wasn't expecting the diet to work on me quite how it did. I've always considered myself to be "skinny" fat. To the world, in clothing, I look slim, I get to see the muffin top, pouchy tum, hanging flesh from the top of my thighs when I'm exercising that no one else gets to see.
All previous diets that's I've attempted, if they work, then I see obvious changes, from the outside, maybe my face, maybe my bum usually chest.
This one is different. My face looks the same, the number on the scale is coming down, but my tum is shrinking, my saddle bags are dissolving, my inner thighs deflating.
Usually diet's target in this order for me; face, chest, anything else you don't want to lose fat from. The last to be targeted would be actually the first on my list, be it; thighs, bum or thighs, or bum ;)
You know how you always read that you can't spot reduce? I believe that this diet targets pockets of fat from the inside out rather than the outside in, or at least that's what it seems to be doing with this bod. Plus, it was actually the internal fat that I wanted to target anyway.
It may be that the only fat that I have is the visible kind, the inner thigh hang, the muffin etc. and maybe that's all this diet has to target. Either way, I'm delighted. I'm only four weeks in and I'm 10lbs down, 6lbs in the first week. Have to say that, when I began this diet, after my holiday, I was the heaviest I'd been for a long, long time, I was 9st 6lbs when my usual weight was around 8st 10lbs, 8st 10lbs being at the higher end of my norm.
To be honest, while I was noticing the changes on my outside, I was more worried about any visceral fat on the inside, rapped, snugly around my organs, comfortably sleeping like a resting snake. Truth is, I don't know if I have a lot of visceral fat as I haven't had the appropriate tests, but I was willing to wage war on it anyway and I suspect that I have.
The outcome is that I can see my visible fat dissolving, being used up and eaten away by this diet like the preferred food of a hungry animal. It gives me some comfort that if it can do that to the stubborn visible, I'm sure it can do the same to the invisible and stealthy kind, if I did in fact have any.
Fast days I have a couple of Starbucks filters with some skimmed milk and around 6pm, I have a good couple of bowls of Spring vegetable soup; celery, carrots, onion, couple of stock cubes and some extra virgin olive oil. Feels so nourishing which I know probably sounds daft but really feels like you're doing your body good, resting it then feeding it with some solid nutrition.
Breakfast (break-fast) after a fast day, is almost indescribable. My Monday to Friday breakfast is my favourite meal of the day anyway, wholemeal, seeded pita, with a whole avocado (none of this only half business,) and the tiniest slice of honey roast ham. Breakfast following a fast day is on a whole other level, maybe the anticipation? Whatever, it is last meal worthy.
I've been given the all clear from my GP to exercise regarding blood pressure, I've been give exercises and stretches from physio regarding dodgy post accident shoulder, so I really should get off my behind now and jump back into exercise to complement the new eating plan right?
I bought myself and Bee a copy at the time if publication, I was interested in it from the health benefits point of view rather than the lose weight point of view, think I tried it one day and didn't bother again.
Fast (excuse the pun,) forward a few years and after my last holiday, I'd gained a few lbs with all the indulgences and meals out and I felt, well, like a stuffed sausage to be frank.
Monday to Friday I eat pretty well, in an attempt to eat the carbs, protein and fats my body needs, I did start to feel like I was force feeding myself a bit. Not in an uncomfortable way nor did I ever feel stuffed but I was ready for something to change so that I didn't feel like I was constantly shovelling food into my mouth.
So I decided to give it a go, I read the book cover to cover, all of the science made sense, there didn't seem to be any negatives to contend with by following the instructions, so I began.
I didn't take lots of measurements as the book advises, I just needed to lose a few lbs and feel like me again.
I hoped the diet would work for me. I wasn't expecting the diet to work on me quite how it did. I've always considered myself to be "skinny" fat. To the world, in clothing, I look slim, I get to see the muffin top, pouchy tum, hanging flesh from the top of my thighs when I'm exercising that no one else gets to see.
All previous diets that's I've attempted, if they work, then I see obvious changes, from the outside, maybe my face, maybe my bum usually chest.
This one is different. My face looks the same, the number on the scale is coming down, but my tum is shrinking, my saddle bags are dissolving, my inner thighs deflating.
Usually diet's target in this order for me; face, chest, anything else you don't want to lose fat from. The last to be targeted would be actually the first on my list, be it; thighs, bum or thighs, or bum ;)
You know how you always read that you can't spot reduce? I believe that this diet targets pockets of fat from the inside out rather than the outside in, or at least that's what it seems to be doing with this bod. Plus, it was actually the internal fat that I wanted to target anyway.
It may be that the only fat that I have is the visible kind, the inner thigh hang, the muffin etc. and maybe that's all this diet has to target. Either way, I'm delighted. I'm only four weeks in and I'm 10lbs down, 6lbs in the first week. Have to say that, when I began this diet, after my holiday, I was the heaviest I'd been for a long, long time, I was 9st 6lbs when my usual weight was around 8st 10lbs, 8st 10lbs being at the higher end of my norm.
To be honest, while I was noticing the changes on my outside, I was more worried about any visceral fat on the inside, rapped, snugly around my organs, comfortably sleeping like a resting snake. Truth is, I don't know if I have a lot of visceral fat as I haven't had the appropriate tests, but I was willing to wage war on it anyway and I suspect that I have.
The outcome is that I can see my visible fat dissolving, being used up and eaten away by this diet like the preferred food of a hungry animal. It gives me some comfort that if it can do that to the stubborn visible, I'm sure it can do the same to the invisible and stealthy kind, if I did in fact have any.
Fast days I have a couple of Starbucks filters with some skimmed milk and around 6pm, I have a good couple of bowls of Spring vegetable soup; celery, carrots, onion, couple of stock cubes and some extra virgin olive oil. Feels so nourishing which I know probably sounds daft but really feels like you're doing your body good, resting it then feeding it with some solid nutrition.
Breakfast (break-fast) after a fast day, is almost indescribable. My Monday to Friday breakfast is my favourite meal of the day anyway, wholemeal, seeded pita, with a whole avocado (none of this only half business,) and the tiniest slice of honey roast ham. Breakfast following a fast day is on a whole other level, maybe the anticipation? Whatever, it is last meal worthy.
I've been given the all clear from my GP to exercise regarding blood pressure, I've been give exercises and stretches from physio regarding dodgy post accident shoulder, so I really should get off my behind now and jump back into exercise to complement the new eating plan right?
Saturday, 21 July 2018
Round Up of Events
Hi Col, I know I've been AWOL quite a bit lately and I'm sorry. Just one thing after another and no writing mojo to speak of.
Accident was five weeks ago now and while I'm still clicking, crunching and stiff, body wise, I'm more relaxed driving again and not such a nervous wreck, but still tense.
We've had glorious weather and it makes you feel amazing doesn't it? Got to be the Vitamin D effect don't you think?
Physically, I'm creaking. Stuff hurts. Mentally, feel a bit bruised but trying to do the right things.
Work hasn't been terrible and I'm off for a week now so I'm very happy with the prospect of sleep and freedom.
Fast forward nine days and I'm back to work tomorrow. I've had a brilliant and busy week; coffee catch ups, lunch with Don and Sheila, trip to the Zoo with baby great niece, (we saw baby elephant, baby monkey (which I would have gladly brought home,) baby rhino,) and countless other, grown up animals. Must be fifteen years since I've been and it was amazing, they all had tons of space and seemed very happy. Even brought back some school trip memories of eons ago.
I've had a couple of meals out, Chinese and Wagamama's with J&G. J decided lovely waiter from Chinese (think he may have been Eastern European, quietly spoken, pleasant, inquisitive, he thought he had seen me around,) was flirting with me and after two glasses of wine was keen to pursue, but I managed to deflect, pretty sure he was way too young for me, even if I was interested.
Saturday morning and I'm spending my only free time with Bee while J&G are toiling in my front garden for me when who rolls up, but our old neighbours.
A date was set and on Thursday night, I collected Jan and drove into the country to where Mrs P and A were staying for the week. It was a really special night. Neither of them have changed and it was like being back 25 years ago. The chat, the references, talk of Mum. It was lovely. It was a hot, hot night and while we didn't leave until almost 10pm, the sunset was glorious driving through the dusk on the way home.
Old friends really are golden.
We had one day playing in the garden with baby great niece because it was just too hot and at least there, we had some shade.
Pretty much the rest of the time was spent digging in the back garden, digging up old bulbs, digging up enormous tree roots, digging, digging, digging. Did you know, when you hurl a spade into a root, a root of any size, large or pencil sized, it's like hitting concrete and you get a ricochet through your hand and up your arm? I hurt in places I didn't know I had and my hands are soooo sore.
Did I tell you all of this started because my back garden fence needed support posts putting in? J&G, like the super heroes they are, said they would mend my fence so that I didn't have to get a new one, but in the process, I had to have a dead enormous tree cut down, dig out 10ft long tree roots, completely wreck my already moss and dandelion ridden lawn, sieve soil, and on and on the list would go. Jan keeps telling me it's going to look amazing and I believe her. It's been a long time since it looked like a garden and not an overgrown green mass. I can't wait to see the end result and to be able to "potter." Until now, my experience of gardening has been; "to hack."
Jan and I have been joking for years that once Geoff retired, I would have a list as long as my arm of "handy man" jobs for him to complete for me. There isn't a room that doesn't need something Col, it's quite depressing and daunting but I haven't done anything significant for years and so... here we are. I really do think it will be a beautiful and peaceful oasis when everything is complete.
Accident was five weeks ago now and while I'm still clicking, crunching and stiff, body wise, I'm more relaxed driving again and not such a nervous wreck, but still tense.
We've had glorious weather and it makes you feel amazing doesn't it? Got to be the Vitamin D effect don't you think?
Physically, I'm creaking. Stuff hurts. Mentally, feel a bit bruised but trying to do the right things.
Work hasn't been terrible and I'm off for a week now so I'm very happy with the prospect of sleep and freedom.
Fast forward nine days and I'm back to work tomorrow. I've had a brilliant and busy week; coffee catch ups, lunch with Don and Sheila, trip to the Zoo with baby great niece, (we saw baby elephant, baby monkey (which I would have gladly brought home,) baby rhino,) and countless other, grown up animals. Must be fifteen years since I've been and it was amazing, they all had tons of space and seemed very happy. Even brought back some school trip memories of eons ago.
I've had a couple of meals out, Chinese and Wagamama's with J&G. J decided lovely waiter from Chinese (think he may have been Eastern European, quietly spoken, pleasant, inquisitive, he thought he had seen me around,) was flirting with me and after two glasses of wine was keen to pursue, but I managed to deflect, pretty sure he was way too young for me, even if I was interested.
Saturday morning and I'm spending my only free time with Bee while J&G are toiling in my front garden for me when who rolls up, but our old neighbours.
A date was set and on Thursday night, I collected Jan and drove into the country to where Mrs P and A were staying for the week. It was a really special night. Neither of them have changed and it was like being back 25 years ago. The chat, the references, talk of Mum. It was lovely. It was a hot, hot night and while we didn't leave until almost 10pm, the sunset was glorious driving through the dusk on the way home.
Old friends really are golden.
We had one day playing in the garden with baby great niece because it was just too hot and at least there, we had some shade.
Pretty much the rest of the time was spent digging in the back garden, digging up old bulbs, digging up enormous tree roots, digging, digging, digging. Did you know, when you hurl a spade into a root, a root of any size, large or pencil sized, it's like hitting concrete and you get a ricochet through your hand and up your arm? I hurt in places I didn't know I had and my hands are soooo sore.
Did I tell you all of this started because my back garden fence needed support posts putting in? J&G, like the super heroes they are, said they would mend my fence so that I didn't have to get a new one, but in the process, I had to have a dead enormous tree cut down, dig out 10ft long tree roots, completely wreck my already moss and dandelion ridden lawn, sieve soil, and on and on the list would go. Jan keeps telling me it's going to look amazing and I believe her. It's been a long time since it looked like a garden and not an overgrown green mass. I can't wait to see the end result and to be able to "potter." Until now, my experience of gardening has been; "to hack."
Jan and I have been joking for years that once Geoff retired, I would have a list as long as my arm of "handy man" jobs for him to complete for me. There isn't a room that doesn't need something Col, it's quite depressing and daunting but I haven't done anything significant for years and so... here we are. I really do think it will be a beautiful and peaceful oasis when everything is complete.
Friday, 22 June 2018
Scrape
On Saturday I went for my usual coffee and read for an hour or so, headed to Bee's for a catch up for another hour then headed home. Three minutes from home, while I was giving way at a roundabout, stationary, someone ran into the back of me. Not terrible, driver had a baby in a child seat on the passenger side, maybe she was distracted. No one was hurt, some bumper damage, (about £700 on mine according to dear brother in law.) I shook for about three hours and I'm a little stiff, shoulder hurting and clicking and crunching enough to make your stomach churn.
Everything will be fine but it's the hassle isn't it? The inconvenience. I'm going to be without a car for a few days so getting to and from work will be a nightmare. Such is life.
Insurance company has been amazing, they've arranged for a hire car for me after all and they'll even pick me up to go and collect it. There is a lot going on at the moment, so much information coming in that I'm trying to remember, my mind is blown by the day.
A few days after the accident and I'm still nervous driving around in my banged up car. My car is collected by body shop for repair, hire car company pick me up to take me to collect hire car.
Paperwork completed, I wander outside with Aimee. "This is yours."
"You're kidding right?" I have a tiny little car and they give me a Vauxhall Mokka X in black. It's huge. Not even a bright colour to scream at other drivers, "get out of my way!" Nope. I'm stuck with the tank.
Have to say, after a few teething problems, (there is a button you depress for reverse and you open the petrol cap this way...) (I'm rolling eyes as we speak,) I grew to love it a little. Still couldn't reverse park in it, but I started to relax driving it and felt safe.
Eight days later and I have my little beloved car back but now I feel minute and vulnerable in it, and a nervous wreck driving it again.
I'll be fine and will get used to it again. And breathe.
Everything will be fine but it's the hassle isn't it? The inconvenience. I'm going to be without a car for a few days so getting to and from work will be a nightmare. Such is life.
Insurance company has been amazing, they've arranged for a hire car for me after all and they'll even pick me up to go and collect it. There is a lot going on at the moment, so much information coming in that I'm trying to remember, my mind is blown by the day.
A few days after the accident and I'm still nervous driving around in my banged up car. My car is collected by body shop for repair, hire car company pick me up to take me to collect hire car.
Paperwork completed, I wander outside with Aimee. "This is yours."
"You're kidding right?" I have a tiny little car and they give me a Vauxhall Mokka X in black. It's huge. Not even a bright colour to scream at other drivers, "get out of my way!" Nope. I'm stuck with the tank.
Have to say, after a few teething problems, (there is a button you depress for reverse and you open the petrol cap this way...) (I'm rolling eyes as we speak,) I grew to love it a little. Still couldn't reverse park in it, but I started to relax driving it and felt safe.
Eight days later and I have my little beloved car back but now I feel minute and vulnerable in it, and a nervous wreck driving it again.
I'll be fine and will get used to it again. And breathe.
Saturday, 12 May 2018
Life's too short...
Life is too short Col, for uncomfortable underwear. Yes, I'm going back to basics and I am done with putting up with uncomfortable undies because they're not ready to be thrown out yet (aka not worn out,) or they are allegedly sexy or for whatever reason, warm in the winter, cool in the summer etc. etc. etc. Let's face it, if your nether regions are uncomfortable then the rest of you is uncomfortable, right? It's exactly the same with painful shoes, your whole body is out of sorts when you wear uncomfortable / painful shoes. So, no more, I need cotton and I need comfort, end of. I feel liberated.
I've taken leave and have had a lovely long weekend and the weather has been glorious, it's 24 degrees today. Today being Monday and my last day off work so I thought I would make the most of the time and the weather. I went out for a coffee first thing and read some ore of my "depressing" book, (it is however starting to give me pointers on how to turn things around, i.e. flossing.)
I got home and cut the back garden grass, very hard going, first cut of the season and searing heat so took an hour. Followed this by a further two hours of gardening, I say "gardening" but it was basically hacking and chopping away at bramble. I'm ripped to shreds, felt light headed several times but in the end, filled 10 garden sacks with grass and thorns.
I followed the slasher fest with ironing then hovering, a solid day of hard work. I'm exhausted and my body is complaining, but a bit of manual labour does a body good right?
I've taken leave and have had a lovely long weekend and the weather has been glorious, it's 24 degrees today. Today being Monday and my last day off work so I thought I would make the most of the time and the weather. I went out for a coffee first thing and read some ore of my "depressing" book, (it is however starting to give me pointers on how to turn things around, i.e. flossing.)
I got home and cut the back garden grass, very hard going, first cut of the season and searing heat so took an hour. Followed this by a further two hours of gardening, I say "gardening" but it was basically hacking and chopping away at bramble. I'm ripped to shreds, felt light headed several times but in the end, filled 10 garden sacks with grass and thorns.
I followed the slasher fest with ironing then hovering, a solid day of hard work. I'm exhausted and my body is complaining, but a bit of manual labour does a body good right?
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