50%

Jack, my Dad, is somewhat of an unknown quantity to me.  I barely remember him as he's been out of my life since I was three or four and the memories I do have, I'm not entirely convinced that I haven't made them up over the years.  I'm not sure what got me thinking this week but I realised I really should know the basics, I am after all, 50% him. 
 
I gave Jack short shrift for a very long time.  As far as I was concerned, he left of his own accord and showed no interest for the subsequent years, no birthday cards, no letters.  But then someone told me that if you tell someone to leave often enough, then one day, they will.

So, this week, I've discovered a few things.  Jack was around 6ft 2in, Cancerian, brown eyes, was quiet, but funny and he had an accent similar to my brother in law's.  I saw photos of him yesterday that I'd never seen before.  Mum was a glamour puss and yes, I look like Jack. 

In the photos, he was 48 years old but didn't look it, he had thick, dark, slicked back hair and looked slim in his dark suit.  He was smiling but with mouth closed, I wonder what he looked like when he beamed.  Did he beam? 

Well, I'm quite content with those findings for now.  As I've hit brick wall after brick wall on the family history trail, I may try to get hold of Jack's army records sometime in the future.  He had a tough time apparently, could be interesting.

I only have one slightly damaged photograph of me and Jack but you know, I think I'll dig it out and find a frame for it so that I can look at it once in a while.  From what I can gather, he wasn't a bad sort that people were glad to see the back of.  Reading between the lines, I don't think he could compete with the love of Mum's life, my sister's Dad who died really young.  Things just didn't work out. 

Could he have sent the odd birthday card?  Yes.  Did he not make contact because he thought it would be pointless or did he really not care?  Was he waiting until I was older to get in touch? 

I found out not too long ago that Jack died when I was thirteen.  It's kind of sad that while I did have my moments of wondering, he was already gone.  Such is life and these are the pieces of the jigsaw that make up who we are. 

Would I change a thing?  No, everything happens for a reason.  If I had a dinner party and could invite anyone living or dead, would he make the guest list?   Absolutely.