I have reneged on summer and I am sad to admit, that I have reinstated my winter continental quilt. I know it's not cold as such, very damp, yes, but cold no. Still, I've been cold in bed more than I've been overly warm, so I shouldn't feel too guilty, and I miss the comforting weight. I've given up on summer even though it's only July.
My cousin L is on holiday but she phones anyway, she always reads me my horoscope from the Sunday paper; "Single? Ahem... (and I'm paraphrasing,) your love, looks like your favourite movie actor." Oh gee whizz he does, he looks like Ryan Gosling, damn it.
Last Sunday, on my way to Starbucks, a small, Ford Capri convention passed me on the motorway. Three looked like the Bodie and Doyle variety, (I had a huge crush on Bodie and his poster on my wall when I was very small, well, small anyway.) Speaking of small, those cars are small, can't believe they looked so swanky on TV. Anyway, three were of the Bodie and Doyle variety, the fourth looked like it was right out of the 1950's. All good to see on a Sunday morn, something a little out of the ordinary.
Staying with cars, my life kind of flashed before me on the way home on Monday afternoon. It was wet, as usual. I was giving way at a roundabout, when a car took it too fast, coming in the opposite direction, he skidded, there was a screech of breaks, he spun around and for a second, I thought he was going to carry on skidding, in reverse, across the road and into me. I contemplated reversing out of his way, just in case, but a car was right behind me, so I had to just sit there and watch. All of this seemed to be happening in slow motion. He didn't hit me, he spun right round and his back wheels hit the roundabout edge, skidded backwards a little, then stopped. I've had two real life examples so far this year of how life can; "turn on a dime." My, "near miss" was in actuality, a huge miss, but it still made me think. You just never know what's around the corner, or at the next roundabout, do you?
The week wasn't terrible in work, I've been nursing a cold which has been trying to come out all week so I've been going to bed early to read, then sleeping like a log.
I'm in work Friday, don't know how much of it is psychosomatic as I try to take Friday's off, but I feel terrible all day Friday. I'm chilled to the bone, sniffy, ears and throat still a little sore and legs feel like lead, did I mention I'm cold all the time? I finish work asap and head to the supermarket then home to safety and to hibernate.
I had an interesting visit to my GP on Tuesday. I don't like to go, I only go if I really have to, but, it's been a while and I needed three medications renewing and I had three questions, so I booked 3 weeks in advance in order to get a double appointment. (That last three was a coincidence.)
My Dr is lovely, she's a little, how shall I put this? Hippy Dippy? I mean that in a really good way, and I wouldn't swap her. I'm totally on board, if I had all the time and money in the world, I'd do yoga and Pilate's every other day of the week, I would be as supple as a snake and I would sleep like a Koala, everything would be peachy and calm and I'd turn to holistic therapy for most things. Don't get me wrong, I am a huge advocate of an holistic approach to self preservation, but if I visit my GP, it's because I need drugs.
I began by exercising my bargaining tactics. Top of my list were sleeping tablets. Not that I'm saying that these provide the answer and believe me, if I could guarantee myself a nine hour sleep, once a month, I wouldn't be touching them. I may as well be asking my GP for 100% proof vodka, she would not choose to dole that out either. I've just worked out, (with the aid of a calculator,) that since she last prescribed them, over a year ago, I've used them less than three times per month, so it's hardly excessive is it? My GP admitted I'm not using them excessively but why aren't I using the relaxation download she gave me two visits ago? The woman's voice grates on my nerves and gets me to do the opposite of relax... the woman on the download, not my GP. I need to give it another go, apparently. GP went on to get me to close my eyes. How does your big toe feel? What? (Let's see, my big toe was up with me at 4am, almost thirteen hours later and after being called in for my appointment 40 minutes late, honestly, my big toe is as exhausted as I am and just wants to go home, have something to eat and go to bed.) If you can't feel it, give it a wiggle. I wiggle my big toe. How does it feel now? I'm desperately trying to think of something positive to say, it doesn't "feel" anything. It feels... fine. Fine, was the best my brain could come up with, it's my toe, unless you're standing on it or it's being pinched by too tight shoes, it doesn't really feel anything. How about the next toe, how does it feel? If you can't feel it, wiggle it. I'm still sitting there, eyes closed, hoping against hope, that we don't have to complete this exercise for all of my toes or my double appointment will have been eaten up by toe wiggling.
I will spare you the rest of the appointment, we had a "crossing the stream over a bridge" analogy, some women leap across it in one bound, for others, it takes years to cross the bridge. I am not making this up. As you may have guessed, my "double" appointment was called time on, before I'd got to the end of my post-it note list of three and three, I was told I needed to make another appointment for the last item on my list.
I got home exhausted, had Ryvita and Diary Lea triangles for tea, phoned B, Sheila phoned me and I went to bed, shattered.
I'm not sure what's going on with me at the moment, (possibly prematurely hormonal,) but I've felt teary at the drop of almost anyones hat, all week long. In the team meeting at work, in the supermarket, watching adverts, watching "Friends", you know the one were Monica and Richard realise they can't stay together because Monica wants children and Richard's done that already and is much older and he doesn't want to be 70 and just have the kids go off to college? They break up at Dr Barry Farber's and Mindy's wedding, remember Barry the orthodontist who Rachel ditched, almost at the alter and she's his new bride's "Princess Barbie" bridesmaid? Please do not shout at me for not giving a spoiler alert, you have had eighteen years to catch up. Okay, well, sixteen years to watch this Ep. And don't even get me started on the one were Rachel finally goes into labour, just pass me a tissue.
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