Newbie

Needless to say, I hardly slept on Sunday night in preparation for the commencement of my next chapter.  Incidentally, I'm so, "next chapter'd" out, I sincerely hope that this is my last, "next chapter" for a good while.

Truthfully, everyone was lovely and welcoming and there wasn't anyone I didn't like straight away.  On the other hand, I feel like they've hired the wrong person.  I feel like I'm at least one degree short of even being allowed to converse with these lovely people, and don't even get me stared on the actual work, it's so complicated and I am SO out of my depth.

I had a bit of a chat with my new manager on day one and after a while, she told me to, "relax, you got the job!"  I must have just oozed panic from my face. 

By Wednesday, I knew that I couldn't sustain the panic.  I gave myself a good talking to and resolved to study study study.

My working week has been turned upside down.  Where I used to work until 2.30pm and have a ten minute journey home, I am now required to work until at least 4pm, but so far, I haven't finished until 4.15pm at the earliest, which means my hour long journey home lands slap bang in the middle of rush hour, which transforms my journey to around 75 minutes, at least.  By the time I get home, I'm too tired to eat and simply long to slip into a coma.  And... one day each week, I think I'm going to need to work until 6pm which means I won't be home until 7.

It's far from terrible, it's just different and will take my, (suddenly feeling old body and,) brain, a little time to adjust to the new schedule.

I'm missing a lot of people this week.  OK, I'm missing two people.  I have always been like this, it's a fault with me.  People I connect with on my journey, I wish I could take with me until the end.  That's not life though, that's not the case and I really should know by now that some special people in my life, it may only be a transient affair.

Tomorrow is Monday and this morning, I jogged, wearing my Rocky Balboa t-shirt.  I'm feeling positive people.  This was my lucky break.  This is just the start.  I need to hold my head high and act the part... until I can acutally live it.