Birthday Girl

I'm on the brink of another birthday and three days into a seventeen day break from work.  I feel old, stiff and mostly tired, really overtired, like I could sleep for all of those seventeen days tired.

Every so often, usually around a birthday or New Year, anytime I feel totally exhausted, I have a little therapy session with myself, a little Q&A.

How do we think the last 7.5 months have gone?

Work; a few highs, some extreme lows.  I had quite a few sleepless nights and sometimes dreaded going in, but I did, and as I left for my break, things were much calmer.

Health; not bad, still have a lid on my blood pressure and I've tried to keep up with exercises which prevent me from becoming too stiff in between physio session.

Finances; no better, no worse.

Emotions?  Quite frankly, been through the wringer.  Nothing like cancer to tip your world upside down.

So what's the plan?

Honestly, I'm not sure.  I do know that I need to change a few things.

I currently work out about twice a week, (at the weekend,) if I can make myself, which I usually can, but not always.  It's a little light cardio and I do some moves in the week for flexibility, if I have the energy, but, I can go all week without doing a thing.

For my body, and for my mind, I think I need to be working out 5 out of 7 rather than 2 max... if I'm lucky.  I need to incorporate more strength training.  I've started to do this already after buying 5kg dumbbells in the January sale this year.  I need to be more structured and consistent with this, also need to unearth the energy and motivation after a day at work, which is my main problem just now.

Diet?  By 'diet', I mean food.  I'm doing pretty well.  Well, in the past month, I've been reaching for the crisps and the milk chocolate more often, (my once luxury and infrequent treat,) but that's what happens when I'm running on empty.

Alcohol; You know that I love a nice glass of wine Col, but apparently, my body now cannot handle more than one, these days.  Go figure.  Wouldn't surprise me if I was tee-total by this time next year.

Sleep; Ahhhhh sleep.  During the working week, I average about seven hours per night.  Weekends and now, while I'm on leave, I wake naturally after about nine.  That's a huge deficit over a week, month, year. 

Commute.  The morning commute is fine.  I'm on the road by 5.40am, at the latest, the roads are quiet, or quiet enough for me to avoid any crazy drivers who are out that early.  The journey home is a different matter.  It takes twice as long, is nose to tail for probably one third to two thirds of the journey.  It's riddled with crazy people and juggernauts.  When you finally get to a free flowing part where you can put your foot down, someone is so close behind you that you can't see their number plate, pushing and pushing you to go faster and faster, regardless of the speed limit, it's stressful and I feel like I'm an accident waiting to happen.

Home; home feels good, calm, great actually.  The 'great de-clutter' is finally yielding dividends and I have less to go than I have already done... if you see what I mean.  The back burning project of the past ten years or so is finally coming to the end.  I would say that I'm 90% there, complete.

While I never felt like I lived in a 'busy' or disorganised environment, the new order has brought a new feeling of calm and peace.  Freedom. 

I need a million jobs doing; new boiler, bathroom needs re-tiling, new kitchen, carpet everywhere, decorate, everywhere, but it will all have to be done, one job at a time.

Hair... looking good, but still miss being able to throw it up in to a pony.  Not sure what to do over winter.

Right now?  Right now, I just really would like to sleep.