Invisible

Lots going on at the moment which I can't bring myself to talk about just yet.  It's one of those times in life that you think; life is short, you need to make the most of it.  Be happy, let toxic individuals float away from you, make sure the people you love, know that you love them, you know... the usual at times like these.

It's a Holiday weekend, with my extra Friday off tagged on at the beginning.  It was just what I needed, even if I haven't slept well the whole time.  I have made the most of it, Friday, coffee then 6 hours of gardening, yep, ached to oblivion after that, Saturday, coffee then off to spend day with my cousin, only 50 minutes away but with the Holiday traffic, 1 hour and 40 minutes away.  Got home at 10pm.  Sunday, 4 hours of gardening, a little sun burned, Monday, coffee, trip to the tip with 14 bags of garden waste, de-cluttered box room, ironed, de-cluttered some more, texted you, you're headed for Devon as we speak.

I've been in a real slump for a few weeks, the strain of a terminal illness and trying to lend support, being totally invisible at the Christening because I'm single, (photographer visits table to take 'family photos' and takes couple, another couple and family of 4, doesn't even look at me because I don't exist.)

Funeral... again, bad enough but worse alone.  But now, a few days later, I have my game face on again. I've been giving pep talks to others.  I'm feeling strong, I am de-cluttering the past like a demon.

You know what?  99% of the time, I am more than good enough as I am, alone, it's only at certain times or events that you become invisible, I just need to learn to cope better with the invisible moments.