Sadness

I'm feeling pretty sad at the moment.  Nothing in particular and yet for a thousand different reasons.  I have question after question circling in my head like an angry, loud vortex.  I'm desperately trying to see the glass half full, and I know that I'm lucky, with my health, a job and a roof over my head.  So what's going on?

Physically, I'm tired.  I work out, I eat well most of the time, I aim for enough sleep... just.  So why am I aching, tired and so low on energy?  This is all hypothetical by the way, I'm not expecting an email full of answers.

Had physio yesterday, atmosphere seemed different for some reason.  My neck was very stiff but on the plus side, my mid back, which is always like concrete, is miraculously, moderately mobile.  Maybe it's not 'normal' but much better than usual for me.  I put it down to jogging on my new rebounder and told my amazing physio all about it.  We're going to try to leave it as long as possible but I do think I'll need another session at some point.

Today's highlight was Everly cuddles.  Yep, my baby great niece just makes everything better.  Don't see that much of her but I always greet her with, 'Hi, you know me, you like me', and she is always fine and even stretches out her tiny, chubby arms for me to take hold of her, maybe it's chance, maybe it's genetic, or maybe she likes me?

It's now three days later and I feel a little better, Everly definitely took the edge off.  Nothing has changed but I have, I suppose re-acclimatised to... life.  Life as I know it anyway.  It's a life governed by the clock, by time, it's not particularly satisfying, work doesn't do that for me, but it does pay the bills.  I'm still searching for that sense of happiness, whatever that means.