Fight or Flight

World events seem to have extinguished my joie de vivre for the time being, I know what you're thinking, that my joie de vivre was always pretty well hidden ;) 

It's not that terrorists (deliberate lower case,) have made me want to change the way I live me life, everyone knows that you don't give in to terrorists, if this hatred goes on for a million years, which of course it won't for obvious reasons, they will never win.  I'm just sad that there is so much hatred in the world.

Thank you for the continuous invitations to visit you for just the price of a day's travel and a flight or two with free board, use of a car and love waiting for me at the other end.  You do of course know that I have been independent long enough to make me incapable of not paying my own way, but I love you for asking, always asking.  And you know... I just love you anyway.

So on my visit to the nurse this week, my cholesterol has rocketed since the last time it was checked three years ago.  It has gone from Olympic level 4.2, to an over zealous, heart threatening 5.8.  You know that I eat really healthily but I confess that in the last six months, maybe more, I've been stress eating my 'treat's as in crisps and chocolate.  I don't even enjoy them, but they seem to be my stress release.

Nurse went on to tell me that it could be genetic or could be age... joy.  I'm going to do everything I can for the next six months to see what happens because combine the high cholesterol with, yep... my increasingly high blood pressure, well, that's not a good combo is it?

So, my blood pressure has been on the increase for a while, well, ten years, in the past twelve months, my meds have been increased and my BP was perfect, for about five minutes, and now for the past few checks, it's been high again.

I do feel constantly in fight mode, whether that be against rush hour traffic, deadlines, injustice or just life in general, I just feel up against it all the time. 

I think I'm really overdue for some time off work, I only have three days to go in work and then I'm off for eleven and I just can't wait.

I know that high cholesterol and high BP are not a good combination, Jack, my Dad died at 61 of a heart attack which implies that he had one or the other or probably both.  What I have could be genetic, but you have to at least try don't you?

With this in mind, I need a new plan.