My horoscope today, curtesy of Sally Brompton tells me... "It may at times seem like your life has no meaning, but you know that isn't true. There is a pattern to your existence that is easier to see on some days than on others, and just because you can't see it now does not mean it isn't there. Look a little harder - it's waiting to be found."
Feel like that was written just for me. I have been struggling for a few months and feel selfish because of it. I continue to look.
It's the Men's Final at Wimbledon today and you may remember that I have a very soft spot for Mr Federer and after a few years, my Roger is back, for a historic potential eighth Wimbledon win.
I love how much the history of Wimbledon means so much to the players.
I've started running again. I say running... it's more of a slow jog but I feel like I'm spiralling into negativity, even depression and the last time I ran, I felt mentally more resilient. I have to find a way to at the least... slow the spiral of decent.
It's a couple of years since I ran but on Monday, I jogged for one song, Tuesday = two songs, Wednesday = three songs and by Friday, I was jogging for fifteen minutes. You know how in 'Men in Black', they have that neutraliser gun thingy which wipes memories? That's what running does for me. I get home, pull on my Nike's and iPod and take a step, fifteen minutes later, my brain seems to have had the day's frustrations erased. I need to stick with this.
You know how every time we WhatsApp chat you offer me a free bed? Well, brace yourself but I'm thinking about taking you up on the offer. I miss you so much and the thought of being in your presence and of walking on Raglan Beach is too inviting. Any money I have to save will always be earmarked for something, a new kitchen, decorating, new carpets, a 'new' second hand car, the garden etc. but what if I'm dead next week? What's the point? I'm looking up prices for flights, love you x
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