After a horrible few days at work, on Wednesday, I waved work goodbye for eleven days of leave. I still haven't heard about the job and I spent two days trying to give a home email address to HR so that I can at last be put out of my misery over whether or not I got the job. Just tell me for heavens sake.
Mentally, I'm not doing great. Someone told me this week to "speak up for yourself". I've never done that and I don't know how to do so calmly and rationally. I always assume that if I'm being unfairly treated, there must be a reason for it, the person thinks I can deal with it and so I should be able to, or I'm so obnoxious to be around....
Thursday I fly off to my friends down south. I've been nursing earache all week and I'm dreading the flight but we're on time, first time with this airline in ages, and I deliberately yawn through the flight to keep popping ears and I'm fine. The weather is kind all weekend, dry but bitterly cold, it's perfect, except that I'm frozen to the bone for most of it.
Apart from soaking up my lovely friends and their kids, dog and cat, I was trying to absorb what I like and what I don't like. Dear brother-in-law retires next year and for the past few years, he's been earmarked for jobs around here, around my home.
What's that called? I love it! This I fire at Mark. I'm thinking it's some kind of shutter board, that's my name for it. 'It's ship lap" "Ship lack!" "Ship lap, as in lap dance" not going to go in that direction but thank you Mark, now I know what it's called. I've also made a mental note of colours, putty, sea blue, sea green, grey, love love love them. So me.
Loved my time away, Sunday was lunch with the kiddos, me, anti-sticky freak, per ma covered in antibacterial gel freak, was during lunch, had one hand washed in apple juice after partially saving a spillage by Joshi and the other hand covered in spaghetti bolognaise from Ellie who is only two and loves to eat her spaghetti with her fingers and then holds my hand with her two, Bolognaise covered tiny hands.
You know what? For all the antibacterial gel, or tea in China... wouldn't change it for a second, sticky or not.
Flight home is smooth, I'm so tired I try to nod on the short flight, something I've never done before. Jan and Dear Brother in law pick me up from the airport, we chat the whole way home and I'm so proud of myself when I get home, everything is away and pristine in the kitchen, I must have been possessed before I left.
Most of Monday is spent with Everly Grace. My baby great niece and when I look into those blue eyes, I see her Daddy. Time goes by so quickly and if you haven't witnessed this yet, then trust me, it truly does. I won't fawn over her or try to buy her affection, I will love her from afar, hopefully she'll feel it one day.
Oh and why do I feel like there is a little brother in waiting?
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