January

Col we're now at the opposite end of January from when we last caught up.

I'm going to give you a potted history of the year so far. 
Let's start with the positives shall we?
I feel at home on my new team, at my new desk, on my new floor.
I absolutely LOVE my yoga course.  Week one, I roll up 30 minutes early, park up, not sure I've parked in an OK spot.  It's pitch dark.  I wait in car for 15 minutes then see other people begin to arrive and walk through the door.  I get out of the car and walk towards the door, as I do so, two women turn the corner and head for the door but turn around and begin staring at me.  I look behind and car isn't sticking out.  Check my legs, yes, I am wearing pants.  Maybe they're looking at something behind me.  Another couple of feet later, (I'm as blind as a bat especially in the dark,) and the two women staring at me are no longer in silhouette, they are Tracy and her Mum.  What are the odds eh?  Tracy and I hadn't even mentioned the course to each other and here we are, signed up for the duration.

Our teacher Ali, is amazing, it's all very relaxed, you just go where your body lets you.  Ali demonstrates, explains, tells you which bits of your body is being worked if you couldn't tell and may throw the odd legend in there too.  The room is beautifully lit and there are candles burning.  I think I can smell incense.

At one point, Tracy and I are next to each other on mats, flat on our backs in a, I think, happy pigeon pose and Tracy pipes up; "I bet 20 years ago you didn't imagine we'd be here did you?"  She's absolutely right and when I got home and did the maths, it's actually 25 years can you believe?

Anyway, the lesson I learnt in that first class is that I am impatient, no, actually I knew that, just didn't realise how in a rush I am.  (It's not the same, I know what I mean.)  We had to learn how to breath properly, in through the nose, chest expands, collar bones rise slightly.  At one point, we were lying on our backs, arms on the floor, slightly away from our bodies, palms up, fingers gently curling.  We had to stay there for five breaths and my thoughts went something like this;

In through the nose, chest expands, collar bones raise slightly
In through the nose, chest expands, collar bones raise slightly
In through the, I think we're on four now, yes this must be four by now
In through the, this must be the last one
This is a long time, this must be five by now
Are we done?
Thank God

Needless to say, I need to practice this.

I like my new desk, new floor, team are lovely
I've starting doing the stairs twice a day to my floor, that's 300 steps up each time, (8 floors.)
Food is getting back on track, less crisps more broccoli
Burpees!  Yes, my VERY modified burpees are still going strong, I haven't missed a single day and it's actually become a big of a habit, an automatic reflex, I put on my mascara in the morning and hit the floor in my bedroom while it dries then carry on with my eyeliner.  Getting easier and arms are looking more toned.

I think I had a bit of a virus but by the end of January, I felt less tired all the time and a bit more hopeful.

Back on the healthy food bandwagon, pretty happy about how I'm fuelling my body.

And now, the negatives;

My new manager seems to have taken an immediate dislike to me.  Do you remember that God awful manager we had at the bank?  She made my life miserable and used to throw things at me when no one else was around?  Well, this one is no where near that bad but she's a bit of a bitch.  The woman who started on the same day as me... she loves, me... not so much.  No training to speak of just an overview of the team.  She was on leave for one week of this month and the other three weeks, she just keeps asking me have I done this or done that.  She hasn't taken the time to explain what this and that are or told me that these are tasks that my new role require, I'm just supposed to know, through osmosis I believe.  And so, I am a constant disappointment.  My last day in work, four weeks into job and three weeks with new manager and my first review goes like this;

How do you think it's gone?
Me.. not very well, you keep asking me if I've done things I didn't even know I was supposed to be doing.
Manager.. well you've been with the department for a few years
Me.. Yes and I can do my old role for you with my eyes closed, I've never done this role
Manger... Well I'll need to take this to my manager.

And then... on the 30th Jan, I get home to see a message on my phone from eldest sister which reads; "call me when you can."  You know that we're not in touch regularly so this can only mean one thing, that something is wrong.

Bee is, as we speak, in an ambulance on the way to hospital with pneumonia.