It's Sunday and I'm here in my usual window seat. Filter machine is broken again, so it's a tall, skinny, capp for me today.
Last night was good, although as we went to enter the function room, we were told the night had been moved to the Restaurant because of the numbers, so I was disappointed, if we'd wanted to go to the Restaurant for a meal, that's what I would have booked. Still, we had a good time, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and it kind of warms the cockles to know that some things and some people, never change. One thing that's tickled me since Saturday night was T & A's choice of cocktails, no idea what they were, (they didn't know either,) but they both smelled and tasted like Germoline.
I'm not feeling totally fabulous today but that's mainly due to sleep deprivation rather than a hangover... honestly. I'm heading home after here to hunt out what I'll need for NYC. Weather is still mild over there. As I write, this time next week... I'll be headed for Heathrow.
Home is so Christmas un-ready, it's ridiculous. I have simply got to turn over a new and really huge leaf next year.
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
Sunday, 27 November 2011
26th November
Good Morning, it's Saturday 26th, and I've been in a minor state of panic since I woke around 5ish and I can promise you that it will escalate as the day progresses. The Dinner Dance that I've organised for the girls and a few hubby's, is tonight and I so want it to be okay, I've just got this nagging feeling that something won't be right and it's not just because I've organised it.
The dress that I'm wearing, well, I'm not sure it looks good. B is doing the head for me, heaven knows what it'll turn out like but still better than trying to do it myself. Need to get all jobs done today as not sure how delicate I'll be tomorrow. Also need to start sorting stuff for NYC, M phoned this morning, (at 8.15am... you are the only one allowed to phone me that early, either someone is dying, or you live in NZ... not dimensions of a suitcase,) to check the dimensions of my suitcase, to make sure it would fit in the boot to the airport.
I took B to a psychic night on Tuesday like the one S and I sent to a couple of weeks ago. I had a voucher after the last night, for a half price reading and so couldn't resist. I saw someone called Bernard, I overheard him at the last one, he sounded good then but he was freakishly good. Not too much about the future, in fact nothing further than Easter next year but he knew me and one other person in my life like.... well, like he could tap into our brains. Scary.
Bernard is quite a burly man. He wears unremarkable clothes, he accidentally spits on you quite a bit, and he sweats profusely. He was really quite insulting, but did it all with a smile on his face and regardless of the insults and the spit etc... I couldn't help but like him.
So here goes... here is some of what he told me about me... not fair to publish what he said about other person so I'll mail you;
My OCD is getting worse, (it is...) I need to go back and check things 10 times, (I do.) I need to go and buy a memo board for the kitchen, write things on there and wipe them off when done. Soooo much going on in my head, probably talk in sleep and dream a lot whether I remember it or not.
I need to learn to relax.
I attract people with problems.
Do I eat lunch? I need some time during the day to give my brain a rest.
Need to have at least one balanced meal a day.
I've been here before.
Judging by my hands... I've been here around 300 years.... no, wait, judging by the stress lines on my stress lines... I've been here around 400 years!
I have healing hands, (I've been told that a few times before.)
I have a soothing voice, do I sing? Erm... no.
This job is not for me, for now... keep head down and remember it's just paying the bills.
By Easter, I'll have a new job, maybe the choice of two.
No one around me tells me the truth, (I know you do... thank goodness.)
Oh and the jewel in the crown... if I can find someone to put up with me...........I should hold on to them... bite me.
As I mailed you yesterday, I am being stupendously fabulous with the healthy eating. I confess that it does take effort, and I'm not exactly aglow with health but I think it's just that time of year and tiredness.
I'm actually, currently having three meals a day, and all are good, nutritious and totally healthy, absolutely no rubbish. I've totally fallen in love with white fish, poached, then drizzled with a little olive oil to finish then covered with fresh lemon juice, absolutely scrummy, with tons of veggies, as usual.
I've scrubbed, buffed, polished and sloughed the body from head to toe, in readiness for tonight. The legs are so pale they could repel sunlight but you know what? If people don't like the look of them... they shouldn't be looking should they? I'm honestly past caring. They are both fuzz, and bruise free, so that will have to suffice.
Sally Brompton in the New York Post predicts today;
You need to take a longer-term view of your well being, especially if you are one of those Leos who tends to push themselves way past their natural limits. No matter how robust your health may be you are not indestructible.
Yeah well, I have a lot on just now ;) x
The dress that I'm wearing, well, I'm not sure it looks good. B is doing the head for me, heaven knows what it'll turn out like but still better than trying to do it myself. Need to get all jobs done today as not sure how delicate I'll be tomorrow. Also need to start sorting stuff for NYC, M phoned this morning, (at 8.15am... you are the only one allowed to phone me that early, either someone is dying, or you live in NZ... not dimensions of a suitcase,) to check the dimensions of my suitcase, to make sure it would fit in the boot to the airport.
I took B to a psychic night on Tuesday like the one S and I sent to a couple of weeks ago. I had a voucher after the last night, for a half price reading and so couldn't resist. I saw someone called Bernard, I overheard him at the last one, he sounded good then but he was freakishly good. Not too much about the future, in fact nothing further than Easter next year but he knew me and one other person in my life like.... well, like he could tap into our brains. Scary.
Bernard is quite a burly man. He wears unremarkable clothes, he accidentally spits on you quite a bit, and he sweats profusely. He was really quite insulting, but did it all with a smile on his face and regardless of the insults and the spit etc... I couldn't help but like him.
So here goes... here is some of what he told me about me... not fair to publish what he said about other person so I'll mail you;
My OCD is getting worse, (it is...) I need to go back and check things 10 times, (I do.) I need to go and buy a memo board for the kitchen, write things on there and wipe them off when done. Soooo much going on in my head, probably talk in sleep and dream a lot whether I remember it or not.
I need to learn to relax.
I attract people with problems.
Do I eat lunch? I need some time during the day to give my brain a rest.
Need to have at least one balanced meal a day.
I've been here before.
Judging by my hands... I've been here around 300 years.... no, wait, judging by the stress lines on my stress lines... I've been here around 400 years!
I have healing hands, (I've been told that a few times before.)
I have a soothing voice, do I sing? Erm... no.
This job is not for me, for now... keep head down and remember it's just paying the bills.
By Easter, I'll have a new job, maybe the choice of two.
No one around me tells me the truth, (I know you do... thank goodness.)
Oh and the jewel in the crown... if I can find someone to put up with me...........I should hold on to them... bite me.
As I mailed you yesterday, I am being stupendously fabulous with the healthy eating. I confess that it does take effort, and I'm not exactly aglow with health but I think it's just that time of year and tiredness.
I'm actually, currently having three meals a day, and all are good, nutritious and totally healthy, absolutely no rubbish. I've totally fallen in love with white fish, poached, then drizzled with a little olive oil to finish then covered with fresh lemon juice, absolutely scrummy, with tons of veggies, as usual.
I've scrubbed, buffed, polished and sloughed the body from head to toe, in readiness for tonight. The legs are so pale they could repel sunlight but you know what? If people don't like the look of them... they shouldn't be looking should they? I'm honestly past caring. They are both fuzz, and bruise free, so that will have to suffice.
Sally Brompton in the New York Post predicts today;
You need to take a longer-term view of your well being, especially if you are one of those Leos who tends to push themselves way past their natural limits. No matter how robust your health may be you are not indestructible.
Yeah well, I have a lot on just now ;) x
Sunday, 20 November 2011
20th November
So, next Saturday, I'm out with the girls... and a couple of husbands, at our Christmas dinner dance. I'm nervous about it, as I've arranged, planned and paid, so I'll be terrified until we're seated at the table and there is a chair and a meal for everyone. Anyway, I feel fine, but in the coming week, I'm going to be super healthy and do some strategic exercises to make sure I feel and look my best. I'm going to blitz the arms and do lunges every day, plus anything else I have the energy for... which probably won't be much.
This time last year, I was running every night and loving it. I just don't seem to have the energy for that this year. I barely have the energy to make myself something to eat when I get in at night. I am super organised though for the week to come. It'll be pouring yogurt, All Bran, banana and milk for breakfast, (I still struggle to eat so early but I somehow manage to.) Nuts and fruit during the the day and steamed white fish and veggies for dinner. Plus 2 litres of water at least, every day. You know I can eat the same things for days and it doesn't bother me. I'll be positively glowing by Saturday... hopefully.
Saturday seemed to evaporate. I didn't get half done of what I intended to get done. I need to get my skates on when I get home. I had a very late night last night chatting to a friend but I don't actually feel too bad, just yet.
You know my never ending challenge to get tidy and organised? Well, I have decided to concede defeat. I am going to gather every solitary item which is out where it should not be, or homeless, and place it in a box, in the back, small bedroom. In the New Year, (I can't believe I've just uttered those two words already,) then I'll take out one box per month and obliterate it making sure everything out of that box finds a home here somewhere, or a home elsewhere. What do you think? I think it's a stunning plan.
I ran for 15 minutes this morning. It was almost not worth getting changed for but as I pondered; "15 minutes or nothing," I surprised myself and opted for the 15 minutes.
I have 9 days left in work before NYC (baby.) I have a busy week coming up so I'm aiming for lots of sleep and good food choices. I haven't lost weight for 3 weeks now and while I'm fine... I would be finer, 6lbs lighter ;)
I'm staring out of my Starbucks window and I can't help but laugh. An otherwise quite stylish woman is linking her man and staring into the shoe shop window opposite, with her back to me. Up to the neck... bingo, 10/10, from the neck up, well, she's wearing a bear hat. There are many around, woollen beanies with ears but this one is not so much a bear hat as the head of a bear. It's a human sized bear head. Maybe it looks better from the front as I can only see it from the back. I'm sure her man was delighted when she rocked up wearing that. Oh, that's really cheered me up, absolutely stunning.
A good friend read last week's blog and commented on my; "life is for living, sharing, laughing, and learning." She noticed that I'd missed out; "loving." Well, she is of course correct. I may not have a conventional family but I'm lucky to have people in my life that I love, and for all of my moaning, I'm loving this journey. If my life were a book, I'd be tempted to skip to the back page to see how it all turned out, I guess I'll just have to wait and see, and do my best to enjoy the mysterious and sometimes infuriating journey.
On a final note in which I attempt to make you jealous, I noticed today that H&M are opening up at Cheshire Oaks. I don't have a lot from there but what I do have, are some of my favourites that I've had for years. When are you coming over next??? Love you x
This time last year, I was running every night and loving it. I just don't seem to have the energy for that this year. I barely have the energy to make myself something to eat when I get in at night. I am super organised though for the week to come. It'll be pouring yogurt, All Bran, banana and milk for breakfast, (I still struggle to eat so early but I somehow manage to.) Nuts and fruit during the the day and steamed white fish and veggies for dinner. Plus 2 litres of water at least, every day. You know I can eat the same things for days and it doesn't bother me. I'll be positively glowing by Saturday... hopefully.
Saturday seemed to evaporate. I didn't get half done of what I intended to get done. I need to get my skates on when I get home. I had a very late night last night chatting to a friend but I don't actually feel too bad, just yet.
You know my never ending challenge to get tidy and organised? Well, I have decided to concede defeat. I am going to gather every solitary item which is out where it should not be, or homeless, and place it in a box, in the back, small bedroom. In the New Year, (I can't believe I've just uttered those two words already,) then I'll take out one box per month and obliterate it making sure everything out of that box finds a home here somewhere, or a home elsewhere. What do you think? I think it's a stunning plan.
I ran for 15 minutes this morning. It was almost not worth getting changed for but as I pondered; "15 minutes or nothing," I surprised myself and opted for the 15 minutes.
I have 9 days left in work before NYC (baby.) I have a busy week coming up so I'm aiming for lots of sleep and good food choices. I haven't lost weight for 3 weeks now and while I'm fine... I would be finer, 6lbs lighter ;)
I'm staring out of my Starbucks window and I can't help but laugh. An otherwise quite stylish woman is linking her man and staring into the shoe shop window opposite, with her back to me. Up to the neck... bingo, 10/10, from the neck up, well, she's wearing a bear hat. There are many around, woollen beanies with ears but this one is not so much a bear hat as the head of a bear. It's a human sized bear head. Maybe it looks better from the front as I can only see it from the back. I'm sure her man was delighted when she rocked up wearing that. Oh, that's really cheered me up, absolutely stunning.
A good friend read last week's blog and commented on my; "life is for living, sharing, laughing, and learning." She noticed that I'd missed out; "loving." Well, she is of course correct. I may not have a conventional family but I'm lucky to have people in my life that I love, and for all of my moaning, I'm loving this journey. If my life were a book, I'd be tempted to skip to the back page to see how it all turned out, I guess I'll just have to wait and see, and do my best to enjoy the mysterious and sometimes infuriating journey.
On a final note in which I attempt to make you jealous, I noticed today that H&M are opening up at Cheshire Oaks. I don't have a lot from there but what I do have, are some of my favourites that I've had for years. When are you coming over next??? Love you x
19th November
Terrible week at work and at home. There has literally been something everyday, by Thursday evening, I was bracing myself for what Friday would deliver, you just have weeks like this sometimes. I was honestly glad to get home Friday, which, in my mind, is when I officially put the week to bed.
I won't bore you with the details but I'll give you a taster, there is a bad atmosphere in work anyway but it now also seems to have been over run with people who will will jump at every opportunity to stab you in the back as quickly as they can look at you. After an off the cuff comment by yours truly, I was tipped off by a friend the next day, advising me that what I had shared with this other person, on how I manage my work and plan my day... had been circulated around an opposing team and I apparently, "wasn't doing the job properly." I have had the same conversation with my manager and the highest manager in the building who spent an hour with me two weeks ago to learn about one particular aspect of the job, and neither so much as raised an eyebrow about how I manage my work. In light of this information which I only remembered once I had calmed down... I realised that the person attempting to stir up trouble is simply sad, and obviously insecure.
There was also a problem with Christmas leave. We were advised that too many people had requested the same days off around the holidays and if no one volunteered to come in , then it may be a case of "names in a hat." In a last ditched attempt to get people to volunteer, our manager did the rounds and I advised that as I'd volunteered to come in last year, I'd take my chances in the hat. A couple of days later, I was told that this year, because they were struggling to get enough people to come in, I may not be able to take a combination of annual leave and time owed, (this is in direct contrast to all other previous years.) I was so incensed that they seem to be able to change the rules to suit them, I told my manager to cancel all of my leave and I'd come in. If I'd been told that I'd been chosen out of the hat to come in, that would have been fine but work seems to make rules up as it goes along of late and I realise I've cut my nose off to spite my face but they just naffed me off. My manager is going to let me know if my presence is required. If I'm in, I'm in, I really don't have the energy to be bothered.
Family is dire. If I hear one more time; "I should have been invited," "she should have phoned me," "I should have received a thank you," "A should have phoned B." I almost blew a gasket on Thursday having coffee with a family member. I hadn't seen her for months but she chose the occasion to dredge up the latest family drama involving her Mother, who incidentally seems to feature in quite a few of them. I am so sick of everyone always being on the defensive, always hard done by, no one ever sees the situation from the other side, which is what I said over coffee. I also said that I find it very sad that at the whole family will never again be able to be in the same room at the same time again, it's broken and it will never be fixed and everyone should just let it go, and move on. At this point, someone who I would never have thought I would be able to silence... was.
I have read that if you emigrate, you should choose to run towards something not away from something. Having said that, honestly, I would welcome an Ocean's worth of distance just now.
I've been ridiculously tired this week, despite eating more than usual and being super healthy. I've managed to get early nights every night...even earlier than usual. I told a friend in work that I feel like I'm snapping at everyone or holding a snap in most of the time. She said that I wasn't, and hadn't been, but I feel like I am, maybe she's being nice. I think I'm just ready for my break from work, nine days left in work, and counting until NYC Baby x
I won't bore you with the details but I'll give you a taster, there is a bad atmosphere in work anyway but it now also seems to have been over run with people who will will jump at every opportunity to stab you in the back as quickly as they can look at you. After an off the cuff comment by yours truly, I was tipped off by a friend the next day, advising me that what I had shared with this other person, on how I manage my work and plan my day... had been circulated around an opposing team and I apparently, "wasn't doing the job properly." I have had the same conversation with my manager and the highest manager in the building who spent an hour with me two weeks ago to learn about one particular aspect of the job, and neither so much as raised an eyebrow about how I manage my work. In light of this information which I only remembered once I had calmed down... I realised that the person attempting to stir up trouble is simply sad, and obviously insecure.
There was also a problem with Christmas leave. We were advised that too many people had requested the same days off around the holidays and if no one volunteered to come in , then it may be a case of "names in a hat." In a last ditched attempt to get people to volunteer, our manager did the rounds and I advised that as I'd volunteered to come in last year, I'd take my chances in the hat. A couple of days later, I was told that this year, because they were struggling to get enough people to come in, I may not be able to take a combination of annual leave and time owed, (this is in direct contrast to all other previous years.) I was so incensed that they seem to be able to change the rules to suit them, I told my manager to cancel all of my leave and I'd come in. If I'd been told that I'd been chosen out of the hat to come in, that would have been fine but work seems to make rules up as it goes along of late and I realise I've cut my nose off to spite my face but they just naffed me off. My manager is going to let me know if my presence is required. If I'm in, I'm in, I really don't have the energy to be bothered.
Family is dire. If I hear one more time; "I should have been invited," "she should have phoned me," "I should have received a thank you," "A should have phoned B." I almost blew a gasket on Thursday having coffee with a family member. I hadn't seen her for months but she chose the occasion to dredge up the latest family drama involving her Mother, who incidentally seems to feature in quite a few of them. I am so sick of everyone always being on the defensive, always hard done by, no one ever sees the situation from the other side, which is what I said over coffee. I also said that I find it very sad that at the whole family will never again be able to be in the same room at the same time again, it's broken and it will never be fixed and everyone should just let it go, and move on. At this point, someone who I would never have thought I would be able to silence... was.
I have read that if you emigrate, you should choose to run towards something not away from something. Having said that, honestly, I would welcome an Ocean's worth of distance just now.
I've been ridiculously tired this week, despite eating more than usual and being super healthy. I've managed to get early nights every night...even earlier than usual. I told a friend in work that I feel like I'm snapping at everyone or holding a snap in most of the time. She said that I wasn't, and hadn't been, but I feel like I am, maybe she's being nice. I think I'm just ready for my break from work, nine days left in work, and counting until NYC Baby x
Sunday, 13 November 2011
Sands of Time
It's Sunday and I'm relishing my last, long weekend for a good few weeks. It was so good to catch up this morning but you sounded as tired as I feel chick, I so wish I could nip over and whisk you off for 36 hours of carefree fun, to eat... we would begin with scones and coffee, laugh, chat, bitch and laugh some more, with a decent amount of alcohol thrown in for good measure, probably around hours 12 to 16, it would be rude to abstain. I do miss you. I'm sure that within a few weeks time, life in both time zones will settle down and become more routine again. Life goes through fazes like this right? It's just a faze and it will be over soon.
I didn't sleep great, no idea why. I went to bed early as I was tired, took forever to get to sleep then woke really early. I finally gave up around 6am and got up. By the time I spoke to you, I'd surfed the net for an hour, done half of Tracy Anderson Butt and Thigh workout, showered and was midway through toast when you called, once again, apologies for crunching down the phone line.
I treated myself to a new gold eyeshadow last week. You know that I like a bit of sparkle and while this is very gold and very sparkly, imagine flecks of gold leaf... it's subtle and unless you were staring at my eyelids while I cast my eyes downwards, you probably wouldn't even know it was there... but I know it's there, I love it.
Did I tell you that yesterday I got here, to Starbucks, and someone was already in my seat? I know that they are communal seats but they're not really, us regulars that are here practically 50 weekends out of 52 should be given an embossed, "reserved" sign don't you think? Anyway, they were light weights and had left after 10 minutes, at which point I reclaimed my natural window seat.
Anyway, I was the first customer of the day today, I don't even have to give in my order now, the staff are so good, and I had a good bitch with the Barista about people not observing the 2 minutes silence... her boyfriend is in the Army so she was as infuriated as I was... am.
So, it's now 10.15am, and my eyes are smarting, I have obviously peaked for the day and I now feel tired. Today is a gloomy day, we have blanket cloud, it's dark grey and I needed full headlights to get here safely. On the upside, the fairy lights that are entwined in the garlands that wrap around everything here are beautifully glowing, and it's not even night time.
I have two five day weeks in work ahead, (how the heck will I cope?) I have already started to attempt to think outside the box. When to wash, when to iron, which bedding I should use, what meals should I have, I need to make things easier for myself for a few weeks rather than make myself miserable trying to stick to a regimented routine. Think outside the box... be nice to yourself. Could you possibly remind me of this in, oh, say around 10 days time when I'm a basket case???
As I write, it's now 1.35pm and three weeks today, I'll be on a plane heading for NYC baby ;) I really can't believe I'll be heading that way again and I just want to soak everything up like a giant sponge and remember it forever, or at least until I inherit the early onset Alzheimer's.
It's now 3pm, my visitor has just left and I am suddenly very aware of the sands of time. People you know who were once as bright as buttons are now... well, not so shiny anymore, not so sharp. It's like walking a tightrope because you suspect that they realise they are not as they were, but you don't want to show that you have noticed too.
It's a reminder that not only are a lot of things around me decaying, crumbling and fading, but I'm reminded that you only have one life, and I believe that you only regret the things that you don't do. Life is for living, sharing, laughing, and learning. Just have to keep reminding myself of that, and if all else fails... write it down so that you don't forget. Love you x
I didn't sleep great, no idea why. I went to bed early as I was tired, took forever to get to sleep then woke really early. I finally gave up around 6am and got up. By the time I spoke to you, I'd surfed the net for an hour, done half of Tracy Anderson Butt and Thigh workout, showered and was midway through toast when you called, once again, apologies for crunching down the phone line.
I treated myself to a new gold eyeshadow last week. You know that I like a bit of sparkle and while this is very gold and very sparkly, imagine flecks of gold leaf... it's subtle and unless you were staring at my eyelids while I cast my eyes downwards, you probably wouldn't even know it was there... but I know it's there, I love it.
Did I tell you that yesterday I got here, to Starbucks, and someone was already in my seat? I know that they are communal seats but they're not really, us regulars that are here practically 50 weekends out of 52 should be given an embossed, "reserved" sign don't you think? Anyway, they were light weights and had left after 10 minutes, at which point I reclaimed my natural window seat.
Anyway, I was the first customer of the day today, I don't even have to give in my order now, the staff are so good, and I had a good bitch with the Barista about people not observing the 2 minutes silence... her boyfriend is in the Army so she was as infuriated as I was... am.
So, it's now 10.15am, and my eyes are smarting, I have obviously peaked for the day and I now feel tired. Today is a gloomy day, we have blanket cloud, it's dark grey and I needed full headlights to get here safely. On the upside, the fairy lights that are entwined in the garlands that wrap around everything here are beautifully glowing, and it's not even night time.
I have two five day weeks in work ahead, (how the heck will I cope?) I have already started to attempt to think outside the box. When to wash, when to iron, which bedding I should use, what meals should I have, I need to make things easier for myself for a few weeks rather than make myself miserable trying to stick to a regimented routine. Think outside the box... be nice to yourself. Could you possibly remind me of this in, oh, say around 10 days time when I'm a basket case???
As I write, it's now 1.35pm and three weeks today, I'll be on a plane heading for NYC baby ;) I really can't believe I'll be heading that way again and I just want to soak everything up like a giant sponge and remember it forever, or at least until I inherit the early onset Alzheimer's.
It's now 3pm, my visitor has just left and I am suddenly very aware of the sands of time. People you know who were once as bright as buttons are now... well, not so shiny anymore, not so sharp. It's like walking a tightrope because you suspect that they realise they are not as they were, but you don't want to show that you have noticed too.
It's a reminder that not only are a lot of things around me decaying, crumbling and fading, but I'm reminded that you only have one life, and I believe that you only regret the things that you don't do. Life is for living, sharing, laughing, and learning. Just have to keep reminding myself of that, and if all else fails... write it down so that you don't forget. Love you x
Saturday, 12 November 2011
Relatively Normal?
So I got my hair cut, I was Louise's last customer of the day and she looked and sounded exhausted, she's been doing late nights too. I felt so bad, I almost told her to skip the blow dry but I'm glad I didn't as it looked lovely, lasted the next day and and I'm really pleased with this cut, my hair has been so well behaved this week.
I did make the months supply of veggie soup, it's okay, needs tweaking on the next batch but I feel very healthy and virtuous while I'm eating it.
I still felt pretty frazzled at the start of the week but I've gradually returned to normal, or as normal as ever, anyway.
Early in the week, when I was still a basket case, the bloke that sits next to me in work and who constantly takes the mickey, makes fun of and criticises me which I usually politely smile enigmatically through, went a bit too far and I snapped. The thing is, I have to put up with his, (insert appropriate word from your vocabulary here,) for weeks and months on end, as soon as I bite back, he looks at me as if I am an insane woman. Happily, the upside is, he didn't speak to me for 1.5 days, and it was bliss. No inane chatter, no mickey taking, just peace. After the 1.5 days, he started talking to me again but minus the mickey taking. We'll see how long this lasts but for now... absolute heaven.
I have been incredibly and ridiculously exhausted this week, I even went to bed at 7.30pm one evening. I vaguely remember feeling this way, this time last year. Not sure if it's the long dark nights, the fact that it's now dark when I get home, the extra hours I'm working, or just me? It's not even cold yet.
I was off on Friday and took J to the Trafford Centre. She's not 100% but we still had a nice time and a gorgeous lunch at Giraffe. We had Toasted Garlic Focaccia followed by Edamame, wok fried in soy, chilli and mirin... yum.
We scoured, and I mean... scoured, the whole of the Trafford Centre for a skinny black, plain belt with silver or black buckle. Can you believe that there was not one to be found, in the whole of the Trafford Centre? Trust me... we looked, everywhere. I almost bought 50mm black satin ribbon but I only wanted 2m to create a kind of cummerbund effect but they would only sell it by the roll! I need it for the too big dress I may be wearing in a couple of weeks and at this rate, I may have to go back for the entire roll.
Before we left, I spotted S&M in Debenhams, good to see them both and I'll be seeing them again at the dinner dance in couple of weeks.
So, I feel much more normal than the past two weeks. More stuff to come which I'll have to deal with but it'll be more spaced out. We have an op next week, nothing the week after, another op the week after that and then I go to NYC baby. Sorry for the baby, I can't seem to say "NYC" without tagging "baby" on the end at the moment :)
I'm both excited and panic stricken. I'm not a bit organised for NYC, (baby,) and by the time I get home, it'll only be two weeks until Christmas. Incidentally, I need to post your parcel by the 5th so you'd better get your thinking cap on madam.
The Christmas decorations are up here at Cheshire Oaks and I heard my first Christmas music as I arrived this morning, this would usually fill me with horror but it was kind of nice.
My washing and ironing are done, (did it yesterday,) so I'm heading home for sorting and tidying.
Workouts have taken a battering of late, in fact, I have been positively rubbish. I did however do side leg lifts most nights and I'm still climbing my 5 flights of stairs each morning at work. After missing my run last weekend due to oversleeping, I ran for 30 minutes yesterday morning and again this morning. It felt great but didn't want to do more as one of my knees is complaining.
As I sped around the supermarket before heading home, I spied a very little, we're talking tiny, old lady, eyeing a box of Yorkshire Tea on the top shelf. I put two and two together and diverted down the aisle just as she raised her arm, her hand would have fallen short of the boxes by around 4 inches, or, she may have been buried under an avalanche of Yorkshire Tea. "Would you like me to reach a box for you?" "Oh yes dear, they always put these things so high up." I have no idea which "things" she was always out of reach of but with my halo positively glowing, and with my good deed of the day done, I continued to speed around the store before heading for fuel then home to tidy.
I did make the months supply of veggie soup, it's okay, needs tweaking on the next batch but I feel very healthy and virtuous while I'm eating it.
I still felt pretty frazzled at the start of the week but I've gradually returned to normal, or as normal as ever, anyway.
Early in the week, when I was still a basket case, the bloke that sits next to me in work and who constantly takes the mickey, makes fun of and criticises me which I usually politely smile enigmatically through, went a bit too far and I snapped. The thing is, I have to put up with his, (insert appropriate word from your vocabulary here,) for weeks and months on end, as soon as I bite back, he looks at me as if I am an insane woman. Happily, the upside is, he didn't speak to me for 1.5 days, and it was bliss. No inane chatter, no mickey taking, just peace. After the 1.5 days, he started talking to me again but minus the mickey taking. We'll see how long this lasts but for now... absolute heaven.
I have been incredibly and ridiculously exhausted this week, I even went to bed at 7.30pm one evening. I vaguely remember feeling this way, this time last year. Not sure if it's the long dark nights, the fact that it's now dark when I get home, the extra hours I'm working, or just me? It's not even cold yet.
I was off on Friday and took J to the Trafford Centre. She's not 100% but we still had a nice time and a gorgeous lunch at Giraffe. We had Toasted Garlic Focaccia followed by Edamame, wok fried in soy, chilli and mirin... yum.
We scoured, and I mean... scoured, the whole of the Trafford Centre for a skinny black, plain belt with silver or black buckle. Can you believe that there was not one to be found, in the whole of the Trafford Centre? Trust me... we looked, everywhere. I almost bought 50mm black satin ribbon but I only wanted 2m to create a kind of cummerbund effect but they would only sell it by the roll! I need it for the too big dress I may be wearing in a couple of weeks and at this rate, I may have to go back for the entire roll.
Before we left, I spotted S&M in Debenhams, good to see them both and I'll be seeing them again at the dinner dance in couple of weeks.
So, I feel much more normal than the past two weeks. More stuff to come which I'll have to deal with but it'll be more spaced out. We have an op next week, nothing the week after, another op the week after that and then I go to NYC baby. Sorry for the baby, I can't seem to say "NYC" without tagging "baby" on the end at the moment :)
I'm both excited and panic stricken. I'm not a bit organised for NYC, (baby,) and by the time I get home, it'll only be two weeks until Christmas. Incidentally, I need to post your parcel by the 5th so you'd better get your thinking cap on madam.
The Christmas decorations are up here at Cheshire Oaks and I heard my first Christmas music as I arrived this morning, this would usually fill me with horror but it was kind of nice.
My washing and ironing are done, (did it yesterday,) so I'm heading home for sorting and tidying.
Workouts have taken a battering of late, in fact, I have been positively rubbish. I did however do side leg lifts most nights and I'm still climbing my 5 flights of stairs each morning at work. After missing my run last weekend due to oversleeping, I ran for 30 minutes yesterday morning and again this morning. It felt great but didn't want to do more as one of my knees is complaining.
As I sped around the supermarket before heading home, I spied a very little, we're talking tiny, old lady, eyeing a box of Yorkshire Tea on the top shelf. I put two and two together and diverted down the aisle just as she raised her arm, her hand would have fallen short of the boxes by around 4 inches, or, she may have been buried under an avalanche of Yorkshire Tea. "Would you like me to reach a box for you?" "Oh yes dear, they always put these things so high up." I have no idea which "things" she was always out of reach of but with my halo positively glowing, and with my good deed of the day done, I continued to speed around the store before heading for fuel then home to tidy.
Sunday, 6 November 2011
Remember, Remember, the 5th of November
I must first rewind to Tuesday night and my musings;
So, I'm sitting here, in a pub, at a table on my own. Incidentally, this is the pub I used to frequent as a 15, 16 year old, I know... I'm disgusting and should be ashamed. Checking ID obviously wasn't so hot in those days. I walked through the door's with S as if entering a tardis or a time warp. It was most peculiar. It seemed run down and dingy. When I was here last, it was heaving with bodies and tonight, it's vertually empty. It's run down and sad, I don't know how it's still in busines but it certainly was a blast from the past.
S is having her reading with the psychic I've just been to and it was pretty much all about new beginnings. The best part about tonight has been nattering with S, you know that she has the gift of the gab and it's been great catching up. It's been a cheap and cheerful night. The psychic began with; "you have a daughter don't you?" Erm, no. Progressed to; "there is a significant man in your life, a Father or Grandfather." No, Grandfather was gone before I even got here, Father has been gone since I was very young, she then told me they were significant because of their absence. What??? I then got a .... "but you do have children right?"
So, you can see that she wasn't white hot in the psychic stakes. Still, she told me four or five things, the same things things kept coming up over the 30 minute reading and she gave me specific dates, none more than 12 months away so we'll know pretty soon how good she was, next month actually. You go to some readings and you're told; "in 18 months," or, "within 3 to 5 years..." by which time you've forgotten anyway.
Long story short, I've been on a hard road and made sacrifices but it's been worth it. I'm far too independent for my own good and if I don't watch out, I'll get crushed under the weight of everything. If someone wants to help me, whether it be with an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, I should accept it. I told her that's how I was raised but she said it's because I'm a fire sign. Maybe I have a double whammy of stubbornness in the independence department?
Anyhoo, I should expect an upturn in finances around late December then more around April. April, a relationship will enter a new phase. By this time next year I'll have a new job and late November, December next year, I should be very aware of con men around my finances. Would be good to think con men would have any interest in my finances.
So, we'll see and as I said, it's not like we have long to wait. I wasn't late going to bed, maybe an hour later than usual but I'd had a headache all day and went to bed with it. When I woke, I felt like I'd cried myself to sleep... I hadn't. My head was pounding, my eyes felt swollen, and I felt like I couldn't see properly.
I probably should review the week at this point, sorry I'm so disjointed this week. Monday I was on pins all morning waiting on the results of sister's biopsy. I'd heard by 11.30a.m. and confess it was difficult to concentrate while I waited. Results could have been better, could have been worse. On a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being cancer, we're a 3. An operation is required before the end of the month and we'll have to wait to see if follow up treatment is needed.
Family member due for surgery on Tuesday, phoned hospital before leaving and was told yes... come on in. Arrived after fighting through morning traffic and paying to park, to be told a mistake had been made, no beds available after all, therefore no surgery. So, a sleepless night, a days pay and a few grey hairs later, and he's waiting to hear his next appointment date.
So you see, the headache was probably a tension headache but by Thursday it was subsiding... a bit. I've had quite a few Friday's off of late but this Friday's drive in to work, was a gift. I cast my eyes on what I consider to be a very poor imitation of, and a diluted version of Aurora Borealis, the Northern Lights. As I approached the bridge with total blanket blackness before me around 5.30ish, one patch of sky was mesmerising. As if lit from behind, this patch of sky was glowing with a green tinge. I couldn't see the moon and I couldn't see any cloud but we must have had blanket cloud with the moon placed firmly behind, imagine someone holding a torch behind an empty pillowcase and how the light would diffuse. It was all I could do to keep an eye on the road, it was so beautiful.
Apart from the worry of this week, hormone fighting, an atmosphere in work that sucked and an impending anniversary at the end of the week, I've worked quite a few extra hours this week too, the equivalent of almost a day. It's now dark when I get home and when I finally got home on Friday night, I found it hard to function. A friend got in touch on Friday night but I explained that I was about to slip into a coma, I was so tired.
I went out like a light on Friday night but woke at 3.30am. I stayed there for a while, and I didn't think I'd be able to drop back off but I did and actually overslept, I must have needed the sleep. After a whistle stop tour of Asda for a few essentials, I'm now at the Trafford Centre which is bedecked in Christmas, it looks lovely. Apart from a few bits, I'm here mainly to gather ideas.
I'm booked in for a hair cut this afternoon then plan on making a months supply of lentil and veggie soup. The aim of the day is to keep busy, but I can tell you now... I'm not liking the number eight.
So, I'm sitting here, in a pub, at a table on my own. Incidentally, this is the pub I used to frequent as a 15, 16 year old, I know... I'm disgusting and should be ashamed. Checking ID obviously wasn't so hot in those days. I walked through the door's with S as if entering a tardis or a time warp. It was most peculiar. It seemed run down and dingy. When I was here last, it was heaving with bodies and tonight, it's vertually empty. It's run down and sad, I don't know how it's still in busines but it certainly was a blast from the past.
S is having her reading with the psychic I've just been to and it was pretty much all about new beginnings. The best part about tonight has been nattering with S, you know that she has the gift of the gab and it's been great catching up. It's been a cheap and cheerful night. The psychic began with; "you have a daughter don't you?" Erm, no. Progressed to; "there is a significant man in your life, a Father or Grandfather." No, Grandfather was gone before I even got here, Father has been gone since I was very young, she then told me they were significant because of their absence. What??? I then got a .... "but you do have children right?"
So, you can see that she wasn't white hot in the psychic stakes. Still, she told me four or five things, the same things things kept coming up over the 30 minute reading and she gave me specific dates, none more than 12 months away so we'll know pretty soon how good she was, next month actually. You go to some readings and you're told; "in 18 months," or, "within 3 to 5 years..." by which time you've forgotten anyway.
Long story short, I've been on a hard road and made sacrifices but it's been worth it. I'm far too independent for my own good and if I don't watch out, I'll get crushed under the weight of everything. If someone wants to help me, whether it be with an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, I should accept it. I told her that's how I was raised but she said it's because I'm a fire sign. Maybe I have a double whammy of stubbornness in the independence department?
Anyhoo, I should expect an upturn in finances around late December then more around April. April, a relationship will enter a new phase. By this time next year I'll have a new job and late November, December next year, I should be very aware of con men around my finances. Would be good to think con men would have any interest in my finances.
So, we'll see and as I said, it's not like we have long to wait. I wasn't late going to bed, maybe an hour later than usual but I'd had a headache all day and went to bed with it. When I woke, I felt like I'd cried myself to sleep... I hadn't. My head was pounding, my eyes felt swollen, and I felt like I couldn't see properly.
I probably should review the week at this point, sorry I'm so disjointed this week. Monday I was on pins all morning waiting on the results of sister's biopsy. I'd heard by 11.30a.m. and confess it was difficult to concentrate while I waited. Results could have been better, could have been worse. On a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being cancer, we're a 3. An operation is required before the end of the month and we'll have to wait to see if follow up treatment is needed.
Family member due for surgery on Tuesday, phoned hospital before leaving and was told yes... come on in. Arrived after fighting through morning traffic and paying to park, to be told a mistake had been made, no beds available after all, therefore no surgery. So, a sleepless night, a days pay and a few grey hairs later, and he's waiting to hear his next appointment date.
So you see, the headache was probably a tension headache but by Thursday it was subsiding... a bit. I've had quite a few Friday's off of late but this Friday's drive in to work, was a gift. I cast my eyes on what I consider to be a very poor imitation of, and a diluted version of Aurora Borealis, the Northern Lights. As I approached the bridge with total blanket blackness before me around 5.30ish, one patch of sky was mesmerising. As if lit from behind, this patch of sky was glowing with a green tinge. I couldn't see the moon and I couldn't see any cloud but we must have had blanket cloud with the moon placed firmly behind, imagine someone holding a torch behind an empty pillowcase and how the light would diffuse. It was all I could do to keep an eye on the road, it was so beautiful.
Apart from the worry of this week, hormone fighting, an atmosphere in work that sucked and an impending anniversary at the end of the week, I've worked quite a few extra hours this week too, the equivalent of almost a day. It's now dark when I get home and when I finally got home on Friday night, I found it hard to function. A friend got in touch on Friday night but I explained that I was about to slip into a coma, I was so tired.
I went out like a light on Friday night but woke at 3.30am. I stayed there for a while, and I didn't think I'd be able to drop back off but I did and actually overslept, I must have needed the sleep. After a whistle stop tour of Asda for a few essentials, I'm now at the Trafford Centre which is bedecked in Christmas, it looks lovely. Apart from a few bits, I'm here mainly to gather ideas.
I'm booked in for a hair cut this afternoon then plan on making a months supply of lentil and veggie soup. The aim of the day is to keep busy, but I can tell you now... I'm not liking the number eight.
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