Remember, Remember, the 5th of November

I must first rewind to Tuesday night and my musings;

So, I'm sitting here, in a pub, at a table on my own.  Incidentally, this is the pub I used to frequent as a 15, 16 year old, I know... I'm disgusting and should be ashamed.  Checking ID obviously wasn't so hot in those days.  I walked through the door's with S as if entering a tardis or a time warp.  It was most peculiar.  It seemed run down and dingy. When I was here last, it was heaving with bodies and tonight, it's vertually empty.  It's run down and sad, I don't know how it's still in busines but it certainly was a blast from the past.

S is having her reading with the psychic I've just been to and it was pretty much all about new beginnings.  The best part about tonight has been nattering with S, you know that she has the gift of the gab and it's been great catching up.  It's been a cheap and cheerful night.  The psychic began with; "you have a daughter don't you?"  Erm, no.  Progressed to; "there is a significant man in your life, a Father or Grandfather."  No, Grandfather was gone before I even got here, Father has been gone since I was very young, she then told me they were significant because of their absence.  What???  I then got a .... "but you do have children right?" 

So, you can see that she wasn't white hot in the psychic stakes.  Still, she told me four or five things, the same things things kept coming up over the 30 minute reading and she gave me specific dates, none more than 12 months away so we'll know pretty soon how good she was, next month actually.  You go to some readings and you're told; "in 18 months," or, "within 3 to 5 years..."  by which time you've forgotten anyway. 

Long story short, I've been on a hard road and made sacrifices but it's been worth it.  I'm far too independent for my own good  and if I don't watch out, I'll get crushed under the weight of everything.  If someone wants to help me, whether it be with an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, I should accept it.  I told her that's how I was raised but she said it's because I'm a fire sign.  Maybe I have a double whammy of stubbornness in the independence department? 

Anyhoo, I should expect an upturn in finances around late December then more around April.  April, a relationship will enter a new phase.  By this time next year I'll have a new job and late November, December next year, I should be very aware of con men around my finances.  Would be good to think con men would have any interest in my finances.

So, we'll see and as I said, it's not like we have long to wait.  I wasn't late going to bed, maybe an hour later than usual but I'd had a headache all day and went to bed with it.  When I woke, I felt like I'd cried myself to sleep... I hadn't.  My head was pounding, my eyes felt swollen, and I felt like I couldn't see properly.

I probably should review the week at this point, sorry I'm so disjointed this week.  Monday I was on pins all morning waiting on the results of sister's biopsy.  I'd heard by 11.30a.m. and confess it was difficult to concentrate while I waited.  Results could have been better, could have been worse.  On a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being cancer, we're a 3.  An operation is required before the end of the month and we'll have to wait to see if follow up treatment is needed. 

Family member due for surgery on Tuesday, phoned hospital before leaving and was told yes... come on in.  Arrived after fighting through morning traffic and paying to park, to be told a mistake had been made, no beds available after all, therefore no surgery.  So, a sleepless night, a days pay and a few grey hairs later, and he's waiting to hear his next appointment date.

So you see, the headache was probably a tension headache but by Thursday it was subsiding... a bit.  I've had quite a few Friday's off of late but this Friday's drive in to work, was a gift.  I cast my eyes on what I consider to be a very poor imitation of, and a diluted version of Aurora Borealis, the Northern Lights.  As I approached the bridge with total blanket blackness before me around 5.30ish, one patch of sky was mesmerising.  As if lit from behind, this patch of sky was glowing with a green tinge.  I couldn't see the moon and I couldn't see any cloud but we must have had blanket cloud with the moon placed firmly behind, imagine someone holding a torch behind an empty pillowcase and how the light would diffuse.  It was all I could do to keep an eye on the road, it was so beautiful.

Apart from the worry of this week, hormone fighting, an atmosphere in work that sucked and an impending anniversary at the end of the week, I've worked quite a few extra hours this week too, the equivalent of almost a day.  It's now dark when I get home and when I finally got home on Friday night, I found it hard to function.  A friend got in touch on Friday night but I explained that I was about to slip into a coma, I was so tired.

I went out like a light on Friday night but woke at 3.30am.  I stayed there for a while, and I didn't think I'd be able to drop back off but I did and actually overslept, I must have needed the sleep.  After a whistle stop tour of Asda for a few essentials, I'm now at the Trafford Centre which is bedecked in Christmas, it looks lovely.  Apart from a few bits, I'm here mainly to gather ideas.

I'm booked in for a hair cut this afternoon then plan on making a months supply of lentil and veggie soup.  The aim of the day is to keep busy, but I can tell you now... I'm not liking the number eight.