Terrible week at work and at home. There has literally been something everyday, by Thursday evening, I was bracing myself for what Friday would deliver, you just have weeks like this sometimes. I was honestly glad to get home Friday, which, in my mind, is when I officially put the week to bed.
I won't bore you with the details but I'll give you a taster, there is a bad atmosphere in work anyway but it now also seems to have been over run with people who will will jump at every opportunity to stab you in the back as quickly as they can look at you. After an off the cuff comment by yours truly, I was tipped off by a friend the next day, advising me that what I had shared with this other person, on how I manage my work and plan my day... had been circulated around an opposing team and I apparently, "wasn't doing the job properly." I have had the same conversation with my manager and the highest manager in the building who spent an hour with me two weeks ago to learn about one particular aspect of the job, and neither so much as raised an eyebrow about how I manage my work. In light of this information which I only remembered once I had calmed down... I realised that the person attempting to stir up trouble is simply sad, and obviously insecure.
There was also a problem with Christmas leave. We were advised that too many people had requested the same days off around the holidays and if no one volunteered to come in , then it may be a case of "names in a hat." In a last ditched attempt to get people to volunteer, our manager did the rounds and I advised that as I'd volunteered to come in last year, I'd take my chances in the hat. A couple of days later, I was told that this year, because they were struggling to get enough people to come in, I may not be able to take a combination of annual leave and time owed, (this is in direct contrast to all other previous years.) I was so incensed that they seem to be able to change the rules to suit them, I told my manager to cancel all of my leave and I'd come in. If I'd been told that I'd been chosen out of the hat to come in, that would have been fine but work seems to make rules up as it goes along of late and I realise I've cut my nose off to spite my face but they just naffed me off. My manager is going to let me know if my presence is required. If I'm in, I'm in, I really don't have the energy to be bothered.
Family is dire. If I hear one more time; "I should have been invited," "she should have phoned me," "I should have received a thank you," "A should have phoned B." I almost blew a gasket on Thursday having coffee with a family member. I hadn't seen her for months but she chose the occasion to dredge up the latest family drama involving her Mother, who incidentally seems to feature in quite a few of them. I am so sick of everyone always being on the defensive, always hard done by, no one ever sees the situation from the other side, which is what I said over coffee. I also said that I find it very sad that at the whole family will never again be able to be in the same room at the same time again, it's broken and it will never be fixed and everyone should just let it go, and move on. At this point, someone who I would never have thought I would be able to silence... was.
I have read that if you emigrate, you should choose to run towards something not away from something. Having said that, honestly, I would welcome an Ocean's worth of distance just now.
I've been ridiculously tired this week, despite eating more than usual and being super healthy. I've managed to get early nights every night...even earlier than usual. I told a friend in work that I feel like I'm snapping at everyone or holding a snap in most of the time. She said that I wasn't, and hadn't been, but I feel like I am, maybe she's being nice. I think I'm just ready for my break from work, nine days left in work, and counting until NYC Baby x
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