The Reunion Part One

I left school, high school, many moons ago and I haven't seen most of my fellow pupils for over twenty-five years.  So, when I was recently invited to an unofficial reunion, I pondered.  Number one reason not to go, as you well know, is that I'm socially awkward.  If ever there was someone born to live in solitude and write all day long... it was me.  Secondly, we all have different lives now and we may be different people than we were so long ago. 

On the plus side, the curiosity is killing me, if I hate it after an hour, I can leave and if I go this time and hate it, I know not to even consider the next one.

I canvassed opinion.  My friend Soose advised that she attended one a few years ago, slightly different as she went with friends and not alone, you think there will be a lot of one-upmanship, but there isn't.  My friend Tracy advises to go for it, you'll be nervous until you get there, then you'll be fine.  If it's not great, you can make your excuses and leave.

After a month long, open invitation, it was on the morning of the event that I decided I should go, the event was being held at a local pub, the old stomping ground actually and the place of my first underage drink.

So, one nervous stomach for the whole of the day and I was running five minutes late, but finally, ready to face my past, face my school daze.  It felt like the dawning of a new term and I remembered how much I loathed the dawning of a new term. 

I didn't try too hard with the outfit and the look.  Make-up was my usual day slap and I chose a bright red loose top, (thought the red would give me confidence,) Gap cropped khaki's and  a mid heel peep toe that I've had for years.  Not sexy, not overly smart, mostly smart/cashz, can't go wrong with a bit of SC if you're not sure, plus I felt like I looked okay.

I arrived at the venue and powered on in, didn't hesitate once I got there, thought it best not to.  So in I walked alone, straight up to the bar and stood beside three or four other women.  The woman to my left turned; "Hi J, what are you drinking?"  Could I have had a smoother entrance?

Are there Any Single Men Left on Earth?

I keep dreaming about unavailable men.  What is going on?  All dreams are totally "U" rated I should add but still, got to admit that it is odd, is it not?

Friday night, I dreamt that a bloke I like, who is well and truly taken, returned from holiday to announce that he was no longer attached.  (I suspect a little wishful thinking in this instance.)  Another friend was in Saturday's dream, again, he is not even remotely single, and I don't even fancy this one, yet there he was... in my dream.

So what would a psychiatrist say?  I would run a mile if a bloke was actually single and interested?  Possibly.  I don't know for sure but sometimes, a girl needs some testosterone around, even if it's only in her dreams.  What can I say?

Before you suggest Internet dating as an antidote, I know lots of people hook up from online encounters, I know that there are wonderful people out there, someone close to me met their current and lovely other half, online.  But, for me, you and I both know that I would only attract the weirdos and the axe murderers.  You know that I'm right x

Scars

This evening, I watched an episode of "Sex and the City".  My imaginary friend... Carrie, is dating a guy with a Tweetie Pie, tattooed on his arm.  While they are sharing defining, identifiable marks, Carrie in turn, shares a scar on her knee.  It got me looking for my huge scar on my knee, that I created in childhood. 

Last time I looked, said scar was there, I looked to my right and then my left.  I can't remember when I stopped looking, but my scar is from when I was around, I don't actually know, little-ish.  Scar was created when, I ran to tell next-sister-up J, that dinner was ready, and I fell in the gravel. I was around 5-ish maybe?  Blood and bandages ensued, I remember being carried in, by Billy I think, (next door but one neighbour who had been chatting to J,) and being plonked on the dining room table to be attended to, but I was never taken to get stitches and so I had a huge scar on... my left knee. 

The scar has faded so much, I had to search for it.  Initially, I didn't even know which knee it was on. It made me think.  Something that was so painful and so uncomfortable, so prominent and obvious, can fade to nothing in time?  So much so, that you have to go looking for it.

A scar and a memory that I thought was once so indelible, had become, invisible to the naked eye.  It was a truly liberating moment.  I suddenly realised that, that which had scarred me in childhood, simply had no place in my life now, and I'm not talking about my knee.  That which I thought was going to scar me for life, has faded so much over time.  The scar on my knee represented other childhood scarring, and I realised that it too, had faded away, it's power, totally depleted.

Today, I feel strong.  Today I feel like a Goddess.  Right now, I think I could rule the World.

Sod's Law

Full week in work and for the first time since I got there in October, I was able to work overtime on Saturday.  It wasn't terrible, I was busy and the day passed pretty quickly and I was very productive, amazing what you can achieve when you're not being interrupted constantly. 

Early Saturday morning, I receive a text and "it" is thrown out there, it hangs in the air like sulphur.  Do I want to catch up later?  Hmm, do I?  I don't feel 100%, I won't have time to get all of the housework done and to get me, "date" ready. 

I get home at 2.45pm and set about throwing myself in the shower, ironing, tidying, cleaning.  I still have loads to do by 5pm when someone rings me.  Someone, who never rings me, chooses to ring me when for once, I have plans, and I'm pushed for time.  I'm still on the phone, when there is a knock at the door.  Are you kidding me?  "Surprise!"  It's my darling nephew.  I am of course delighted to see him, we haven't seen each other for about 4 weeks.  He is invited in and offered a cuppa, as long as he doesn't mind me continuing with the tidying around him, while he brings me up to date  with his travels and his new girlfriend.

By 7pm, I'm as ready as I'm going to be and I finally sit down with a small glass of wine while I wait for my date.  As soon as I take a sip, I realise I need to eat something.  So far, today I have eaten two Kit Kat's and a cracker.  What do I have in?  Nothing.

Summer Highs

You will be well aware that we are not accustomed to such sunny and hot weather, and we clearly, do not know how to dress for such, but even I have been shocked by the amount of under bum on display recently.  You know what I'm talking about.  Girls, even women, wearing too small shorts and allowing their under bums to escape captivity and make a break for it.  It's not a good look ladies.  If you must display it, do so only to your nearest and dearest, do not take it to the supermarket.