Scars

This evening, I watched an episode of "Sex and the City".  My imaginary friend... Carrie, is dating a guy with a Tweetie Pie, tattooed on his arm.  While they are sharing defining, identifiable marks, Carrie in turn, shares a scar on her knee.  It got me looking for my huge scar on my knee, that I created in childhood. 

Last time I looked, said scar was there, I looked to my right and then my left.  I can't remember when I stopped looking, but my scar is from when I was around, I don't actually know, little-ish.  Scar was created when, I ran to tell next-sister-up J, that dinner was ready, and I fell in the gravel. I was around 5-ish maybe?  Blood and bandages ensued, I remember being carried in, by Billy I think, (next door but one neighbour who had been chatting to J,) and being plonked on the dining room table to be attended to, but I was never taken to get stitches and so I had a huge scar on... my left knee. 

The scar has faded so much, I had to search for it.  Initially, I didn't even know which knee it was on. It made me think.  Something that was so painful and so uncomfortable, so prominent and obvious, can fade to nothing in time?  So much so, that you have to go looking for it.

A scar and a memory that I thought was once so indelible, had become, invisible to the naked eye.  It was a truly liberating moment.  I suddenly realised that, that which had scarred me in childhood, simply had no place in my life now, and I'm not talking about my knee.  That which I thought was going to scar me for life, has faded so much over time.  The scar on my knee represented other childhood scarring, and I realised that it too, had faded away, it's power, totally depleted.

Today, I feel strong.  Today I feel like a Goddess.  Right now, I think I could rule the World.