Tsunami

I'm experiencing  a mini quake, a tremor, a, well... you can decide.  Incoming, major back surgery, incoming bcc, incoming determined shadow on chest x-rays., PET scan, lung biopsy, chemo.  None of these are mine you understand, but belong to those that I love.  You know what it's like Col, it gets you thinking doesn't it?

So, (I know, you don't begin a sentence with 'so', but I'm just talking to you... so...)  All of these people, mean so much to me and  I can't imagine my life, without any of them in it.  I don't want to imagine the alternative.  Most of all, I don't want any of them to go through what they have to go through.

It's a lot to cope with at one time, and I'm holding it together but I have a feeling that the, raggedy seams may not be held together for much longer.  Not without a little bursting anyway.

To compound the situation, my cousin Lyn, my one constant, is currently on a much deserved holiday, on a glorious Greek Island.  I miss her too.

This week, I have watched 'Up In the Air' and 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button'.  Both films made me think.  'Up in the Air', I found sad, can't tell you why in case you haven't seen it yet, but I totally related.  'Benjamin', was sad too, but there was a line in there somewhere, along the lines of, 'it's never too late, or too early, to start over.'  That really got me thinking.

I believe in God, I believe in visiting this earth for as many times as it takes for you to truly learn life's lessons, maybe to even get it right, although I can't imagine that ever happening.

I read an astrology report, many years ago which said that this was one of my last visits, and for some reason, I believe that could be true.  I do believe I have been here before and yes, this could be my last visit.  Not that I remember any details, but from a young age, I always had that de-ja-vu feeling...  I understand that I probably lost you at astrology report. 

I always have this feeling that time is running out, maybe it is.