Time Away

Mother's Day was hard this year and you would think I would be used to it by now.  I did wonder yesterday if I would see a white 'hello' feather today.  I got to Starbucks at 9.10am a little later than usual as Mike pointed out as he processed my card, and as I walked to my usual seat... there it was, a white feather, on the tiles, within feet of the just mopped floor signs.  Made my day.

I have three more days in work then I'm off for around ten I think, possibly eleven.  I'm still coughing and I have an ulcer on my tonsil and a pretty sore throat.  I'd aimed for a coffee date today but turned it down in the end.  Probably not the best company in the world and better to be by myself. 

I feel like I need to make some big decisions but it's pretty hard sometimes.  I have major construction going on right on my doorstep.  Neighbours are telling me that they have huge cracks in their brickwork, inside and out.  My manager is telling me it's time to move on as there is no progression where I am now, where to, I do not know and I feel more alone than ever.  Still, I'm probably just exhausted and in need of some time off.

My first weekend off is just what the doctor ordered.  A long weekend away with friends, change of scenery, change of company, a couple of plane rides, despite being 'randomly' swabbed for drugs... again at the airport, (do I look like a druggy or an easy stat?  Seriously, I have been randomly swabbed so many times.  It really can't be that random.)  The change of air, sea air, fresh air, helped to clear the last of my cough.  I didn't over indulge, in alcohol anyway.  I clocked about 6 to 7 hours sleep every night and it was just lovely to catch up with everyone.

I feel clarity.  I feel different.