Weekend Mash Up

First of all, apologies for my laziness this week, normal service will be resumed shortly. 

So, please allow me to rewind and to begin with Friday?  There I was, I was thanking every God there ever was, that it was in fact... Friday.  The working week wasn't bad until Thursday when, with one thing and another frustrating the life out of me, unfairness, injustice, poor management, hormones, and a friend showing concern... I almost lost it.  It was talking to my friend that I realised how much has  been going on lately.  What's that game where you pile stuff on and pile stuff on until it's about to topple?  Well, I suppose that was me, this week.

My friend asked if I was okay and I said that I was, it just seemed to be everyone around me, close family illness, close family depression, 2nd biopsy for a sister, surgery for another on Tuesday, family arguments, family not speaking, work awful, saying hi and bye to R and being no nearer to getting to you.  Then... I got the usual, are you eating enough?  Anyway, to top it all, I was actually more frustrated with myself for not making any changes in my life.  If I'm so unhappy, what am I going to do about it?

We're now in a new journal madam, how many is that?  So, I still felt pretty fraught on Friday morning but on Friday afternoon, I spent a wonderful few hours with my cousin and her new baby, you can't stay fraught around a baby can you?  We discussed work and family and relationships and I think I made a new commitment to my cousin to visit more often.  She was giving me these puppy dog eyes and as I'm the elder, I felt the need to step in with a solution.  She's right, we don't live far away and while we've never been ultra close, there aren't many of us so I vowed to made the effort and be there when I can.  The afternoon was just what I needed.

Saturday, I woke in darkness and lay there for a while waiting for my alarm to go off.  Getting bored, I decided to check the time, it was 2.15am.  I didn't get back to sleep but after a while, decided to get up and do something to improve my mood.  Not having any drugs to hand... I decided to go for a run and I did... for an hour.  It's months since I ran for that long and I had to talk myself into it in 5 minute sections after 30 minutes but it did feel good and I did feel a little lifted afterwards.

I'm heading home to iron then to go for a walk with B, I know that she's a little down too so I'll be reaching for the wine later.

The clocks fall back an hour tonight, we gain an extra hours sleep, but we'll be plunged into darkness by 4ish each afternoon.

In an attempt to make room in my freezer, I'm defrosting my way through the contents.  I took out a plastic tub of; "I have no idea what," on Thursday night to have on Friday for dinner.  Turned out to be chicken casserole and it wasn't bad,  it's blow your head off vegetarian chili later... again, from the freezer.

People have varying views on psychics, are they; charlatans, fraudsters, counsellors, givers of hope?  A local pub is having a psychic night on Tuesday and S, who lives around the corner from me, and moi... are going.  I'm not exactly sure what I want them to tell me, but as pretty much everything seems to be a mess just now, anything they tell me could sound positive.  It doesn't have to sound earth shattering... just full of hope would be good... no pressure.

I could of course end up with a dud but, if past experience is anything to go by, if they are half way any good, then I should get a good reading as I seem to be a bit of an empty vessel, I'm easy to tune into and unable to hide anything.  I must be such an open book.  So my dear, I will be here with a full report in no time... good, or bad.

Two women have just come into Starbucks.  I've seen them before and each time think hmm, they look familiar.  It's just dawned on me where I know them from, they used to be regulars at  a hotel I used to work at circa 1987. 

So, it's Sunday and British Summer Time ended in the wee small hours.  My back/ hip were complaining yesterday but today, it hurts to breathe so absolutely no workout for me today. 

I'm really enjoying the book you sent me; Eat Pray Love, and I love Elizabeth Gilbert's writing style.  I bonded with her on page 1.  I must warn you that I'm the slowest reader in the world, but I can't wait for the story to unfold.

For only the second time ever, I have just indulged in a refill which I'm entitled to with my filter coffee, I have time to kill today before dropping off a birthday present.

I watched Strictly last night and one of my favourites, a little girl, (she's Northern, 23, and a cutie pie,) had a wardrobe malfunction and was in tears after exposing herself.  Nothing was seen except maybe from the front row of the studio audience, but I really felt for her. 

Wardrobe need to get their act together this year.  There have been a few incidents already.  The professional dancers and the celebrities put their trust in the wardrobe department and they should deliver.  How would they like to be exposing themselves in front of millions of viewers on prime time television?



Do you look for signs?  You know by now that I do.  For a week or more, I was wondering what ever happened to some dressy Capri pants that I have never worn, the label is still on them, or at least was. Saturday morning, after losing feeling and sensation in my fingers, I though that I should find a jumper to wear for my afternoon walk with B.  As I reached for the jumper that I haven't worn for a couple of years but had firmly imprinted in my brain as the one I should wear, what was underneath the jumper, but, the dressy Capri pants, with label intact.  They are now a little on the big side incidentally.

Today, in the lounge, I spotted a white feather.  It's probably originated from my bedroom pillow and I've somehow walked it in here but still... a white, symbolic feather.  Funny huh?

Sorry if I sound a bit down, I'm fine honestly.  Results of a biopsy tomorrow, surgery on Tuesday, God knows what in the middle then Mum's anniversary on Saturday, then I should feel remotely normal... hopefully.  Until then... just give me a very wide berth.  Love you x