So today, I got a slap in the face. Not literally you understand but I still felt it. Actually, I've had a few slaps the past few days. It's like the Universe is saying, "for heaven's sake, wake up will you?"
My friend told me that all she wanted to do on Sunday was cuddle with.... her significant other. Sunday, a friend who is kind of together with someone but seems to be single, told me that they were heading off to choose blinds and curtains. Slap. Huge reminder that said friend is well and truly part of a couple. Have I been in a coma and slept through a few months and it's now either Christmas or New Year? You know... those well known holidays in which you are damned if you are single.
I sit next to Mark (name changed to protect the not so innocent,) in work. He is also a Leo, he is a little older than me, happily married with two gorgeous boys. He is the worst gossip, knows everything that's happening in the office and if you don't tell him what's going on with you... he'll make it up and repeat it until it sticks, for instance, I apparently have a pen chant for short and powerful men. No, I have no idea where that came from either, but he's repeated it for over a year now, and the gullible in work sometimes actually believe him, until I put them straight.
Since declaring myself single to Mark a few weeks ago, (I had to, I wasn't up to Mark's jibes the day after the break up so I confessed and he was sweet.) We have now left sweet, well enough alone and he's decided he should make me a list of all eligible males. Let me see, there is Lester, with the stacked heels and the restraining order, a reminder of his last relationship, neanderthal man and... I can't go on, at this point anyway, it's too cruel.
I was of course in work on Sunday, it was very quiet and it was actually nice, and peaceful. Monday and Tuesday, we had torrential rain, more than a months rain fell in the first 24 hours. I managed somehow to not get too saturated on my walk to and from the car, so that was a blessing. It's now Tuesday evening and the rain is still battering down, it's supposed to break tomorrow... fingers crossed.
The last two days have been long and busy. On one hand, they've actually passed quite quickly, on the other, I feel like I've crammed in at least three days work in already.
Wednesday, another long day with more torrential rain, I was pretty soaked before I even arrived at work this morning. The day wasn't too bad, I worked as fast as I could, got my stats pretty quickly then started to prep other work I had waiting for me and looking at me. On the way home, I had to queue to get onto the bridge, queue to get into the supermarket, queue for fuel, then queue to get out of the supermarket, oh then I queued in the road works, got home 12 hours after I left.
Thursday is the first day that I park up and walk to work without, without being rained on. No rain, no force 10 gale, nothing, it's dark, but I actually enjoy the walk today.
Work passes by really quickly... again, at this rate I'll be finished before I know it. Word is spreading and people from other parts of the building are starting to stop me and ask me about my new job, one thing I can say about the job is, the people are lovely and I will miss them. Anyway, it's J's birthday today. She isn't up to going out for a meal so I'm invited to have dinner with them, it's a take-away meal and I head to J's after work and we wait for G, J's hubby and CJ... my nephew. It was a lovely night but we didn't eat until after 7pm, which is not unusual for normal people, for me, when I had my breakfast at 4.15am, no lunch and I'm usually just about ready for bed by 7.30pm... it was a tad late. It was lovely though, there is something special about sharing food and chatting with loved ones isn't there? I excuse myself as I know I won't last much longer, I still have to drive home, shower and dry the head before I aim for bed, I get home at 7.45pm. I shower, watch an episode of "Friends," (the one where Chandler goes AWOL just before the wedding,) update here, then head for bed by 8.45pm. So tired.
It's Friday and I wake at 3am with a million things zinging through my brain, I'm up at 3.20, I realise that this is not normal.
Saturday, 29 September 2012
Saturday, 22 September 2012
Exhausted
So my car exhaust is hanging on by a thread and it makes THE most dreadful rattle as I drive. I am of course driving along, permanently looking in my rear view mirror to see if it's dropped off.
After spending the early afternoon with B in Ness, wandering around the beautiful and tranquil gardens, we arrive back at hers and I set off in my rattle-some car and head for dear nephews. I arrive, after a mere few minutes traumatic journey and he greets me at the door.
"I'm having car trauma," I tell him as the front door opens. "I know, I went to Chester this morning for the part." How lucky am I? Something that could easily render me car-less and therefore housebound, is taken care of because of darling nephew, dear brother-in-law and the glue.... my sister J.
So darling nephew makes me close my eyes, he covers them with one hand anyway then puts his other arm around me and guides me while I baby step through the hall. He's decorated, well actually, that's an understatement. His place has been transformed, I helped choose the new sofa and okay'd the colour scheme, but of course I've been working overtime for weeks and this is the first time I've seen the transformation. It's wonderful, it's hi-tech, minimalistic, stylish, you can tell it's a modern bachelor pad but it's not so overly masculine that a very lucky young lady would not feel comfortable in the surroundings. Job well done, I'm very proud of him. So, two coffee's later, a demonstration of HD/3D television and it's time to drop my car off at my sister's ready for dear brother-in-law when he finishes work. J drops me at home so that I can begin the ironing before I'm back in work tomorrow.
8.45pm and dear brother-in-law brings my car back home to me, took him 2 hours to get the old exhaust off and 20 minutes to get the new one one, bless him. I appreciate his efforts so much and I hope he realises how much, I'm so lucky.
He drives the car into the garage, tells me one of the tyres has a wobble, (I know...) and that a side light is out... (I know, I was waiting to break the news to him.)
So pretty soon, I can head to bed with the hope of rising at 5am ready to go to work... to pay for the exhaust.
After spending the early afternoon with B in Ness, wandering around the beautiful and tranquil gardens, we arrive back at hers and I set off in my rattle-some car and head for dear nephews. I arrive, after a mere few minutes traumatic journey and he greets me at the door.
"I'm having car trauma," I tell him as the front door opens. "I know, I went to Chester this morning for the part." How lucky am I? Something that could easily render me car-less and therefore housebound, is taken care of because of darling nephew, dear brother-in-law and the glue.... my sister J.
So darling nephew makes me close my eyes, he covers them with one hand anyway then puts his other arm around me and guides me while I baby step through the hall. He's decorated, well actually, that's an understatement. His place has been transformed, I helped choose the new sofa and okay'd the colour scheme, but of course I've been working overtime for weeks and this is the first time I've seen the transformation. It's wonderful, it's hi-tech, minimalistic, stylish, you can tell it's a modern bachelor pad but it's not so overly masculine that a very lucky young lady would not feel comfortable in the surroundings. Job well done, I'm very proud of him. So, two coffee's later, a demonstration of HD/3D television and it's time to drop my car off at my sister's ready for dear brother-in-law when he finishes work. J drops me at home so that I can begin the ironing before I'm back in work tomorrow.
8.45pm and dear brother-in-law brings my car back home to me, took him 2 hours to get the old exhaust off and 20 minutes to get the new one one, bless him. I appreciate his efforts so much and I hope he realises how much, I'm so lucky.
He drives the car into the garage, tells me one of the tyres has a wobble, (I know...) and that a side light is out... (I know, I was waiting to break the news to him.)
So pretty soon, I can head to bed with the hope of rising at 5am ready to go to work... to pay for the exhaust.
Frizz Hell
The online "My Daily", part of the "Huffington Post" ran an article on Monday; "Duchess Kate in Frizzy Hair Shocker in Soloman Islands." Well stop the presses. All I can say is, thank the Lord that the paparazzi are not following me on a daily basis, otherwise frizzy hair would not be such a shock to them. The Paps must live very secluded lives and only ever photograph those that are never more than 6ft away from a hairdresser. Have they really nothing better to comment on?
Something Bad?
It's Friday and I'm tired and it's been a very long week, it's actually past my bedtime but I had to write something before I could retire for the night.
I always try to look on the bright side but good things happen so rarely, that when something good happens, like the job offer, I am constantly looking behind me and waiting for something bad to bite me on the behind. I remember finding out the last time I'd been promoted, and thinking I'd crash on the way home.
Anyway, I've been looking behind me and waiting, since I learnt that I have the life changing job, surely there must be some price to pay? Tuesday, I noticed a new and strange, tinny sound coming from my car as I backed it out of the garage at 5.30am. Same Wednesday, didn't notice it Thursday, Friday... today, it's got worse, I actually thought the exhaust pipe was trailing along the road, such was the scraping and voluminous noise emitting from my undercarriage.
After a swift phone call to J, she phoned straight back to say, drive over and let G, my dear brother-in -law take a look. News was not what I had hoped for. The middle section needs replacing and cannot be fixed or patched up. I don't get paid for another week so while I am driving around, the exhaust may or may not fall off. This will help my blood pressure, no end.
As far as bad news goes, I do realise that this is nothing, but it's bad enough. I'm in work on Sunday, so rather than my earnings going towards my ticket, we now know that it has a new home.
After my trip to have my car diagnosed, I came home... so tired. Anyway, I decided I needed an hour of TV to unwind before bed and so I watched some pre-recorded "Sex and the City." I love this show. It's one of my favourites, ever. I actually came across an episode I don't remember watching before, it's the one were Miranda's Mother died. It was so funny in the main, but so touching, (Samantha didn't know how to deal with the grief she was feeling so she of course, turned to sex... except that she had lost her mojo.) The episode was so well written, funny, raw and realistic, just, exceptionally moving and a brilliant piece of television history, that is one talented crew. I laughed, I cried, an exceptional episode; "My Motherboard, My Self."
I always try to look on the bright side but good things happen so rarely, that when something good happens, like the job offer, I am constantly looking behind me and waiting for something bad to bite me on the behind. I remember finding out the last time I'd been promoted, and thinking I'd crash on the way home.
Anyway, I've been looking behind me and waiting, since I learnt that I have the life changing job, surely there must be some price to pay? Tuesday, I noticed a new and strange, tinny sound coming from my car as I backed it out of the garage at 5.30am. Same Wednesday, didn't notice it Thursday, Friday... today, it's got worse, I actually thought the exhaust pipe was trailing along the road, such was the scraping and voluminous noise emitting from my undercarriage.
After a swift phone call to J, she phoned straight back to say, drive over and let G, my dear brother-in -law take a look. News was not what I had hoped for. The middle section needs replacing and cannot be fixed or patched up. I don't get paid for another week so while I am driving around, the exhaust may or may not fall off. This will help my blood pressure, no end.
As far as bad news goes, I do realise that this is nothing, but it's bad enough. I'm in work on Sunday, so rather than my earnings going towards my ticket, we now know that it has a new home.
After my trip to have my car diagnosed, I came home... so tired. Anyway, I decided I needed an hour of TV to unwind before bed and so I watched some pre-recorded "Sex and the City." I love this show. It's one of my favourites, ever. I actually came across an episode I don't remember watching before, it's the one were Miranda's Mother died. It was so funny in the main, but so touching, (Samantha didn't know how to deal with the grief she was feeling so she of course, turned to sex... except that she had lost her mojo.) The episode was so well written, funny, raw and realistic, just, exceptionally moving and a brilliant piece of television history, that is one talented crew. I laughed, I cried, an exceptional episode; "My Motherboard, My Self."
Announcing to Work
So, I've known for a few days about my job offer, but I was waiting for the official paperwork, (via email,) to come through, before I announced my news in work, to everyone. The paperwork was so slow coming through, I had only told my Manager, my senior Manager and two of my closest friends in work. By Thursday, my manager, and friend told me I really should tell everyone, they, (my team mates,) would be upset if I didn't tell them and just disappeared. Which I must add, was never my intention but I hate fuss over me, I have an aversion to being the centre of attention, (which I know is very un Leo like,) but that's just me, even my own birthday is slightly uncomfortable... because it's all about me.
Anyway, I told them... my team, and of course, news spread like wild fire around the department. Everyone was both happy for me, shocked and intrigued at how I'd come across the job. It was lovely though and I could not stop smiling for days.
I have since found out about my new contract and, the fact that I won't get my new contract for 6 weeks AFTER I start the new job, well I'm trying not to let that freak me out but let me tell you, my controlling self is not doing well with this revelation. What will my salary be? (It will be roughly what I'm on now but I need exact figures.) How many days holiday do I get? What will happen with my pension? Do they have flexi time? What exactly will my job be? Apparently, this is all on a need to know basis, and I don't need to know until 6 weeks in. Cannot tell you how far this is pushing me.
I'm still floating in a cloud of happy disbelief, I have two more weeks left in work, as I know it, before the next chapter begins.
Anyway, I told them... my team, and of course, news spread like wild fire around the department. Everyone was both happy for me, shocked and intrigued at how I'd come across the job. It was lovely though and I could not stop smiling for days.
I have since found out about my new contract and, the fact that I won't get my new contract for 6 weeks AFTER I start the new job, well I'm trying not to let that freak me out but let me tell you, my controlling self is not doing well with this revelation. What will my salary be? (It will be roughly what I'm on now but I need exact figures.) How many days holiday do I get? What will happen with my pension? Do they have flexi time? What exactly will my job be? Apparently, this is all on a need to know basis, and I don't need to know until 6 weeks in. Cannot tell you how far this is pushing me.
I'm still floating in a cloud of happy disbelief, I have two more weeks left in work, as I know it, before the next chapter begins.
Monday, 17 September 2012
When Sally Said Goodbye...the Sequel
So, yes. After breaking up months ago and getting back together and spending a lovely evening together last night... we broke up... for good this time.
It was mutual and friendly of the, "keep in touch, no hard feelings variety," I honestly, wish him happy, I would hate to think of him going through life not happy.
So, I'm okay so far. A bit sad. Probably get more sad over the next few days. I know it's for the best though, and better break up now, after 14 months, than after 2, 3 years, that would have been harder.
I am a huge believer in fate and I thought that God had brought him back into my life after around 26 years, for a reason, but maybe not.
I keep thinking of Carrie and Big, and the on again off again saga that ran for 10 years, more than 10 actually. While there is passion and humour and connection, there will not be any happy ever afters in this love story, just not meant to be.
It was fun while it lasted and I will miss him and think of him fondly, forever.... the end.
It was mutual and friendly of the, "keep in touch, no hard feelings variety," I honestly, wish him happy, I would hate to think of him going through life not happy.
So, I'm okay so far. A bit sad. Probably get more sad over the next few days. I know it's for the best though, and better break up now, after 14 months, than after 2, 3 years, that would have been harder.
I am a huge believer in fate and I thought that God had brought him back into my life after around 26 years, for a reason, but maybe not.
I keep thinking of Carrie and Big, and the on again off again saga that ran for 10 years, more than 10 actually. While there is passion and humour and connection, there will not be any happy ever afters in this love story, just not meant to be.
It was fun while it lasted and I will miss him and think of him fondly, forever.... the end.
Saturday, 15 September 2012
One Elle of a Bargain
I was off on Friday and on Thursday night, I slept for 10 hours, ridiculous huh? I got up... dawn had already... dawned, jogged for 12 minutes, did abs work for 8 minutes, (neck was straining so cut short the 12 minute workout,) had breakfast and hit the shower in between fielding BF trouble texts from a friend, you see? I can multitask at any time of day.
I'm off today... hence the 10 hours sleep, and so I headed out for coffee. Today, I had a celebratory skinny capp rather than my usual Pike filter with skinny foam, oh yes, I know how to live the high life.
So after a little shopping, couldn't resist hitting Elle Macpherson Intimates since I washed most of my utility/work bras a lovely grey colour the other week. Spotted a gorgeous, lacy bra which fits perfectly, started out at £41, got it for £5.00, what a bargain. After that, I recycled, bought bread and topped up tyres with air, then moved on to the supermarket near home for bell peppers, eggs and blueberries.
Noon until 3pm was filled with housework. It took two rounds of Adele's "21" on my iPod to just about get me through the cleaning and tidying, then I stuck in a DVD and hit the ironing before heading out to Mandie for a little waxing. She is so good.
I returned home to a congratulations card and a celebratory bottle of wine hidden under a bush in the garden, they were from B who was heading out to friends for the weekend, the card is lovely, well, the card is pretty plain but the hand written sentiment inside is just lovely.
I'm off today... hence the 10 hours sleep, and so I headed out for coffee. Today, I had a celebratory skinny capp rather than my usual Pike filter with skinny foam, oh yes, I know how to live the high life.
So after a little shopping, couldn't resist hitting Elle Macpherson Intimates since I washed most of my utility/work bras a lovely grey colour the other week. Spotted a gorgeous, lacy bra which fits perfectly, started out at £41, got it for £5.00, what a bargain. After that, I recycled, bought bread and topped up tyres with air, then moved on to the supermarket near home for bell peppers, eggs and blueberries.
Noon until 3pm was filled with housework. It took two rounds of Adele's "21" on my iPod to just about get me through the cleaning and tidying, then I stuck in a DVD and hit the ironing before heading out to Mandie for a little waxing. She is so good.
I returned home to a congratulations card and a celebratory bottle of wine hidden under a bush in the garden, they were from B who was heading out to friends for the weekend, the card is lovely, well, the card is pretty plain but the hand written sentiment inside is just lovely.
Friday, 14 September 2012
Result
Wednesday around 5pm, in the midst of getting ready to meet up with the girls, I got a phone call. The job interview I went to last Wednesday, well... I got it. Can you believe it? I was stunned, totally and utterly. Really did not expect to get it and didn't dare hope because it would be life changing. My days of getting up at 4am on a regular basis anyway, are soon to be over and my commute will be cut down from 1.5 - 2 hours to 20 minutes max, and I'm probably over estimating for good measure.
So I start my next chapter, my new adventure, on 8th October, 5 years and 8 months, almost to the day, after the last one began. I know that I'll be nervous on the day, but I'm more excited to be learning something new, being challenged, at least for a while, and most of all, I'm so excited to have a more normal life. I'm already planning my workouts and looking at local exercise classes.
I have no idea at the moment, when my days will start and finish, but I do know, without a shadow of a doubt, that my alarm will not be ringing at 3.50am every morning. Can't tell you how happy I am x
So I start my next chapter, my new adventure, on 8th October, 5 years and 8 months, almost to the day, after the last one began. I know that I'll be nervous on the day, but I'm more excited to be learning something new, being challenged, at least for a while, and most of all, I'm so excited to have a more normal life. I'm already planning my workouts and looking at local exercise classes.
I have no idea at the moment, when my days will start and finish, but I do know, without a shadow of a doubt, that my alarm will not be ringing at 3.50am every morning. Can't tell you how happy I am x
Our Girls... the Catch Up
It's been a long, long time. Even for me, it's been 9 months since I last met up with Our Girls. We've all known each other for around 20 years, some a little shorter, some a little longer, but we all gelled like it was meant to be. You knew D before, but other than that... you have to admit that the Universe put us all together. Well, you're not here so you can't argue with me ;) Trust me, it was the Universe.
We all met at 7.30, Sheila was poorly with flu and I really missed having her there. In attendance were of course A & T, Sue, D and Andrea, who I haven't seen for years. It was great to be in everyones company, conversation mainly revolved around all of the kids, you know how quickly they grow up and change and of course many photographs were shown, it was lovely to see them all looking so grown up... even the littlest one in matching togs, looking cute with his big brother.
A is having a fancy dress birthday party 26th October. You can imagine I'm traumatised, it's bad enough me finding a normal outfit, it'll be Halloween, I think sexy witch is unachievable so I'll just go with an ugly one I think. S has advised me to hit the charity shops, so that's what I'll be doing.
We played for an hour at the pub quiz then I had to beat a retreat because of work on Thursday, I managed to net at least 5 hours sleep and surprisingly, didn't feel too terrible the next morning.
Sent Sheila a text the next day to see how she was doing... better, but still poorly.
We all met at 7.30, Sheila was poorly with flu and I really missed having her there. In attendance were of course A & T, Sue, D and Andrea, who I haven't seen for years. It was great to be in everyones company, conversation mainly revolved around all of the kids, you know how quickly they grow up and change and of course many photographs were shown, it was lovely to see them all looking so grown up... even the littlest one in matching togs, looking cute with his big brother.
A is having a fancy dress birthday party 26th October. You can imagine I'm traumatised, it's bad enough me finding a normal outfit, it'll be Halloween, I think sexy witch is unachievable so I'll just go with an ugly one I think. S has advised me to hit the charity shops, so that's what I'll be doing.
We played for an hour at the pub quiz then I had to beat a retreat because of work on Thursday, I managed to net at least 5 hours sleep and surprisingly, didn't feel too terrible the next morning.
Sent Sheila a text the next day to see how she was doing... better, but still poorly.
Tuesday, 11 September 2012
BP, and I don't mean British Petroleum
So, my blood pressure is high again. Last time it was this high, I was working two jobs and about to head over to you, remember? I was really worried they would say I couldn't fly.
It got taken last week and I poo pooed it and explained that jeez, it's always high when it's taken at the surgery, (isn't every ones?) But, apparently, I now have to call in at the BP clinic sometime over the next two weeks... just to see. Well I can tell you now, I'll fail, it will be high and if I have another day in work like today, they may lock me in the surgery and throw away the key.
Tuesday and the drive to work was horrendous, the rain was so torrential, I couldn't see the lines in the road, thankfully, there isn't much traffic at my time in the morning. Tuesday was pretty full on in work too and only marginally less stressful than Monday. I'm calm and serene for the most part, we're talking weeks... months on end, and then something tips me over the edge and I snap, blow up like a volcano... you know the story. Well, I well and truly snapped yesterday and my chest was still tight this morning, by noon, I had chest pains but I'm hoping that was wind. I know, I shouldn't make a joke, it could be something serious, but I just think it's work being full on at the moment and frustrating as hell.
So, guess where I am tomorrow night, Wednesday night? I'm meeting our girls for something to eat and a huge, 9 month catch up. I know, in almost 20 years, this is the longest we've gone without dinner, a laugh and a catch up. I also know that you'd love to be here or at the very least, a fly on the wall ;) I wish you were here too. I will tell all... very soon. Love you x
It got taken last week and I poo pooed it and explained that jeez, it's always high when it's taken at the surgery, (isn't every ones?) But, apparently, I now have to call in at the BP clinic sometime over the next two weeks... just to see. Well I can tell you now, I'll fail, it will be high and if I have another day in work like today, they may lock me in the surgery and throw away the key.
Tuesday and the drive to work was horrendous, the rain was so torrential, I couldn't see the lines in the road, thankfully, there isn't much traffic at my time in the morning. Tuesday was pretty full on in work too and only marginally less stressful than Monday. I'm calm and serene for the most part, we're talking weeks... months on end, and then something tips me over the edge and I snap, blow up like a volcano... you know the story. Well, I well and truly snapped yesterday and my chest was still tight this morning, by noon, I had chest pains but I'm hoping that was wind. I know, I shouldn't make a joke, it could be something serious, but I just think it's work being full on at the moment and frustrating as hell.
So, guess where I am tomorrow night, Wednesday night? I'm meeting our girls for something to eat and a huge, 9 month catch up. I know, in almost 20 years, this is the longest we've gone without dinner, a laugh and a catch up. I also know that you'd love to be here or at the very least, a fly on the wall ;) I wish you were here too. I will tell all... very soon. Love you x
Monday, 10 September 2012
Dating Dilemas
Someone very close to me, has signed up for some dating sites. Not that they need any assistance, they are handsome, sociable, can talk their way out of a paper bag, tall, broad, and they are both a hopeless romantic and incredibly impatient, and despite my calming and soothing words to attempt to slow things down, said, dearest person, has chosen to ignore me, as do most people I know, and instead, they have plunged headlong into the "singles" phenom. I do realise this is stretching the boundaries of a fully formed sentence.
Well, this person's bravery has got me thinking. The one person who knows me best in all of the world, is me, you do come a very close second sweetie and some would argue, that you would win Gold. Anyway, when a couple of our friends have, in the past, suggested that I sign up to dating sites, (because their really good friends have found everlasting love on there,) they think I should sign up too as they are desperate to pair me off, and, as a bonus, they would come with me, incognito... on the date. Are you feeling the stress yet?
I'll tell you, what I have told them. I am a magnet for psychopaths, child molesters, and the slightly, or not so slightly deranged. I have the history and the scars to prove it.
Still, with my special persons infectious optimism and open heart, I cannot help but wonder.
If you are wondering if my dodgy magnetism is on the wane, then the answer is no, it isn't. As close as Thursday of this week, I asked a supermarket employee, if the recycling bins would be making a return after an absence of a few weeks. "No, my fair lady, I am sorry to disappoint you, but they will not be returning." Which was fine, except that he spoke the whole time... to my breasts. Do you see what I mean? Magnet.
Half of my brain wonders what the excitement and exhilaration would be like, yet my logical and pessimistic self, (who is quietly wagging an all knowing finger at me,) knows what the outcome would be, and I would end up with the one psychopath who had joined the dating agency.
Weighing up the pros and cons, I think I'd be better to die alone and to leave the dating up to my brave, optimistic and darling... nearest and dearest, and I will happily dance at their wedding and I'll be the one wearing killer heels, and a fabulous frock.
Well, this person's bravery has got me thinking. The one person who knows me best in all of the world, is me, you do come a very close second sweetie and some would argue, that you would win Gold. Anyway, when a couple of our friends have, in the past, suggested that I sign up to dating sites, (because their really good friends have found everlasting love on there,) they think I should sign up too as they are desperate to pair me off, and, as a bonus, they would come with me, incognito... on the date. Are you feeling the stress yet?
I'll tell you, what I have told them. I am a magnet for psychopaths, child molesters, and the slightly, or not so slightly deranged. I have the history and the scars to prove it.
Still, with my special persons infectious optimism and open heart, I cannot help but wonder.
If you are wondering if my dodgy magnetism is on the wane, then the answer is no, it isn't. As close as Thursday of this week, I asked a supermarket employee, if the recycling bins would be making a return after an absence of a few weeks. "No, my fair lady, I am sorry to disappoint you, but they will not be returning." Which was fine, except that he spoke the whole time... to my breasts. Do you see what I mean? Magnet.
Half of my brain wonders what the excitement and exhilaration would be like, yet my logical and pessimistic self, (who is quietly wagging an all knowing finger at me,) knows what the outcome would be, and I would end up with the one psychopath who had joined the dating agency.
Weighing up the pros and cons, I think I'd be better to die alone and to leave the dating up to my brave, optimistic and darling... nearest and dearest, and I will happily dance at their wedding and I'll be the one wearing killer heels, and a fabulous frock.
Saturday, 8 September 2012
Blue Valentine
I had a lovely sleep. I slept through the night again and I woke early... again. All of this extra sleep is great, but playing havoc with my back, it does not cope well with being in bed for too long, or maybe I need a new mattress.
Yesterday, was supposed to be shopping and blitz the housework day. In actuality, I decided to pace myself, (at a pretty leisurely pace, I punctuated catch up phone calls and emails, in between housework.) Needless to say, I did not make a great deal of headway on the housework front.
So, I'm feeling really chilled. Didn't realise it until today, but I've been pretty tightly wound for a good few weeks now and I've been running on empty too, at least in the sleep department. Today, for the first time in a while, I feel like I can breathe deeply, it's refreshing and invigorating.
And so, I spend the day pretending to do housework and round it off with film night. I'm watching Blue Valentine for the first time. No prizes for guessing how much I like Mr Gosling. I haven't seen this film before but, as to be expected from a Mr Gosling film, it is full of integrity, great story, great drama, brilliant performances from both he and Michelle Williams, just excellent. It's no walk in the park so if you haven't seen it before, don't expect an easy ride, it's all, pure, raw acting telling an unvarnished story.
Yesterday, was supposed to be shopping and blitz the housework day. In actuality, I decided to pace myself, (at a pretty leisurely pace, I punctuated catch up phone calls and emails, in between housework.) Needless to say, I did not make a great deal of headway on the housework front.
So, I'm feeling really chilled. Didn't realise it until today, but I've been pretty tightly wound for a good few weeks now and I've been running on empty too, at least in the sleep department. Today, for the first time in a while, I feel like I can breathe deeply, it's refreshing and invigorating.
And so, I spend the day pretending to do housework and round it off with film night. I'm watching Blue Valentine for the first time. No prizes for guessing how much I like Mr Gosling. I haven't seen this film before but, as to be expected from a Mr Gosling film, it is full of integrity, great story, great drama, brilliant performances from both he and Michelle Williams, just excellent. It's no walk in the park so if you haven't seen it before, don't expect an easy ride, it's all, pure, raw acting telling an unvarnished story.
Friday, 7 September 2012
Prince Harry
You may, or may not have heard about the Prince Harry - Las Vegas debacle. Well, apparently, what happens in Vegas, does not actually stay in Vegas.
I'm a Brit, I'm a Royalist, but not for the sake of it, the Royals have to earn their stripes as far as I'm concerned, Prince Harry has more than earned his.
My darling nephew CJ kind of summed up the most recent debacle. Prince Harry has grown up in the Royal limelight. Some would argue that he lost his darling Mother, due to the press or public interest in her private life, who knows?
Prince Harry serves Queen and Country as do thousands of admirable males and females. Isn't everyone allowed to let their hair down sometimes? I would say so. Should everyone be allowed at least 5% off the radar? I would argue at least 5%.
My darling nephew, who, if he were in Harry's position, I would die defending, he argued that to represent Queen and Country, serve active duty, appear naked in the worlds press, then he deserves to be King.
Well, thankfully, I can patrol my darling nephew's thoughts and no CJ, Prince William is next, and rightfully in line to the throne, but I do know what he means and I'm proud that he's upfront enough to support a fellow, young man, who has so far, given his privacy for his country, and it seems, he continues to do so.
Prince Harry has now resumed his role as a helicopter pilot on active duty in Afghanistan. May his God go with him and may he and his comrades, all return home safe.
Some things should remain sacred, the Sun "news"paper, you should be ashamed.
I'm a Brit, I'm a Royalist, but not for the sake of it, the Royals have to earn their stripes as far as I'm concerned, Prince Harry has more than earned his.
My darling nephew CJ kind of summed up the most recent debacle. Prince Harry has grown up in the Royal limelight. Some would argue that he lost his darling Mother, due to the press or public interest in her private life, who knows?
Prince Harry serves Queen and Country as do thousands of admirable males and females. Isn't everyone allowed to let their hair down sometimes? I would say so. Should everyone be allowed at least 5% off the radar? I would argue at least 5%.
My darling nephew, who, if he were in Harry's position, I would die defending, he argued that to represent Queen and Country, serve active duty, appear naked in the worlds press, then he deserves to be King.
Well, thankfully, I can patrol my darling nephew's thoughts and no CJ, Prince William is next, and rightfully in line to the throne, but I do know what he means and I'm proud that he's upfront enough to support a fellow, young man, who has so far, given his privacy for his country, and it seems, he continues to do so.
Prince Harry has now resumed his role as a helicopter pilot on active duty in Afghanistan. May his God go with him and may he and his comrades, all return home safe.
Some things should remain sacred, the Sun "news"paper, you should be ashamed.
Arm Lock Anyone?
Monday, slept late, totally decadent, it's a work day and here I am, lounging around until 6.30am in my pit. Reason being, I'm on a personal safety training course today and I don't need to leave home until around 8am.
The course is going to be pretty physical and you have to wear leggings, joggers or some such like. I dig out my leggings. I haven't worn leggings for about 3 years which was the last time I went to a Pilate's class. I forgot how naked you feel in them, so I then spend 10 extra minutes trying to find a t-shirt long enough so that I don't feel like I'm parading everything I have to the world. So I'm late leaving but after some hairy moments, I find the place with the help of my sat nav and sexy Sean, the calming Irish voice who talks me through the journey. I arrive on time, just about, at the army barracks, drive through the gates and so the day really begins.
We have three trainers, all are from the division I work for but some are ex-army. It's quite scary, I can't remember ever raising my voice... to anyone, I am a quiet person and loud is not in my nature, nor is pummelling seven bells out of anyone, yet, for this, and to protect myself in the future, I need to be loud and potentially... strike.
We are talked through various scenarios and we do of course have to participate.
Day One and after a lecture and some physical training, of the trainers has me put him in a straight arm lock. I think I have the correct positioning, he is bent over as if in the correct position. "What is this called?" The trainer asks me and I rack my brains for the right answer, is it a straight arm lock? A locked arm bar? "This is nothing, is it?" "No" I reply. I am pretty rubbish.
I have needed to defend myself before now, but at the time, I had no clue. Now, I'm asked to be the instigator of force, and well, we know that it's just not me. Maybe with one to one training for a few days I would get it down, but I can't see that it's going to happen.
I get home and throw everything I have worn on Monday and remnants of Sunday's wardrobe in the wash and hang it out on the line when it's done, hoping that whatever hot air remains, will stick around long enough to 80% dry the washing, should I want to wear it again tomorrow.
I venture into the garden to approach the washing line and I peak around the bend to wonder at the wilderness that is my garden. With the almost incessant rain and some sunshine, all things garden have had growth spurt after growth spurt. The left hand side of the garden looks wild, but pretty, but then I notice the tree at the bottom of the garden, well, it's branches are starting to reach over the fence into next doors garden.
So there I am, in my undies and PJ top with long armed loppers leaping up and down trying to catch a branch between the pincers of the loppers. Thank heavens it's pretty secluded and no one can see me, hopefully. I manage to grab a few small branches and claw back all that is infiltrating next door.
Tuesday, back on the course and we learn some emergency skills in the first half of the morning, CPR, recovery position, what to do if someone is bleeding, in shock etc. We then move on to how to strike someone if you need to, how to block a tackle, (you think I'm making this up, don't you?) How to recover if you're knocked to the floor, how to bring someone down if need be. We then finished with a written test and a role play scenario where all manner of things happened which we, in teams of three, had to deal with.
I hurt just about everywhere, I don't think I've got every move down but I do feel far more able to take care of myself now than I did before and if I ever found myself in danger again, I wouldn't think, "there's nothing I can do," if there is a next time, well, I can do plenty.
I get home, shower, have something quick to eat then I have a doctor's appointment, I actually go in early which is almost unheard of. My blood pressure is high but I explain that not only is it usually high when it's checked at the clinic and fine at home, but I've been in combative training all day which probably hasn't helped.
I am exhausted, tomorrow, is interview day.
The course is going to be pretty physical and you have to wear leggings, joggers or some such like. I dig out my leggings. I haven't worn leggings for about 3 years which was the last time I went to a Pilate's class. I forgot how naked you feel in them, so I then spend 10 extra minutes trying to find a t-shirt long enough so that I don't feel like I'm parading everything I have to the world. So I'm late leaving but after some hairy moments, I find the place with the help of my sat nav and sexy Sean, the calming Irish voice who talks me through the journey. I arrive on time, just about, at the army barracks, drive through the gates and so the day really begins.
We have three trainers, all are from the division I work for but some are ex-army. It's quite scary, I can't remember ever raising my voice... to anyone, I am a quiet person and loud is not in my nature, nor is pummelling seven bells out of anyone, yet, for this, and to protect myself in the future, I need to be loud and potentially... strike.
We are talked through various scenarios and we do of course have to participate.
Day One and after a lecture and some physical training, of the trainers has me put him in a straight arm lock. I think I have the correct positioning, he is bent over as if in the correct position. "What is this called?" The trainer asks me and I rack my brains for the right answer, is it a straight arm lock? A locked arm bar? "This is nothing, is it?" "No" I reply. I am pretty rubbish.
I have needed to defend myself before now, but at the time, I had no clue. Now, I'm asked to be the instigator of force, and well, we know that it's just not me. Maybe with one to one training for a few days I would get it down, but I can't see that it's going to happen.
I get home and throw everything I have worn on Monday and remnants of Sunday's wardrobe in the wash and hang it out on the line when it's done, hoping that whatever hot air remains, will stick around long enough to 80% dry the washing, should I want to wear it again tomorrow.
I venture into the garden to approach the washing line and I peak around the bend to wonder at the wilderness that is my garden. With the almost incessant rain and some sunshine, all things garden have had growth spurt after growth spurt. The left hand side of the garden looks wild, but pretty, but then I notice the tree at the bottom of the garden, well, it's branches are starting to reach over the fence into next doors garden.
So there I am, in my undies and PJ top with long armed loppers leaping up and down trying to catch a branch between the pincers of the loppers. Thank heavens it's pretty secluded and no one can see me, hopefully. I manage to grab a few small branches and claw back all that is infiltrating next door.
Tuesday, back on the course and we learn some emergency skills in the first half of the morning, CPR, recovery position, what to do if someone is bleeding, in shock etc. We then move on to how to strike someone if you need to, how to block a tackle, (you think I'm making this up, don't you?) How to recover if you're knocked to the floor, how to bring someone down if need be. We then finished with a written test and a role play scenario where all manner of things happened which we, in teams of three, had to deal with.
I hurt just about everywhere, I don't think I've got every move down but I do feel far more able to take care of myself now than I did before and if I ever found myself in danger again, I wouldn't think, "there's nothing I can do," if there is a next time, well, I can do plenty.
I get home, shower, have something quick to eat then I have a doctor's appointment, I actually go in early which is almost unheard of. My blood pressure is high but I explain that not only is it usually high when it's checked at the clinic and fine at home, but I've been in combative training all day which probably hasn't helped.
I am exhausted, tomorrow, is interview day.
Thursday, 6 September 2012
Wisteria Close
I am no gardener, as you know. But I do love flowers and thanks to the lovely, calamitous and very entertaining ladies of Wisteria Lane, I became familiar with the equally lovely, Wisteria plant.
B gave me an I.O.U. for a bush/plant for my birthday of 2011. Quite far into 2012, I told B that I'd quite like a Wisteria and lo and behold, that's what I got this August.
It's in it's pot and it's about 2 feet high, and just green and I love it. I can't wait to see it flower... if I can keep it alive for that long. I'm not sure where to put it and I'm worried about making the wrong decision. I hope it will be happy on my patio.
Since I first wrote this... about 12 hours ago, it's taken a turn for the worst. It's been so rainy, and it looked so robust, I didn't think it would need to be watered, but as I peered out of the patio window yesterday, it looked slightly withered and on closer inspection, the leaves were dry. I watered with two large jugs of aqua last night and one this morning, and it looks as though it's 95% recovered. Can't believe I came this close to killing it... this soon.
Anyway, it looks like this for now,
Eventually, I'm hoping it looks like this;
Pretty huh? Watch this space x
B gave me an I.O.U. for a bush/plant for my birthday of 2011. Quite far into 2012, I told B that I'd quite like a Wisteria and lo and behold, that's what I got this August.
It's in it's pot and it's about 2 feet high, and just green and I love it. I can't wait to see it flower... if I can keep it alive for that long. I'm not sure where to put it and I'm worried about making the wrong decision. I hope it will be happy on my patio.
Since I first wrote this... about 12 hours ago, it's taken a turn for the worst. It's been so rainy, and it looked so robust, I didn't think it would need to be watered, but as I peered out of the patio window yesterday, it looked slightly withered and on closer inspection, the leaves were dry. I watered with two large jugs of aqua last night and one this morning, and it looks as though it's 95% recovered. Can't believe I came this close to killing it... this soon.
Anyway, it looks like this for now,
Eventually, I'm hoping it looks like this;
Pretty huh? Watch this space x
Australia, the Film
I have no TV as you know, I'm in between providers, I really must get on the blower and sort something out. Anyway, it hasn't been too much of a hardship although I am missing the Paralympics which I'll have to try to catch up on the iPlayer.
I've been watching / semi watching my DVDs, last night and then tonight, it's been the turn of "Australia," the Baz Luhrmann epic. I really love this film. It really is an epic story, I love that Nicole Kidman is so comedic in this role, in the beginning anyway. I don't think she plays for laughs, she is so totally over-the-top straight, it's comical and she's obviously not afraid to be laughed at, she is brilliant. Hugh Jackman is a sight for sore eyes, not only his physical presence, but he is a throw back to the "leading men" of the golden age of cinema, he reminds you of the Gregory Peck's, the Cary Grant's, the John Wayne's, it's refreshing to watch and gee whiz, they are in short supply these days.
And I know I've said it before, but the film ends with Elgar's "Nimrod," pure perfection.
Speaking of the art of film, I was really saddened to hear that Michael Clark Duncan had passed away at the age of 54 years. I remember watching "The Green Mile" at the cinema, and I sobbed, and I mean sobbed, my heart out. His career did not span decades but it didn't need to. I think his role in "The Green Mile" was equally memorable, defining and immortalising. He will not be forgotten.
Interview Day... the Prequel
It's Wednesday 5th September and, apart from feeling a bit stiff and sore from the past two days fisty cuffs, I feel pretty good. I've had so much sleep the past 3 nights and I've slept through the night too, first time for weeks.
I woke early this morning, around 5.30am, I just stayed in bed until my alarm went off at 6.30. I jogged for 15 minutes, felt great, stretched out my back which has been sorely neglected for weeks on end now, had cereal and toast for breakfast with butter and blackcurrant jam, de-lish.
Now I'm here in Starbucks and I've just read over my application form and notes ready for my interview this afternoon, interview is at 2pm and even though it's only 5 minutes away, I plan on leaving around 1.15pm, just to be on the safe side.
I've come out without a jacket but it's actually quite chilly. The sun is trying to shine, and I'm sitting here flicking through magazines and writing to you, it's all very leisurely and lovely, feels like so long since I've had the opportunity to do this.
I talk out loud on the drive home, spout my potential answers and practise my delivery. Back at home, I pace and talk some more for about 45 minutes before changing into my interview clothes and heading out the door. Of course, that large glass of water before I left was not the best idea, nothing I can do about that now.
So, that was yesterday and this is today, you know how it went. I'm just going to forget about it now and leave it all up to fate.
I woke early this morning, around 5.30am, I just stayed in bed until my alarm went off at 6.30. I jogged for 15 minutes, felt great, stretched out my back which has been sorely neglected for weeks on end now, had cereal and toast for breakfast with butter and blackcurrant jam, de-lish.
Now I'm here in Starbucks and I've just read over my application form and notes ready for my interview this afternoon, interview is at 2pm and even though it's only 5 minutes away, I plan on leaving around 1.15pm, just to be on the safe side.
I've come out without a jacket but it's actually quite chilly. The sun is trying to shine, and I'm sitting here flicking through magazines and writing to you, it's all very leisurely and lovely, feels like so long since I've had the opportunity to do this.
I talk out loud on the drive home, spout my potential answers and practise my delivery. Back at home, I pace and talk some more for about 45 minutes before changing into my interview clothes and heading out the door. Of course, that large glass of water before I left was not the best idea, nothing I can do about that now.
So, that was yesterday and this is today, you know how it went. I'm just going to forget about it now and leave it all up to fate.
Wednesday, 5 September 2012
Interview Day
Well, I pretty much waffled for England. I know that I gave at least one really good answer, didn't realise it was good until I was finished then thought, wow, I could not have made one up that good!
I said a few things which the panel of three nodded in agreement with, they were asides so I don't know if that counts for anything. Anyway, I felt like it could have gone better, but you can never tell with these things can you?
One member of the panel walked me out and I said I felt like I waffled, her reply was, "trust me, you didn't," but she may have just been being nice.
Anyway, I have to wait for 2 weeks now to hear as they are interviewing until the end of next week. At least I can forget about it for now, what will be, will be.
More of this day later, just wanted to get this out there x
I said a few things which the panel of three nodded in agreement with, they were asides so I don't know if that counts for anything. Anyway, I felt like it could have gone better, but you can never tell with these things can you?
One member of the panel walked me out and I said I felt like I waffled, her reply was, "trust me, you didn't," but she may have just been being nice.
Anyway, I have to wait for 2 weeks now to hear as they are interviewing until the end of next week. At least I can forget about it for now, what will be, will be.
More of this day later, just wanted to get this out there x
Sunday, 2 September 2012
September 1st
Can you believe it? The 1st? I can't. Don't feel like we have had a summer and all of a sudden, it's September, the month following my Leonine birthday month, (which I barely noticed this year,) and as we all know, September announces the beginning, or at least give you fair notice that Autumn is well on it's way, whether you are ready or not. The nights are drawing in, the mornings are already darker and before you know it, the leaves will be turning to shades of gold and orange and will be crunching under my feet.
I spent the 1st by firstly working overtime, as usual at the moment. I had then arranged to meet dear nephew CJ for a mini shopping expedition and general catch up. I have no idea if all men are like this but shopping with a man is a totally different kettle of fish to shopping with a woman. CJ at least, is quick to please and quick to decide. I choose for him, send him into changing rooms, he comes out to get my opinion and hey presto, we have a sale ladies and gentlemen. Same goes for cologne shopping. Do we need help? (the sprightly sales assistant asks.) Yes we do! I reply. She deftly asks CJ what he usually wears, deduces that he likes fresh but masculine scents and give us three to choose from. I veto one as it's too sweet for me, but leave CJ up to make his own decision. He chooses the one I would have chosen.
Two pairs of jeans and one cologne later and we're in Costa Coffee for a beverage, a little something to eat and a catch up.
I feel like death, hot, sweaty, tired and mentally drained after work, still, it is nice to catch up and I'm pretty sure my darling nephew doesn't care what I look like.
I get home, fall into the shower, devour a gorgeous, if I do say so myself stir-fry then catch up with my cousin L for an hour, it's been a busy week.
I manage to stay up until 9.30pm, a record for me at present and only the loud buzz and vibration of a "midge" close to my ear, disturbs me in the middle of the night. By 4.30am I'm wide awake and raring to go, fortunately, today... Sunday, my alarm does not need to go off until 5am, so I stay there and make the most of my sleep in.
I spent the 1st by firstly working overtime, as usual at the moment. I had then arranged to meet dear nephew CJ for a mini shopping expedition and general catch up. I have no idea if all men are like this but shopping with a man is a totally different kettle of fish to shopping with a woman. CJ at least, is quick to please and quick to decide. I choose for him, send him into changing rooms, he comes out to get my opinion and hey presto, we have a sale ladies and gentlemen. Same goes for cologne shopping. Do we need help? (the sprightly sales assistant asks.) Yes we do! I reply. She deftly asks CJ what he usually wears, deduces that he likes fresh but masculine scents and give us three to choose from. I veto one as it's too sweet for me, but leave CJ up to make his own decision. He chooses the one I would have chosen.
Two pairs of jeans and one cologne later and we're in Costa Coffee for a beverage, a little something to eat and a catch up.
I feel like death, hot, sweaty, tired and mentally drained after work, still, it is nice to catch up and I'm pretty sure my darling nephew doesn't care what I look like.
I get home, fall into the shower, devour a gorgeous, if I do say so myself stir-fry then catch up with my cousin L for an hour, it's been a busy week.
I manage to stay up until 9.30pm, a record for me at present and only the loud buzz and vibration of a "midge" close to my ear, disturbs me in the middle of the night. By 4.30am I'm wide awake and raring to go, fortunately, today... Sunday, my alarm does not need to go off until 5am, so I stay there and make the most of my sleep in.
Saturday, 1 September 2012
No TV
Due to my bug/lurgy, I unfortunately missed the opening of the Paralympics, but I will watch on the iPlayer. I heard Dr Stephen Hawking on the radio and his opening speech was nothing short of inspirational.
So, back to Friday and I'm home after having successfully purchased hair straighteners cheaper than expected, and after completing two tours of the supermarket, I can only manage a "small" trolley due to the depth of the big ones and lifting in and out etc, so I do one sweep, deposit in the car and go back to pick up more bottled water, then head home.
By the time I get home, I'm feeling slightly short of breath and a little overwhelmed. I have bills to pay... deadline today, cleaning, washing, ironing, dropping off to do. I decide to pay a bill and phone my cousin L, if she is free for a 10 minutes time out and to get my breath back.
My skin is terrible, I am hormonal to the extreme and I am on a personal safety training course on Monday and Tuesday... after normal work on Saturday and Sunday... do we really think I am in sane enough of mind to go on the PST on Monday???? If the course involves tackling someone to the ground, I think I'll win.
So I thankfully get to speak to L for a few minutes of calming chat. I pay the necessary bills, catch up on emails and texts and potter while I have on "Murder By Numbers," the one with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Gosling, did I tell you that I am in between TV providers? No? Well, I have no TV at present, so it's DVDs all the way. After "Murder By Numbers", I switch to "The Notebook", no prizes for noticing that a certain Mr Gosling stars in both films, I don't care.
So, "Murder By Numbers" is great and "The Notebook"? Well, I watch two thirds then sob through the final third, then rewind while I write to you and re-sob through the final third as I missed it first time around through all of the sobbing.
I burnt the front of my thigh last Monday, while ironing in shorts, I was all ready to warn you of the perils of ironing in shorts but then realised that you have probably done that for the past five years, give or take... without damaging yourself. Anyway, my burn is about 2.5cm long and is starting to dry out and stretch out and be a little sore.
So I go to bed with puffy eyes after the extended sobbing, and as is normal for weekends these days, I seem to wake every 40 minutes, thinking that it is time to get up. When my alarm finally goes off, (when I say alarm... I mean my three alarms, two clocks and one phone, so that I don't oversleep,) it is actually a relief to get up and finally start the day.
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