Dating Dilemas

Someone very close to me, has signed up for some dating sites.  Not that they need any assistance, they are handsome, sociable, can talk their way out of a paper bag, tall, broad, and they are both a hopeless romantic and incredibly impatient, and despite my calming and soothing words to attempt to slow things down, said, dearest person, has chosen to ignore me, as do most people I know, and instead, they have plunged headlong into the "singles" phenom.  I do realise this is stretching the boundaries of a fully formed sentence.

Well, this person's bravery has got me thinking.  The one person who knows me best in all of the world, is me, you do come a very close second sweetie and some would argue, that you would win Gold.  Anyway, when a couple of our friends have, in the past, suggested that I sign up to dating sites, (because their really good friends have found everlasting love on there,) they think I should sign up too as they are desperate to pair me off, and, as a bonus, they would come with me, incognito... on the date.  Are you feeling the stress yet?

I'll tell you, what I have told them.  I am a magnet for psychopaths, child molesters, and the slightly, or not so slightly deranged.  I have the history and the scars to prove it.

Still, with my special persons infectious optimism and open heart, I cannot help but wonder.

If you are wondering if my dodgy magnetism is on the wane, then the answer is no, it isn't.  As close as Thursday of this week, I asked a supermarket employee, if the recycling bins would be making a return after an absence of a few weeks.  "No, my fair lady, I am sorry to disappoint you, but they will not be returning."  Which was fine, except that he spoke the whole time... to my breasts.  Do you see what I mean?  Magnet.

Half of my brain wonders what the excitement and exhilaration would be like, yet my logical and pessimistic self, (who is quietly wagging an all knowing finger at me,) knows what the outcome would be, and I would end up with the one psychopath who had joined the dating agency.

Weighing up the pros and cons, I think I'd be better to die alone and to leave the dating up to my brave, optimistic and darling... nearest and dearest, and I will happily dance at their wedding and I'll be the one wearing killer heels, and a fabulous frock.