Family

It's Sunday, and in light of recent events, I have made an extra effort in contacting those that are special to me.  One of those efforts, resulted in a phone call to my cousins N & I, I don't normally phone, I usually email. We chatted for over an hour, it was as if we saw each other yesterday and that not a moment more had passed since.  It was lovely.  We chatted about family and my new job and my 'love life,' such that it is.  Started talking to N, we chatted about all kinds then I got passed to I, she is so straight talking and so true, she always makes me think and laugh, she is a mirror, not necessarily a mirror you want to look into, but a mirror, non-the-less.

When I was little, I thought I came from a big family, truth is I don't.  Or, I don't now.  We are a small band, that fact alone should make us closer but it doesn't.  I've just counted and there are twenty three of us, that includes the lost souls who have joined the madhouse.  Enough to fill a small room you would think.

Truth is, because of family issues and disagreements, we'll never again be in the same room together, literally, at least not in my lifetime.  I love those twenty three and hope they each find peace.  Life is too short.  

So, where does that leave me?  I'm guessing that all I can do is tell the people that I love, that I love them.  It's not easy, I think, and I'm trying to gain some perspective here, for instance, my nephew is around 26 years old, gosh he'll kill me, I've only recently had this conversation with him, I seriously can't remember how old he is.  Anyhoo, my nephew, who is 26 or 27, grew up with his Mum and Dad telling him that they loved him, all the time.  I think my nephew was the first person to tell me that he loved me.  It was quite a moment.  It was awkward, I didn't know what to do with it, it was like a floating elephant hovering over a sentence that lasted forever.  But it's OK now.  My nephew and I tell each other we love each other all the time, and it's normal.

But what about the rest of the family?  Our relationships are not always easy, would I turn to them in an hour of need?  Not necessarily.  Do I love them?  I do. 

So, ten minutes ago, my darling nephew phoned me.  He was early for his date and nervous and so we chatted.  I gave the best pep talk I could muster and after announcing he had two weeks leave to take, we agreed we would have a cinema date sometime during that two weeks, then told each other... you know.

24 hours later and shocker, the date went well, well of course it did, I had every confidence.