This week, after recently, being lovingly yet undeniably reprimanded by certain people, via Ivy, I made a concerted effort on the healthy/clean living front. I'm not saying that it was easy, but it was more a case of mind over matter.
Wednesday, I went with a few others to visit a potential employer, it was actually a different branch, of the place that I left in October. The visit was very disappointing. Very little information and little hope.
I did however get a couple of emails the following day, from friends Mr O and Mr P, asking why I hadn't stopped by to visit them... on my visit. Truth was, we were herded around a different floor and with security, I couldn't have got to either of their floors anyway. It was nice to be missed though.
Thursday, I had a wobble. I'm surrounded by people doing so well, and then, there's me. I know that sounds like I have a touch of the green eyed monsters, but I am extremely happy for them all and I would not wish for them, anything else. I just feel useless and pointless at the moment, and a bit of a failure. Plus, I'm hormonal, which probably isn't helping.
I'm no longer dizzy from the blood pressure meds. I need to get an ECG and blood tests this week. With the building closing, work will officially declare me,"at risk" on September 2nd. I need to start applying for jobs immediately, need to continue keeping an eye on blood pressure but meds seem to be working... mostly. Need to end relationship. Blah blah blah.
I volunteered for overtime on Sunday, there has been an overtime ban for months and I thought this would pay for my new passport. By lunchtime I'd had a text to say that those in on Saturday had completed all the work so I wasn't needed on Sunday, no overtime = no passport. Such is my luck.
I keep getting knocked over and keep getting back up. I'm starting to think that I should take the hint and just stay down. What do you think?
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