Does Alone = Lonely?

31st January was date night and it was lovely.  Got me thinking of what could or could not be.  I suspect, in my case, it's a case of cannot, which is why I choose to live in those particular moments.

Conversely, a good and old friend asked me on the 31st, if I was lonely, being on my own.

When someone asks you a question like that, you know that they are asking for a reason, for their own reasons.  You are their friend and you want to be honest but, because you are their friend, you must give a guarded answer.  What you say, may influence their future.

I offer that, my initial reaction is "no", I'm fine, I'm not lonely.  Then I add that, someone close to me, who scoffs at my going out for coffee, (entering my regular coffee shop on a Saturday or Sunday morning, for me means human contact.)  She will talk endlessly if I call in or pick up the phone.  Despite contradiction, I feel this person is lonely too.

I'm in a hurry to get to my next appointment so the next day, I text to say that people in relationships can be lonely too.  You don't have to be alone to be lonely.  Don't be afraid of being lonely.  Easy for me to say, but I think I'd rather be lonely alone, than lonely, with someone.