Grey Area

I've just watched the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy, as you know, one of my all time, favourite TV Series, and in this episode, Ellis Grey's journals, may hold the key, they may be able to unlock information, for both Meredith and for another.  Ellis Grey is Meredith's Mother and passed away a few years ago leaving Meredith, among other things, a legacy of Alzheimer's and the life of a surgeon.

My Mum was also a writer, she wrote diaries, journals, for... I haven't actually counted but I'm guessing over fifty years.  She showed me this wonderful box one day, it was an ordinary, cardboard box,  but it was filled with time, with stories, with her words.  'When I'm gone, promise me you'll burn these.'  At this point I think she may have continued to say... 'without reading them.'  But I'm not certain, my memory is conveniently blurred.

I couldn't bring myself to destroy them, let alone to burn them.  To me, the written word is precious, I don't care what state it's in, if the grammar is correct, if the spelling is spot on, those words are from the heart.

A few months ago, I can't remember how it came up, but I was discussing Mum's journals with my cousin Lyn.  'Read them.'   What!?  Really, not what I expected my cousin to say.  'Read them.'

Does she have a point?  What the heck is in there?  There is so much that I don't know.  I do know that my Mum had a hard life, I do know that I was a late arrival and must have been quite a shock.  I do know that against the odds, she decided to keep me, no matter what, no matter how I turned out.

Is there anything I could read that I'd rather I hadn't?  Is there anything I could read that would make me feel differently about her? 

I think I should read on.