Winds of Change

Hurricane Gonzalo, originated in the Caribbean and blew over to Europe, causing havoc with my journey home.  On Tuesday, a 35 minute drive at best turned into 2 hours 15 minutes in gales with driving rain, road closures, very wobbly, insane cyclists to look out for. I was exhausted by the time I eventually got home, buy mostly, just glad that I made it home safely.

On Wednesday, I watched the last interview with one of our best loved actresses.  I suspect that Lynda Bellingham strongly disliked being best known for being 'The Oxo Mum'.  For about sixteen years, the Oxo family advert ran, it was a little glimpse into a family I never had and just, so normal, so reassuring, so fictitious.  Still, that advert bled into our hearts, just like the way that Christmas does.

So, Ms Bellingham is... Mother Christmas, all warm and fuzzy in my heart, part of my upbringing,  part of my social history, part of my reference material.  She was also a wonderful actress I might add.  Still, whether she would loathe it or not, Oxo Mum she is to me, with a very fond place in my heart.  Ms Bellingham was diagnosed with cancer just over a year ago and she sadly died this week.  The saddest part of the interview was that she was so funny and vibrant...still.  The interview was taped about two weeks away from when she was to leave us, she talked so fondly of Christmas and the plans that she had for next Christmas, just a few weeks away. 

I laughed and cried through the interview.  That night, I dreamt that I was given three months to live.  It's either a premonition or a by product of watching the interview.

The dream was very real, I mean, that it seemed real, with no hint of a dream.  I woke and had to think about reality versus the mighty Morpheus, for too long, seconds, but too long.  For a nano second, I thought about having just three months left to live.

I have to say that it was an eye opener.  In the past twelve months, I have wondered about not being around, just ceasing to be, I have to say that it seemed inviting.  Faced with the 'reality', such as it was, of being told that I only had three months left on planet Earth, my feelings notably shifted.