Family

It's Sunday, and in light of recent events, I have made an extra effort in contacting those that are special to me.  One of those efforts, resulted in a phone call to my cousins N & I, I don't normally phone, I usually email. We chatted for over an hour, it was as if we saw each other yesterday and that not a moment more had passed since.  It was lovely.  We chatted about family and my new job and my 'love life,' such that it is.  Started talking to N, we chatted about all kinds then I got passed to I, she is so straight talking and so true, she always makes me think and laugh, she is a mirror, not necessarily a mirror you want to look into, but a mirror, non-the-less.

When I was little, I thought I came from a big family, truth is I don't.  Or, I don't now.  We are a small band, that fact alone should make us closer but it doesn't.  I've just counted and there are twenty three of us, that includes the lost souls who have joined the madhouse.  Enough to fill a small room you would think.

Truth is, because of family issues and disagreements, we'll never again be in the same room together, literally, at least not in my lifetime.  I love those twenty three and hope they each find peace.  Life is too short.  

So, where does that leave me?  I'm guessing that all I can do is tell the people that I love, that I love them.  It's not easy, I think, and I'm trying to gain some perspective here, for instance, my nephew is around 26 years old, gosh he'll kill me, I've only recently had this conversation with him, I seriously can't remember how old he is.  Anyhoo, my nephew, who is 26 or 27, grew up with his Mum and Dad telling him that they loved him, all the time.  I think my nephew was the first person to tell me that he loved me.  It was quite a moment.  It was awkward, I didn't know what to do with it, it was like a floating elephant hovering over a sentence that lasted forever.  But it's OK now.  My nephew and I tell each other we love each other all the time, and it's normal.

But what about the rest of the family?  Our relationships are not always easy, would I turn to them in an hour of need?  Not necessarily.  Do I love them?  I do. 

So, ten minutes ago, my darling nephew phoned me.  He was early for his date and nervous and so we chatted.  I gave the best pep talk I could muster and after announcing he had two weeks leave to take, we agreed we would have a cinema date sometime during that two weeks, then told each other... you know.

24 hours later and shocker, the date went well, well of course it did, I had every confidence.

Exhausted

So my car exhaust is hanging on by a thread and it makes THE most dreadful rattle as I drive.  I am of course driving along, permanently looking in my rear view mirror to see if it's dropped off.

After spending the early afternoon with B in Ness, wandering around the beautiful and tranquil gardens, we arrive back at hers and I set off in my rattle-some car and head for dear nephews.  I arrive, after a mere few minutes traumatic journey and he greets me at the door.

"I'm having car trauma," I tell him as the front door opens.  "I know, I went to Chester this morning for the part."  How lucky am I?  Something that could easily render me car-less and therefore housebound, is taken care of because of darling nephew, dear brother-in-law and the glue.... my sister J.

So darling nephew makes me close my eyes, he covers them with one hand anyway then puts his other arm around me and guides me while I baby step through the hall.  He's decorated, well actually, that's an understatement.  His place has been transformed, I helped choose the new sofa and okay'd the colour scheme, but of course I've been working overtime for weeks and this is the first time I've seen the transformation.  It's wonderful, it's hi-tech, minimalistic, stylish, you can tell it's a modern bachelor pad but it's not so overly masculine that a very lucky young lady would not feel comfortable in the surroundings.  Job well done, I'm very proud of him.  So, two coffee's later, a demonstration of HD/3D television and it's time to drop my car off at my sister's ready for dear brother-in-law when he finishes work.  J drops me at home so that I can begin the ironing before I'm back in work tomorrow.

8.45pm and dear brother-in-law brings my car back home to me, took him 2 hours to get the old exhaust off and 20 minutes to get the new one one, bless him.  I appreciate his efforts so much and I hope he realises how much, I'm so lucky.

He drives the car into the garage, tells me one of the tyres has a wobble, (I know...) and that a side light is out... (I know, I was waiting to break the news to him.)

So pretty soon, I can head to bed with the hope of rising at 5am ready to go to work... to pay for the exhaust.

Bruised Heart

I slept like a log last night, (due to wine and other substances, nothing illegal, don't worry,) I woke surprisingly early.  I had breakfast, (yes, I'm back to having breakfast on a daily basis after a wobble of a few months.)  I jogged for 40 minutes, did 5 of toning, hit the shower and then spoke to you.  It was so great to chat this morning.  Thanks again for phoning.  I didn't expect you to get the email update so quickly.  Chatting on the phone this morning was almost as good as having you around the corner with a strong cup of coffee and a ready ear.  I know that you want me to be open and calm but I'm honestly done, and annoyed with myself for letting my guard down for a second.  My heart isn't broken, that happened 9 years ago.  I am happy as I am, you don't need to worry about me, but I am swearing off men, from this day forth.

After me telling you how bad the weather had been, the sun is actually shining just now.  After coffee and a substantial update with Fay, my friend who works here, I need to buy a birthday present for a friend in work, and a birthday card for JR.  I need to recycle, buy a bottle of medicinal wine, get fuel then head for my darling nephew CJ's for coffee, I've been invited, it's that cool?  He's my baby nephew and I can remember as clear as day, the day he was born and the first time I saw him, have to say, he's far more handsome now, even when he hasn't shaved.  He is a little battered and bruised also, but he'll be fine. 

The next time I write, I'll probably be in an airport lounge, with wine.  Happy Days.