The List... to be continued

Tell the special people in your life that they are special to you

Don't put off doing something because you think you're not good enough

Don't put off going anywhere because you think you won't fit it or look the part

Don't forgo applying for a job because you don't think you're qualified enough

Don't right anyone off without giving them a chance

Be as kind to yourself, as you are to others

Be open enough to let someone surprise you, it's a revelation

No matter what your age, don't think that you are too old to learn

Love the ones you have to let go and wish them the best, always

Love those you've lost and be glad they blessed your life.  They will always be part of your life


.... this list is subject to change, be warned.

Rom Com

It's Saturday.  I retired very early last night, I just couldn't keep my eyes open and I felt a bit blah, I just wanted the day to be over.  I'd no sooner gone to bed than J phoned, she'd had a hospital appointment.  As she hadn't even told me she had an appointment until she texted to say she was about to go in, I thought I'd better get up and phone back to see how she got on.  She obviously didn't want to talk about it as everything was; "fine."  B had said she might call in but didn't so I knew it was safe to disappear.  S then sent me a text, was I out?  No, I'm in bed, we'll catch up over the weekend, I don't usually like phoning S at the weekend as she has a big family and I always think of the weekend as family time, it's not for me.

Anyway, I slept well, I think I dreamt that I was home dying my hair?  Other than that, it was uneventful.  I didn't feel like jogging this morning but I did do a little toning.  I get to Starbucks and Fay thinks I've lost weight, I haven't, I've gained at least 2lbs of Maltesers but I think it's those sidekick things I've been doing, I've taken an inch off my hips in a week doing these things.  Think I should bring out a book on tried and tested strategies for the modern woman?  I can talk about all kinds from stir fry to spot reduction.

L has invited me to stay over tonight but I'm expecting B to arrive and want to tackle my garden, and if I put her off, she'll never speak to me again, plus, I don't feel like I'd be good company at present, I'm better on my own when I'm like this.

So I return home, we actually have a blue sky.  Not sure how long it will last.  I set about completing the ironing that I started yesterday, I'm ironing last weekends date clothes and pretty summer dresses that I unearthed in my wardrobe last weekend, which I know won't be wearing, they'll be washed and ironed and retired to my wardrobe for another 10 years.

There is nothing on TV and so I decide to opt for the favourite DVD option, of which there are many.  Did you know that all of my favourite DVDs are either rom coms or love stories?  I really need to find a favourite slasher movie or something nice and depressing.  So for now, it's "Hitch" that is keeping me company while I iron.  You can't beat Mr Will Smith, although Mr Ryan Gosling and Mr Jake Gyllenhaal would tie nicely, it would be rude to exclude, don't you think?

Torrential Rain

I have comfort eaten my way through the week, there were not enough Maltesers in the whole of the North West of England to cheer me up.  To try to counteract the Malteser after shock, I've been upping the toning every night, not sure it's worked though.

Work this week hasn't been too bad, lots of IT problems but while everyone around me seemed frustrated beyond belief, I just let it wash over me, what can you do?

Remember the old white haired man with the dog that says, "Morning Miss"?  Well he almost gave me a heart attack.  I was getting the car out of the garage around 5.25am on Thursday, got out of the car to close the garage door and I heard, "Morning!"  He'd walked past and waited for me at the next garden.  Hadn't seen him at all, so after a slight shock, I smile/grimaced and "morning'd" right back at him.  I didn't want to make him think he'd scared me.

I went to donate blood today, Thursday.  Hurt a bit due to scar tissue, I've been donating for 25 years now so it's only to be expected.  I can only put this down to enormous amounts of water, I drank about 1.5 litres of water before I went to donate, then they give you a big glass of water to drink while you fill out the paperwork and I gave my donation in 5 minutes 57 seconds, my own personal best.  You have to give in 15 minutes and usually, I have to squeeze a grippy tube to help pump the last remaining bit before the 15 minutes is up, otherwise, they can't use my donation.  One of the more mature nurses attended to me today, she's comforting, (even though she told me she took her cat to the wrong cattery while she went on holiday... easily done, I'm sure.)  She chatted to me the whole time and thanked me for coming, it's nice to see familiar faces when you go, reassuring.

I speak to a sister at night and she makes a passing jibe, which upsets me.  I don't get why people want to be nasty to each other, why go out of your way to be hurtful to another person?  I know that we can all say things when we're short on temper, which is bad enough, but at other times, do we have an excuse or are we just being a bitch?

It's Friday and I'm using a day's leave again.  I have a little bruise on my arm from yesterday, and it's a bit sore, but it's fine.  The rain is torrential and driving on the motorway is treacherous.  Visibility is very bad but thankfully everyone is keeping their speed down.  I park up, lock the car and I'm making a dash for it when I hear a garbled shout.  I turn back and see a woman sitting in a car.  Did she shout me?  I can't really see of course but I can make out that it's a dark haired woman and she's on her phone.  She waves and I'm wondering if someone is behind me, then she beckons for me to come back towards her car.  As I get nearer, I realise it's my friend Carol and I get in her car out of the rain. 

Carol finishes on the phone, explains what she's doing there (on way to Manchester but weather so bad and flood warnings for later so she diverted...) and then we head for coffee. 

We have a good catch up, I tell her the latest and she gives me a "tough love" talk, I know she's right, it's not like I haven't already gone through it in my own head, in every single permutation, it's just so depressing to hear.  Anyway, it was lovely to see Carol but I abandoned everything else I intended to do.

I then, in the torrential rain, went from one shop on my list to the next, not finding anything I needed and getting wetter with each trip.  By the time I got home, I was sodden, hair, clothing, shopping bags.   It's a really miserable day, weather wise.

When Sally Said Goodbye...

It's Sunday today and I was out last night to end a romance, yep... the one that ended a couple of weeks ago... this was the official ending, I know... don't ask.  We had a great time but it'll never work.  Hard, but necessary, I'm sad but resigned, just not meant to be, had a great night though, I'll miss him.  While chatting last night, we discovered that I used to work with his favourite Nan, approximately 24 years ago, small world eh?

Going to bed very late, I got around 3.5 hours sleep last night but still woke bright as a button, can't believe it's Sunday.  Didn't work out, feel a bit shell shocked, so instead, I browse the Internet and have cereal and coffee...and toast.  Got a lovely text from you so at least I know you're having a fab night.

I have two coffee's at Starbucks, it's very quiet and I'm perched with my iPod on with Adele singing heartbroken songs to me. 

I'm home by 11, just not in the mood for anything today, not even browsing the sales.  B arrives at 1.15pm and declares that if I don't want her to garden (can I just say that it is actually raining at this point,) then she'll leave.  I'm a bit stunned, probably because I'm not feeling particularly thick skinned today, so I say "okay," if gardening alone for several hours is more important than spending 5 minutes having a cuppa with me, then so be it.  Not sure if it was my; "okay" reaction but B stays for about 30 minutes before leaving, and after a tea... no gardening.

I watch; "When Harry Met Sally," his favourite film, which really didn't help matters.

That Girl's My World

"That Girl's My World."   This is a phrase that I heard many times as a child.  It was said in a jokey fashion with extra emphasis for dramatic effect.  I asked B today where that phrase came from after Googeling and drawing a blank.  I thought it had come from a song, (the nearest one I could think of was Cilla Black's "You're My World," or maybe it was a comidian's catch phrase but no, we don't know where it came from.  Regardless of where it came from, in those days, no one said; "I love You," so maybe this phrase was a way for that person to say, in an unselfconcsious way; "I love you."

Our conversation from last night, got me thinking, as I do with any significant conversation or happenings.  Life is short, whether that be 8, 80 or 800 years, even in the grand scheme of things, 800 years is but nothing when compared to time and space.

I wasn't raised in a house of, "I love you's."  It just wasn't done, not so much due to my age but because my Mum was of an older generation and for them, it definitely wasn't done, it was only after Mum died that I realised that she did infact love me, and that was only through my powers of deduction, it was just never spoken.

So I decided to make a list, I don't know when I'll publish this list becuase I think I'll have to change some of my deeply ingrained thinking to be perfectly honest, and I may well have a few arguments with myself over it.  The list is a; "to be continued..."

Having said that, number one on the list is to tell the special people in my life, that they are special to me.  Can there be any greater gift than telling someone that of 7 billion people on the planet, they are special and that they make a difference?

Watch This

http://youtu.be/aHrdy6qcumg  


I think this is genius, if you know anyone that smokes, send it to them.

Strictly Monday

It's Friday and the week has been odd. Monday night, J and I went to the Liverpool Philharmonic to see, "Dance to the Music," a live show featuring the BBC, Strictly Come Dancing Band, with dancing by Kristina Rihanoff, Robin, (Bobby) Windsor, Kara Tointon and Artem Chigvintsev.

I love live music and it was faultless, the musicians and singers are so talented, but I have to admit that I am spellbound by the dancing.  They chose the most popular songs from every genre and generation and it really was brilliant.  My two favourites were Liverpudlian Tommy Blaize performing a slow version, (which I'd never heard before,) of "My Girl," I found this clip but it was actually better on the night; http://youtu.be/EsHLu1DGHvc , then another of the singers, Tori Beaumont, beautifully perforned in the style of Eva Cassidy, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," to which Kristina and Robin performed, I couldn't say what dance it was, maybe an American Smooth as there were a lot of lifts, all I know is that it was beautiful, moving, stunning to watch.  At the end, most of the audience were moved to give them a standing ovation, it was pure brilliance and emotion on the stage before you.  At the end of the piece, they both left the stage, then Robin returned, breathless but tried, through his heavy breathing to explain that both he and Kristina had  left special people at home, and that they had decided that each night, they would dance that piece for their people, which almost brought back the tears I was trying so hard to temper.

Later, Kristina and Robin danced a contemporarty piece to Christina Perry's "Jar of Hearts."  Again, it was passioinate, moving, breathtaking, and won them another standing ovation.  I've sat in many a Liverpudlian audiance and these special gifts, the standing ovation, is not freely given away, trust me, they were truly deserving.

Kara is the only non professional but she can really hold her own and she does not stand out as a non professional, (she did win Strictly almost two years ago but she is truly talented.)  Artem and Kara, a real life couple in the wake of Strictly, performed a piece that Artem had choreographed for them in Stictly.  It was the first time that a piece of classical music had  been used on Strictly and it was equally stunning in real life, they performed to music from Swan Lake; http://youtu.be/z6ySmDg23k0

We managed to get bracelets backstage to both ladies so I hope they're wearing a little bit of Love Harlow.

It was 11pm before I got home, I had a shower, coffee and a piece of toast then hit the hay by 11.30, of course, I didn't fall asleep straight away so when my alarm went off at 3.50am, I'd had 3.somthing hours sleep.