Thursday, I had my first ever dermatology appointment, at a not so local hospital. I'd asked J to come with me, months before. I finished work and was home for about 10 minutes when she arrived to pick me up for the journey. Found the hospital no problem but we couldn't find a parking space.
J drops me off at the main hospital door, I have about 15 minutes before my appointment but, so that I'm not panicking, I leave the car and let J go on to find a space. I look at the board, gosh it's complicated. I head off to the left and I'm frantically reading signs as I stride. I am supposed to be heading for the blue zone, outpatients one, I can see a sign for everything, but that.
A doctor is about 6 paces in front of me. He flashes a pass and walks thought double doors, I pass through behind, tailgating him, immediately see a sign for "mortuary," and quickly jump back through the automatic doors before they close. Pretty sure this is not where I'm supposed to be.
Handsome doctor approaches. I say "doctor", he has a stethoscope around his neck and great hair... so I'm assuming. I ask for directions, basically, I need to head back the way I've come, I went wrong from the word "go."
I've had a problem with my skin for over 20 years. Since puberty actually, I've tried everything, every wash and mask you can buy from Boots. I've had from the GP; antibiotics, gels, creams, lotions, potions, the pill, I've tried facials, nothing worked. Six months ago, my GP offered me a referral to a dermatologist, couldn't help but wonder why I wasn't offered this 15-20 years ago?
It's 50 minutes after my appointment time when I'm finally called to a much smaller waiting area... to wait for another 5 minutes. I finally get to see the doctor. She is very nice, looks tired, is of Eastern European decent and while her English is good, I have to clarify everything as her accent is so strong. I have to ask her to repeat most things or I repeat back to her to check my understanding. My last chance is a very strong drug, it's a very mild, chemotherapy, has lots of side effects and I don't want to miss anything just by being too polite to double check my understanding. The main thing is, I absolutely cannot get pregnant... from what I can gather.
After an embarrassing conversation about birth control, I was fine, doctor was embarrassed, she went on to say, "can you imagine having this conversation with a 15 year old... her Dad present?" I did my best to alleviate the tension.
I was asked to provide a variety of bodily fluids, I would need to provide about 10 samples over the course. It's a six month treatment and it felt like I was being asked to jump through hoops. The hospital is not local and it just seemed like, it was just too much. I got a bit tearful and I pushed the paperwork on the desk, back towards the doctor, rejecting the treatment. I've been left to cope with the situation for over 20 years, maybe I should just get on with it.
"You've waited this long... give it a chance." The doctor was nice and I felt defeated and too tired to argue. I was fed up, but already there, I may as well give it a chance.
"It'll just be five minutes, then you can go." Well, five minutes turned into just over two hours. To begin with, it took staff 10 minutes to take a water sample off me, then it took two staff, three tests, just to check that I wasn't pregnant. And so it went on. I left home at 2.45pm and got back at 6.50pm.
It's six months out of my life and I suppose I may as well give it a go, a last chance. After that, the world had better get used to me as I am.
Saturday, 16 March 2013
1%
So the next day, I felt positively scalped as I washed the head in the shower, of course, there is still tons of it but Louise did a great job shaping it up.
The weekend evaporated before I knew it and it was Monday... again. My body is lagging behind the positive healthy image that I'm carrying around with me at present in my head. I have stomach ache all the time, aches if I eat anything, aches if I don't.
I headed to the Doctor's on Monday for my blood pressure "discussion". Conversation went something like this; "so you did the 24 hour blood pressure monitoring test, your overall average was high, so we'll sort out some meds for you today."
"Right away?" I was stunned, I honestly thought I'd get another go, I failed my driving test first time around, and my history GCSE, well, I got a "D", how come I don't get another go this time?
I launched into my best negotiating tactics, it was a test, I was really anxious about taking it and I like to do well at tests so I put more pressure on myself, I was really conscious of it "going off" every 30 minutes while I was in work, I felt embarrassed, I was worried about failing. My doctor had a wry smile on her face by this point and she turned to the computer to scan my other test results. My other results were "excellent" and at this point, if she leaves it for a few months, I only have a 1% chance of developing heart disease, and so I won a reprieve.
I don't know if I've made this up or if I heard it somewhere, but in my head, once I'm on blood pressure meds, I'll be on them for life, which is why it's so important for me to try to get this under control naturally. I get to take the test again in May. If I fail in May, I'm on meds but hey, I passed my driving test second time around, and I got a "C" in my History second time around, it'll be fine.
The weekend evaporated before I knew it and it was Monday... again. My body is lagging behind the positive healthy image that I'm carrying around with me at present in my head. I have stomach ache all the time, aches if I eat anything, aches if I don't.
I headed to the Doctor's on Monday for my blood pressure "discussion". Conversation went something like this; "so you did the 24 hour blood pressure monitoring test, your overall average was high, so we'll sort out some meds for you today."
"Right away?" I was stunned, I honestly thought I'd get another go, I failed my driving test first time around, and my history GCSE, well, I got a "D", how come I don't get another go this time?
I launched into my best negotiating tactics, it was a test, I was really anxious about taking it and I like to do well at tests so I put more pressure on myself, I was really conscious of it "going off" every 30 minutes while I was in work, I felt embarrassed, I was worried about failing. My doctor had a wry smile on her face by this point and she turned to the computer to scan my other test results. My other results were "excellent" and at this point, if she leaves it for a few months, I only have a 1% chance of developing heart disease, and so I won a reprieve.
I don't know if I've made this up or if I heard it somewhere, but in my head, once I'm on blood pressure meds, I'll be on them for life, which is why it's so important for me to try to get this under control naturally. I get to take the test again in May. If I fail in May, I'm on meds but hey, I passed my driving test second time around, and I got a "C" in my History second time around, it'll be fine.
Fringe Benefits
Just need to recap on the dying embers of last Sunday, 4.50pm with a gun metal sky and sunshine bouncing off the trees and into my patio. I love this light, I've missed this light for six months.
Hi Col, how are you chick? Yes, it's another Sunday, these weeks are flying by. As I write, it's 3rd March. Actually, I started this yesterday. Week in work was like wading through a thick, pea soup. Didn't sleep great for the best part of the week. My HR person had a meeting with my old department on Tuesday, to see if I could get transferred back to the department from whence I came. Long story short, out of 14 people who had transferred to the department within a couple of months of the announcement to close, me arriving just 6 weeks before the announcement, anyway, 13 people can go back to their original departments and permanent jobs. Me? My managers want me back, but there are no permanent places, so I am the only one left without a permanent job. They have put me in a redundancy situation, and I can't, for the life of me work out how this is legal. I was both gutted and hormonal to boot, actually, I'm more hormonal than not hormonal at any given moment, any time of the month, and it's exhausting.
On Friday, after a few hours on a particularly tricky case, after a really long week, I announced to my manager, that I had lost the will to live. She departed on a long lunch, only to return two hours later with Krispy Kreme donuts. Some managers are worth their weight in gold. A ring shaped piece of sugary heaven lightened my load and helped me limp to the finish line that is Friday afternoon.
After a trip around the supermarket, I headed to the old town and called in at my hairdressers just to book an appointment, the lovely Louise fitted me in there and then but made me promise to tell everyone that Louise cuts most of my hair... but not my fringe, (which I hack at myself,) so, as promised, the fringe, is all my own work.
Hi Col, how are you chick? Yes, it's another Sunday, these weeks are flying by. As I write, it's 3rd March. Actually, I started this yesterday. Week in work was like wading through a thick, pea soup. Didn't sleep great for the best part of the week. My HR person had a meeting with my old department on Tuesday, to see if I could get transferred back to the department from whence I came. Long story short, out of 14 people who had transferred to the department within a couple of months of the announcement to close, me arriving just 6 weeks before the announcement, anyway, 13 people can go back to their original departments and permanent jobs. Me? My managers want me back, but there are no permanent places, so I am the only one left without a permanent job. They have put me in a redundancy situation, and I can't, for the life of me work out how this is legal. I was both gutted and hormonal to boot, actually, I'm more hormonal than not hormonal at any given moment, any time of the month, and it's exhausting.
On Friday, after a few hours on a particularly tricky case, after a really long week, I announced to my manager, that I had lost the will to live. She departed on a long lunch, only to return two hours later with Krispy Kreme donuts. Some managers are worth their weight in gold. A ring shaped piece of sugary heaven lightened my load and helped me limp to the finish line that is Friday afternoon.
After a trip around the supermarket, I headed to the old town and called in at my hairdressers just to book an appointment, the lovely Louise fitted me in there and then but made me promise to tell everyone that Louise cuts most of my hair... but not my fringe, (which I hack at myself,) so, as promised, the fringe, is all my own work.
Sunday, 24 February 2013
On the Move
Last week, I had to get one of my tyres fixed, it had a screw in it, I'm hoping that it's as good as new but keep approaching car with trepidation in case I have a flat waiting for me.
Circulation is not on the move, despite wearing several layers to work on a daily basis, and not sitting too far from a radiator that is too hot to touch, I am permanently cold, frozen to the bone and it's miserable. Far too many occasions of numb and lifeless fingers for my liking, I keep wondering if one day, they won't come back to life, so I've decided that I am now allergic to extreme cold, I realise that this probably can't be classed as "extreme" by any normal person's standards but if it's cold enough to drain the life out of my extremities, then that is extreme enough for me. I'm allergic to cold aren't I? Can I still move in with you or is it too late?
I had another physio appointment this week. Physio, who not only works wonders but explains everything as she goes... and it makes so much sense, it's a great if painful 30 minutes. The human body is amazing isn't it? How everything is connected? Physio said she hoped to get me to 75% mobility and I'm apparently at 50% now. I was momentarily elated, then a bit dashed, what about the other 25%? What can I do about that? I'll ask next time but not quite ready to settle for 75% just yet.
Work situation? Well, it's still hanging in the balance. I may find out next week if I may be able to move back to my old department, considering that this department took me on unfairly, putting me in a redundancy situation, 6 weeks after I started, I think I deserve to be allowed to go back. We'll have to wait and see.
I'm keen to see the back of Winter. My heating is on permanently and I'm dreading the next bill but it's just too cold without it. I was holding out for the sales but when I leave here, I'm heading for M&S to see what they have in the thermal underwear line. Hope you're not too warm over there chick? ;) x
Circulation is not on the move, despite wearing several layers to work on a daily basis, and not sitting too far from a radiator that is too hot to touch, I am permanently cold, frozen to the bone and it's miserable. Far too many occasions of numb and lifeless fingers for my liking, I keep wondering if one day, they won't come back to life, so I've decided that I am now allergic to extreme cold, I realise that this probably can't be classed as "extreme" by any normal person's standards but if it's cold enough to drain the life out of my extremities, then that is extreme enough for me. I'm allergic to cold aren't I? Can I still move in with you or is it too late?
I had another physio appointment this week. Physio, who not only works wonders but explains everything as she goes... and it makes so much sense, it's a great if painful 30 minutes. The human body is amazing isn't it? How everything is connected? Physio said she hoped to get me to 75% mobility and I'm apparently at 50% now. I was momentarily elated, then a bit dashed, what about the other 25%? What can I do about that? I'll ask next time but not quite ready to settle for 75% just yet.
Work situation? Well, it's still hanging in the balance. I may find out next week if I may be able to move back to my old department, considering that this department took me on unfairly, putting me in a redundancy situation, 6 weeks after I started, I think I deserve to be allowed to go back. We'll have to wait and see.
I'm keen to see the back of Winter. My heating is on permanently and I'm dreading the next bill but it's just too cold without it. I was holding out for the sales but when I leave here, I'm heading for M&S to see what they have in the thermal underwear line. Hope you're not too warm over there chick? ;) x
Saturday, 16 February 2013
I know, I know...
You're wondering where I've been and what the heck I've been up to? Well, I don't actually know where the past two weeks disappeared to, it wasn't doing housework because this place is a tip. Each Monday to Friday have been busy, changes by the day, more and more worry piled on the top of existing worry about jobs and selections and options and my weekends just evaporate. Each 48 hour segment feels like 90 minutes maximum, isn't that just typical?
One thing I did do last Sunday was accept an invite from CJ for coffee at 11ish. I rapped on the door and bent head first to untie boots, as I lifted head up, this vision of pride and handsomeness greeted me. "Have you lost weight?" Were the first words out of my mouth and this cheeky and knowing face smiled back at me. In three weeks, CJ has lost 14lbs. He looks great, happy and strong, just what an Aunt wants to see. We were having a great chat but I had to cut it short to get back home for B calling in after church.
My own workouts, other than my "Jane Fonda" leg lifts, have dried up recently, between a muscle spasm in my back and total lack of motivation, that's all I've managed. I am on a bit of health kick though. Alcohol consumption down, veggies up, porridge up, sleep up. All good things.
Oh, eyebrows were waxed at the fair hand of the lovely Mandie yesterday, so I feel slightly more human today.
Did I tell you about my eldest sister's cholesterol? I was told she had a reading of 20, this week, I found out, from the horses mouth that it was actually 23. So a couple of weeks ago, on my last visit to my GP, I mentioned this and another sister having high cholesterol and two of my cousins and asked if she thought I should have it checked? GP loved the idea and told me that "they", the doctors, love people asking for tests. Who knew? Anyway, a week later I went for my test and a few days after the fasting blood test I got my results, sugar at 4.4, cholesterol at 4.6, both normal. Just need to sort out my BP now.
One thing I did do last Sunday was accept an invite from CJ for coffee at 11ish. I rapped on the door and bent head first to untie boots, as I lifted head up, this vision of pride and handsomeness greeted me. "Have you lost weight?" Were the first words out of my mouth and this cheeky and knowing face smiled back at me. In three weeks, CJ has lost 14lbs. He looks great, happy and strong, just what an Aunt wants to see. We were having a great chat but I had to cut it short to get back home for B calling in after church.
My own workouts, other than my "Jane Fonda" leg lifts, have dried up recently, between a muscle spasm in my back and total lack of motivation, that's all I've managed. I am on a bit of health kick though. Alcohol consumption down, veggies up, porridge up, sleep up. All good things.
Oh, eyebrows were waxed at the fair hand of the lovely Mandie yesterday, so I feel slightly more human today.
Did I tell you about my eldest sister's cholesterol? I was told she had a reading of 20, this week, I found out, from the horses mouth that it was actually 23. So a couple of weeks ago, on my last visit to my GP, I mentioned this and another sister having high cholesterol and two of my cousins and asked if she thought I should have it checked? GP loved the idea and told me that "they", the doctors, love people asking for tests. Who knew? Anyway, a week later I went for my test and a few days after the fasting blood test I got my results, sugar at 4.4, cholesterol at 4.6, both normal. Just need to sort out my BP now.
Friday, 1 February 2013
Blood Spatter
So after the drama of doing the high blood pressure monitoring thingummy on Monday and Tuesday, on Wednesday, I had an appointment to donate blood... for the needy, well, for the bleeding I suppose.
I beat a hasty retreat from work and travelled, in my own time and using my own fuel, to the destination. I had an appointment booked, I arrived 10 minutes early.
Twenty minutes later, when I was still sitting there, after negotiating the poorly signed system they had going on, I could feel myself getting wound up. Despite my negotiations with myself, the fact remains that years ago, blood donors over here were encouraged to make an appointment to donate, rather than wait for over an hour, as I have done, to donate, out of the good of our hearts for no more reward than a coffee or a weak cordial and a biscuit.
And so, I was there early by 10 minutes and 10 minutes after my appointment time, I was still waiting and feeling agitated. Shortly afterwards, my name was called, ran through the usual, name, d.o.b. address, last time I gave blood. Minutes later, I was laying down on a bed.
I rolled up shirt sleeve and looked away, I'm not squeamish but I prefer not to watch the needle going in. Male nurse did a great job, hardly felt a thing. Then I heard, "sorry, some splash back and there is some blood on your top." I looked down and to the left and there were four drops of blood on my shirt.
Reassured the nurse it was fine as I dabbed with a wet wipe, but this has never happened before, is it because I was worked up at my appointment running late? Is my BP really high?
Bearing in mind that the alarm used to sound a couple of years ago because I was so slow at donating, (you have to give your donation within 15 minutes or they can't use it, and I always struggled to complete on time,) today, I'm at 4.something minutes, while I am a bit glad, I am a bit worried.
Another nurse arrives to extract needle, make sure that I stop bleeding and sit me up before I head for my coffee.
8 minutes and 4 nurses later and my arm has just about stopped bleeding. This is not normal. I have to get this under control. I don't mention my BP and when the head nurse is satisfied that I won't bleed to death in my sleep, I head for a coffee.
I get home, take off the tape across my arm and hit the shower. I need to gain control of my body, I need to work at relaxation. This is ridiculous.
I beat a hasty retreat from work and travelled, in my own time and using my own fuel, to the destination. I had an appointment booked, I arrived 10 minutes early.
Twenty minutes later, when I was still sitting there, after negotiating the poorly signed system they had going on, I could feel myself getting wound up. Despite my negotiations with myself, the fact remains that years ago, blood donors over here were encouraged to make an appointment to donate, rather than wait for over an hour, as I have done, to donate, out of the good of our hearts for no more reward than a coffee or a weak cordial and a biscuit.
And so, I was there early by 10 minutes and 10 minutes after my appointment time, I was still waiting and feeling agitated. Shortly afterwards, my name was called, ran through the usual, name, d.o.b. address, last time I gave blood. Minutes later, I was laying down on a bed.
I rolled up shirt sleeve and looked away, I'm not squeamish but I prefer not to watch the needle going in. Male nurse did a great job, hardly felt a thing. Then I heard, "sorry, some splash back and there is some blood on your top." I looked down and to the left and there were four drops of blood on my shirt.
Reassured the nurse it was fine as I dabbed with a wet wipe, but this has never happened before, is it because I was worked up at my appointment running late? Is my BP really high?
Bearing in mind that the alarm used to sound a couple of years ago because I was so slow at donating, (you have to give your donation within 15 minutes or they can't use it, and I always struggled to complete on time,) today, I'm at 4.something minutes, while I am a bit glad, I am a bit worried.
Another nurse arrives to extract needle, make sure that I stop bleeding and sit me up before I head for my coffee.
8 minutes and 4 nurses later and my arm has just about stopped bleeding. This is not normal. I have to get this under control. I don't mention my BP and when the head nurse is satisfied that I won't bleed to death in my sleep, I head for a coffee.
I get home, take off the tape across my arm and hit the shower. I need to gain control of my body, I need to work at relaxation. This is ridiculous.
Think of a Number
So, my blood pressure has been sporadic but mostly high for a few years now, do you remember the last time I was due to come out to see you and I thought the locum doctor would put the mockers on me flying? Every time I had my BP taken, I managed to pass off the high measurement somehow, had two jobs, little sleep, stressful situation, but four years on and they don't seem to believe me so much.
I haven't seen many white feathers lately but just figured too much time had passed and those that used to send me those little "hello's" were fine and so, that was fine by me. They were busy having fun and I was happy with that.
I've had two tiny and fluffy white feathers on my doorstep this week, well, Saturday and then another on Sunday. Do we think this is a coincidence? I'm guessing not so much.
The nurse I've seen a couple of times in the past six months, quite rightly, flagged up my high BP. It's not terrible, (they haven't seen it terrible,) just higher than it should be. So I was given an ultimatum that I should complete a 24 hour blood pressure test, away from the surgery, away from "white collar syndrome," to prove myself and to show that I was really okay.
At the last meeting, I asked the nurse to write down for me, what I should be, and what I was. She wrote, what I should be as 144/90 and what I was as 150/92, so you can see, not hugely over on the scale, this time.
Around 8 weeks later, I have been summoned to take a 24 hour blood pressure monitoring test. I am anxious, I haven't slept for a few nights worrying about it, I have read that a reading is taken every 30 minutes, (and when it does, if it's anything like the monitor I have at home, it makes a very loud buzzing sound.) I'm worried I'll distract my colleagues, draw attention to myself, for the whole time I'm in work and thus, I would be embarrassed, I hate all attention on me. The Sister who fit's the device is calm and lovely. The medical student, who bundles in, a few minutes late after rapping on the door, is not. She does not calm me.
I have a cuff placed around my arm, it's too big for me but it has a clip and I attach it to my t-shirt. The reader, monitor, sits in a little, across body holder, like a little handbag, only the Sister dresses me and feeds the connecting tube and the holster, over my shirt, and so I ask if it can sit under my shirt, I'm self conscious as it is without advertising a tube and an across body bag which buzzes every 30 minutes for heavens sake.
You may be surprised to know that my first reading was high. Sister was lovely and explained that this is normal and this should be the highest reading of 24 hours.
Unfortunately, from 9am when the device was fitted, it wasn't until 3.30pm that my blood pressure returned to "normal-ish." I was too conscious of the readings, or if anyone would notice the buzzing, if we'd finish our daily, "not so brief," (our daily meeting,) before the monitor would check on me again. It was too much and a mistake, I should have taken the day off to attempt to remain calm.
I got home and used the time between readings to grab a shower, I took off my shirt and there, prominent and proud, was a tiny white feather attached to the strap of the holster. Explanations are welcome.
I was at home and watching TV by 3.30pm which is when I neared normal. I went to bed early, I was tired as I hadn't slept well the night before... in preparation, and I didn't expect to sleep on Monday night at all with the readings continuing through the night. However, it wasn't too bad. I went unconscious, with the help of a tiny bit of wine, for 5 hours and then I woke and dozed in between readings for the next 5 hours, I lay still in bed, wide awake between 5am and 6am to get another 2, "normal" readings under my belt to attempt to get my average down.
I headed out to the surgery again the next morning and Sister actually came for me over 5 minutes early, "thought you'd be glad to take that off." I really was but the funny thing was, I felt like I was still wearing the cuff even after it had been removed.
The Sister downloaded the information there and then. They are used to at least 3 errors but I had only 1 and "did really well" I got excited at this point as thought I'd passed then realised she was talking about the number of errors. Only one error, (miss reading) occurred within 24 hours and it was around midnight, I was asleep and must have been laying on the tube.
The Sister then analysed the downloaded results. "You see here that it's high and it's not until here than it becomes normal, even here, it's higher than it should be, so the average over 24 hours is.......... 144/90."
I was temporarily elated, that's the number I needed, that's the number the nurse wrote down for me, I'm okay! But apparently not, despite the earlier nurse, 8 weeks ago, telling me that I should be at 144/90, today, that number is high, apparently.
Don't you think it's strange that out of highs and lows over 24 hours that the average is the number I've been staring at and hoping for, for the last 2 months? 144/90. I do.
So I have to wait now. If it was up to the lovely and calm Sister Bullock, she would give me 6 months and have me take the test again because I am "young" (allegedly,) and "light," (who am I to argue?) But sadly it is not up to Sister Bullock, the information will be passed to my GP and she will be in touch with a plan of action, I'm hoping they give me a stay of execution. I don't want to go onto meds just yet and I am, after all, under the threat of redundancy for heavens sake, doesn't that count for anything, anymore?
I have written a new number on a tiny piece of paper to concentrate on, it is, 135/80. I now stare at this number every time I check my BP at home, probably about twice a day. I will achieve this the next time I'm tested... or better. Great experiment, no? I am now interested in manifestation, if it works on numbers, what else can it work on?
I haven't seen many white feathers lately but just figured too much time had passed and those that used to send me those little "hello's" were fine and so, that was fine by me. They were busy having fun and I was happy with that.
I've had two tiny and fluffy white feathers on my doorstep this week, well, Saturday and then another on Sunday. Do we think this is a coincidence? I'm guessing not so much.
The nurse I've seen a couple of times in the past six months, quite rightly, flagged up my high BP. It's not terrible, (they haven't seen it terrible,) just higher than it should be. So I was given an ultimatum that I should complete a 24 hour blood pressure test, away from the surgery, away from "white collar syndrome," to prove myself and to show that I was really okay.
At the last meeting, I asked the nurse to write down for me, what I should be, and what I was. She wrote, what I should be as 144/90 and what I was as 150/92, so you can see, not hugely over on the scale, this time.
Around 8 weeks later, I have been summoned to take a 24 hour blood pressure monitoring test. I am anxious, I haven't slept for a few nights worrying about it, I have read that a reading is taken every 30 minutes, (and when it does, if it's anything like the monitor I have at home, it makes a very loud buzzing sound.) I'm worried I'll distract my colleagues, draw attention to myself, for the whole time I'm in work and thus, I would be embarrassed, I hate all attention on me. The Sister who fit's the device is calm and lovely. The medical student, who bundles in, a few minutes late after rapping on the door, is not. She does not calm me.
I have a cuff placed around my arm, it's too big for me but it has a clip and I attach it to my t-shirt. The reader, monitor, sits in a little, across body holder, like a little handbag, only the Sister dresses me and feeds the connecting tube and the holster, over my shirt, and so I ask if it can sit under my shirt, I'm self conscious as it is without advertising a tube and an across body bag which buzzes every 30 minutes for heavens sake.
You may be surprised to know that my first reading was high. Sister was lovely and explained that this is normal and this should be the highest reading of 24 hours.
Unfortunately, from 9am when the device was fitted, it wasn't until 3.30pm that my blood pressure returned to "normal-ish." I was too conscious of the readings, or if anyone would notice the buzzing, if we'd finish our daily, "not so brief," (our daily meeting,) before the monitor would check on me again. It was too much and a mistake, I should have taken the day off to attempt to remain calm.
I got home and used the time between readings to grab a shower, I took off my shirt and there, prominent and proud, was a tiny white feather attached to the strap of the holster. Explanations are welcome.
I was at home and watching TV by 3.30pm which is when I neared normal. I went to bed early, I was tired as I hadn't slept well the night before... in preparation, and I didn't expect to sleep on Monday night at all with the readings continuing through the night. However, it wasn't too bad. I went unconscious, with the help of a tiny bit of wine, for 5 hours and then I woke and dozed in between readings for the next 5 hours, I lay still in bed, wide awake between 5am and 6am to get another 2, "normal" readings under my belt to attempt to get my average down.
I headed out to the surgery again the next morning and Sister actually came for me over 5 minutes early, "thought you'd be glad to take that off." I really was but the funny thing was, I felt like I was still wearing the cuff even after it had been removed.
The Sister downloaded the information there and then. They are used to at least 3 errors but I had only 1 and "did really well" I got excited at this point as thought I'd passed then realised she was talking about the number of errors. Only one error, (miss reading) occurred within 24 hours and it was around midnight, I was asleep and must have been laying on the tube.
The Sister then analysed the downloaded results. "You see here that it's high and it's not until here than it becomes normal, even here, it's higher than it should be, so the average over 24 hours is.......... 144/90."
I was temporarily elated, that's the number I needed, that's the number the nurse wrote down for me, I'm okay! But apparently not, despite the earlier nurse, 8 weeks ago, telling me that I should be at 144/90, today, that number is high, apparently.
Don't you think it's strange that out of highs and lows over 24 hours that the average is the number I've been staring at and hoping for, for the last 2 months? 144/90. I do.
So I have to wait now. If it was up to the lovely and calm Sister Bullock, she would give me 6 months and have me take the test again because I am "young" (allegedly,) and "light," (who am I to argue?) But sadly it is not up to Sister Bullock, the information will be passed to my GP and she will be in touch with a plan of action, I'm hoping they give me a stay of execution. I don't want to go onto meds just yet and I am, after all, under the threat of redundancy for heavens sake, doesn't that count for anything, anymore?
I have written a new number on a tiny piece of paper to concentrate on, it is, 135/80. I now stare at this number every time I check my BP at home, probably about twice a day. I will achieve this the next time I'm tested... or better. Great experiment, no? I am now interested in manifestation, if it works on numbers, what else can it work on?
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