Did I tell you that I needed a root canal? Well I've needed one since, well, I was told I needed one in June and my appointment was finally this morning. As petrified as I am, I just couldn't wait to go this morning and I arrived twenty minutes early, I just wanted to get it done. Yes, I need a root canal but I need to get rid of the abscess that I've been carting around for weeks, even more.
The appointment was at my usual place but I had never seen this dentist before, he was lovely, talked ten to the dozen and sounded just like 'Fronk' from "Father of the Bride". It was so distracting but in a really great way, beneath the rubber damn thingummy stretched across my mouth, I was often trying not to smile, he wasn't even joking, I just couldn't stop thinking about Fronk as he chatted away.
A couple of hours later, I'm sipping coffee through a straw, feeling a bit tingly and still numb, but not too bad. It's only half done, unsurprisingly, there is quite a bit of infection so we, Fronk and I, need to see if it settles before the final filling goes in. I return to Fronk in a few weeks, fingers crossed it's good enough for the wedding next week, for now, I'm wearing some kind of medicated temporary ensemble.
Friday, 8 August 2014
Thursday, 7 August 2014
Changable
Well, I've had a great weekend, you know the kind where you breeze through tons of chores in the blink of an eye? I'm feeling very proud of myself.
This place is about 90% 'cleansed' and clutter free and it's true what they say, getting rid of the clutter, cleanses the mind, I feel great.
Saturday was hot and made the chores hard going but today, Sunday is much cooler, there is a welcome breeze flowing through this place and it feels just lovely.
*****
Weather has taken a distinctly downward turn but I'm quite happy about that. Sunshine is lovely, mega heat is uncomfortable and brings one sleepless night after another.
So it's now the following weekend, I can't believe how these weeks are flying by. Weather remained cooler and changeable but I've managed to dodge the rain for the most part.
We entered August this week... can't believe it, which means my cousin's wedding is only days away now. I had a coffee date on Thursday for a couple of hours and it was lovely to chat and to listen. It was around 7pm when I was heading home and I was starving and so diverted to the best 'chippy' in town for chips and gravy, (I've been craving it for days now.) Walking down the road I see a biker on a bench eating chips. 'You don't recognise me do you?' Why do people keep saying this to me?
A few minutes later, I've seen past the biker jacket and the blacker than black sunglasses, and it's my sister's neighbour, who I've known for about twenty years, and who gave me a poppy plant this year.
I actually get to enter the chippy and seconds later, one of our old customers comes in and gives me a kiss on the cheek. It was lovely to see him and I was picturing his wife the whole time, such a lovely couple, (could I remember the name? I did, but only several hours later.)
Friday and I reluctantly get myself roped into selling cakes for a local charity, not that I don't support the project but I was just hoping, to blitz the pile of post on my desk. Instead, I had a blast reliving colleagues of their hard earned £'s for the sake of some fancy lbs disguised as cupcakes, carrot cake, lemon drizzle and such like.
I finish work for the day and for the third time this week, I head for the supermarket to pick up the fizzy water I like, (they've been out of it the previous two evenings I've called in.) I'd only just set foot into the store when I eye up one of my sister's checking out some discounted chocolate. It's lovely to see her, we're not... not speaking, we just don't speak much, or see each other very often. And so we exchanged warm hugs and kisses, she looks amazing, (I hope I look as good as she does in sixteen years.)
I've heard stories over the years that my sister wasn't too keen on my arrival but thinking about it now, at the age of sixteen, no, she probably didn't herald my arrival. The story also goes that on my arrival from hospital, aged... hours, our Mum handed me to my (thankfully non sociopath,) sister and left us to go into the kitchen. My sister fell instantly in love with me, (of course,) and Mum, cried.
It was so great to see her. I have time off work in September and by then, she should have some free time and so we've pencilled each other in for a proper catch up.
This place is about 90% 'cleansed' and clutter free and it's true what they say, getting rid of the clutter, cleanses the mind, I feel great.
Saturday was hot and made the chores hard going but today, Sunday is much cooler, there is a welcome breeze flowing through this place and it feels just lovely.
*****
Weather has taken a distinctly downward turn but I'm quite happy about that. Sunshine is lovely, mega heat is uncomfortable and brings one sleepless night after another.
So it's now the following weekend, I can't believe how these weeks are flying by. Weather remained cooler and changeable but I've managed to dodge the rain for the most part.
We entered August this week... can't believe it, which means my cousin's wedding is only days away now. I had a coffee date on Thursday for a couple of hours and it was lovely to chat and to listen. It was around 7pm when I was heading home and I was starving and so diverted to the best 'chippy' in town for chips and gravy, (I've been craving it for days now.) Walking down the road I see a biker on a bench eating chips. 'You don't recognise me do you?' Why do people keep saying this to me?
A few minutes later, I've seen past the biker jacket and the blacker than black sunglasses, and it's my sister's neighbour, who I've known for about twenty years, and who gave me a poppy plant this year.
I actually get to enter the chippy and seconds later, one of our old customers comes in and gives me a kiss on the cheek. It was lovely to see him and I was picturing his wife the whole time, such a lovely couple, (could I remember the name? I did, but only several hours later.)
Friday and I reluctantly get myself roped into selling cakes for a local charity, not that I don't support the project but I was just hoping, to blitz the pile of post on my desk. Instead, I had a blast reliving colleagues of their hard earned £'s for the sake of some fancy lbs disguised as cupcakes, carrot cake, lemon drizzle and such like.
I finish work for the day and for the third time this week, I head for the supermarket to pick up the fizzy water I like, (they've been out of it the previous two evenings I've called in.) I'd only just set foot into the store when I eye up one of my sister's checking out some discounted chocolate. It's lovely to see her, we're not... not speaking, we just don't speak much, or see each other very often. And so we exchanged warm hugs and kisses, she looks amazing, (I hope I look as good as she does in sixteen years.)
I've heard stories over the years that my sister wasn't too keen on my arrival but thinking about it now, at the age of sixteen, no, she probably didn't herald my arrival. The story also goes that on my arrival from hospital, aged... hours, our Mum handed me to my (thankfully non sociopath,) sister and left us to go into the kitchen. My sister fell instantly in love with me, (of course,) and Mum, cried.
It was so great to see her. I have time off work in September and by then, she should have some free time and so we've pencilled each other in for a proper catch up.
Friday, 25 July 2014
Another Week
So another week is over. These weeks are flying by and while I have much to look forward to; my cousin's wedding, my long awaited two weeks off work and my root canal, (I'm serious, cannot wait to get it done,) they are flying by at an alarming rate and at such a pace that each evening, I feel more shattered than the last.
We are well and truly in summer Col, one afternoon this week, driving home from work, my car temp gauge registered 32 degrees, which as you well know, is hot hot hot, for here. Despite the air con in work, I feel drained by the time I have driven home. It's supposed to be cooler next week and to be honest, I'll be happy to sleep soundly again.
Abscess, as you can probably gather is worse, only two weeks to go until my appointment at the dentist, ankle is tons better, (did I tell you I sprained it?) it's pathetically weak though and the slightest anomaly, uneven curb, pot hole, cobble stones... sends twinges up my leg.
Today I've had a day off, gosh it was much needed, I've been tired this week but what time did I wake up? Yep, only 10 minutes after my usual time, I was awake at 5:05. However, I've had a really lovely day off, I had a leisurely first part of the morning, I downloaded another workout to try, put a wash load in, watched a bit of Desperate Housewives, showered and had fruit toast for breakfast. Jan arrived at 9.40am and we headed off to Chester. It's years since I've been there and it's so close, still, off we headed. We had a tight schedule as Jan has a wedding to attend tomorrow and she needed to have a lazy-ish day today.
We kicked off with coffee and a catch up, have to say I mostly listened but it was lovely. We then hit a few shops and were very disciplined heading in and aiming for just the things on our lists.
Top of my list was lace to add to my possible facinator for Philip and Kate's wedding, (I say possible as it's a toss up between the new one, purchased in the sale, and the old one... the one I had for Donna's wedding which also goes perfectly with my dress... except I'm still deciding between two dresses.)
We arrived back at mine, Jan tried on her two possibilities for Philip's wedding and for the wedding she's attending tomorrow and I gave me seal of approval and offered my opinion on which dress for which wedding.
After Jan left, I grabbed a quick water then headed out to do some chores but it was lovely to just browse, hitting the shops I usually don't have time for and to pick up a few things I've been looking for to help me get organised.
I'm feeling lucky and so I've bought a lottery ticket for tonight and one for tomorrow night so you'd better make up my bed ;) Jupiter or... some other planet is in my... something, which is bringing tremendous luck, I swear I can feel it.
Hair is ridiculously long, OK, not Elle Macpherson long but long enough for me that I can't do anything with it other than pile it up and hope it stays. I'm on the hunt for a new style but with my hair, not sure what else I could have?
Are you watching the Commonwealth Games? I usually loathe opening ceremonies but I have to say that I think that Glasgow got it mostly spot on, the most entertaining opening ceremony I've managed to sit through for a while. Thought all the artists were great, loved the flash mob effect, adored the Scottie dogs leading out the teams, where else would you get that?
My laptop is heating up beyond safe parameters so I'm going to post and sign off. I will be back soon x
We are well and truly in summer Col, one afternoon this week, driving home from work, my car temp gauge registered 32 degrees, which as you well know, is hot hot hot, for here. Despite the air con in work, I feel drained by the time I have driven home. It's supposed to be cooler next week and to be honest, I'll be happy to sleep soundly again.
Abscess, as you can probably gather is worse, only two weeks to go until my appointment at the dentist, ankle is tons better, (did I tell you I sprained it?) it's pathetically weak though and the slightest anomaly, uneven curb, pot hole, cobble stones... sends twinges up my leg.
Today I've had a day off, gosh it was much needed, I've been tired this week but what time did I wake up? Yep, only 10 minutes after my usual time, I was awake at 5:05. However, I've had a really lovely day off, I had a leisurely first part of the morning, I downloaded another workout to try, put a wash load in, watched a bit of Desperate Housewives, showered and had fruit toast for breakfast. Jan arrived at 9.40am and we headed off to Chester. It's years since I've been there and it's so close, still, off we headed. We had a tight schedule as Jan has a wedding to attend tomorrow and she needed to have a lazy-ish day today.
We kicked off with coffee and a catch up, have to say I mostly listened but it was lovely. We then hit a few shops and were very disciplined heading in and aiming for just the things on our lists.
Top of my list was lace to add to my possible facinator for Philip and Kate's wedding, (I say possible as it's a toss up between the new one, purchased in the sale, and the old one... the one I had for Donna's wedding which also goes perfectly with my dress... except I'm still deciding between two dresses.)
We arrived back at mine, Jan tried on her two possibilities for Philip's wedding and for the wedding she's attending tomorrow and I gave me seal of approval and offered my opinion on which dress for which wedding.
After Jan left, I grabbed a quick water then headed out to do some chores but it was lovely to just browse, hitting the shops I usually don't have time for and to pick up a few things I've been looking for to help me get organised.
I'm feeling lucky and so I've bought a lottery ticket for tonight and one for tomorrow night so you'd better make up my bed ;) Jupiter or... some other planet is in my... something, which is bringing tremendous luck, I swear I can feel it.
Hair is ridiculously long, OK, not Elle Macpherson long but long enough for me that I can't do anything with it other than pile it up and hope it stays. I'm on the hunt for a new style but with my hair, not sure what else I could have?
Are you watching the Commonwealth Games? I usually loathe opening ceremonies but I have to say that I think that Glasgow got it mostly spot on, the most entertaining opening ceremony I've managed to sit through for a while. Thought all the artists were great, loved the flash mob effect, adored the Scottie dogs leading out the teams, where else would you get that?
My laptop is heating up beyond safe parameters so I'm going to post and sign off. I will be back soon x
Sunday, 20 July 2014
AWOL
Hi Sweetie,
Sorry I'm more AWOL than not just now. This is turning out to be a year of challenges and discovery. I'll probably go into more detail at a later date but for now, I'm still at this end, among other things... three weeks into a sprained ankle and a root canal which is currently in the guise of an abscess. I showed the abscess to one friend today and she almost passed out, I thought it was looking better.
I'm fine, just feel a bit battered and reeling from some recent realisations. Time is a ticking.
Anyway, I'm OK, just feel a little like hibernating for the time being. I have a few high points on the horizon though to look forward to, my cousin Philip marries the lovely Kate on the 14th August, I have a couple of weeks off work to look forward to in September and the lovely Sheila has a big birthday, also in September, she's having a big party and I'm invited, so I'm looking forward to that.
I manage the odd 'funny' in work but other than that, I'm really not feeling my usual self at the moment so have to apologise for the lack of humour just now. I know that my funny bone is not dead, it's just sprained.
Back soon.
Love you x
Sorry I'm more AWOL than not just now. This is turning out to be a year of challenges and discovery. I'll probably go into more detail at a later date but for now, I'm still at this end, among other things... three weeks into a sprained ankle and a root canal which is currently in the guise of an abscess. I showed the abscess to one friend today and she almost passed out, I thought it was looking better.
I'm fine, just feel a bit battered and reeling from some recent realisations. Time is a ticking.
Anyway, I'm OK, just feel a little like hibernating for the time being. I have a few high points on the horizon though to look forward to, my cousin Philip marries the lovely Kate on the 14th August, I have a couple of weeks off work to look forward to in September and the lovely Sheila has a big birthday, also in September, she's having a big party and I'm invited, so I'm looking forward to that.
I manage the odd 'funny' in work but other than that, I'm really not feeling my usual self at the moment so have to apologise for the lack of humour just now. I know that my funny bone is not dead, it's just sprained.
Back soon.
Love you x
Saturday, 28 June 2014
Work Hard for a Living?
So, a psychic told me many years ago that I would never be rich and I would always need to work two jobs. It's been a few years since I worked a full time and a part time job, but I think the time has come for me to find a new, part time job.
I've been deluged with bills and expenditure these past few weeks, root canal here, road tax there, prescriptions, medication, wedding, birthdays, car repairs. The list is endless and the bills are mounting.
After a medium sized melt down, (a few sleepless nights and many tears,) I've come to a conclusion. No, it won't fix immediate and pressing problem (or probably save tooth,) but I'm thinking long term.
For a while now, I have had this nagging feeling that time is running out. (If I stop posting altogether then you'll know that it eventually really did run out.) I'm now thinking if I do get a new second job, to go along side the full time job, then I can clear my mortgage, make all necessary improvements, make unnecessary improvements, (decor etc.) take holidays (to you mainly,) visit my friends down south more often and who knows what else?
At the moment, I'm working to pay bills, that's all. And then... at times like this, the bills aren't even covered.
I believe that you get several attempts at this life, to learn lessons, to attempt to get it right, to be a fully formed soul. I've always felt like an old soul and then one day, many moons ago, I purchased an astrological reading which, if you believe it, I was told that I had been here many times before and that this journey would be one of my last, I am an old soul. We can believe what we like, but that information feels true.
I have had many instances before this to know that I felt like I had been here before, a combination of deja vu and a smart mouth, smart beyond my years. (Can you imagine a smart, worldly wise mouth on a child?)
So what if this is one of my last journeys? I would like to be able to live in a place that I love, within calm and serene surroundings, to visit those places on my bucket list and to be surrounded by or at least, be able to visit those people that I adore.
I'm not asking for fast cars, fancy houses or priceless trinkets. I don't think that I'm asking for too much, do you?
I've been deluged with bills and expenditure these past few weeks, root canal here, road tax there, prescriptions, medication, wedding, birthdays, car repairs. The list is endless and the bills are mounting.
After a medium sized melt down, (a few sleepless nights and many tears,) I've come to a conclusion. No, it won't fix immediate and pressing problem (or probably save tooth,) but I'm thinking long term.
For a while now, I have had this nagging feeling that time is running out. (If I stop posting altogether then you'll know that it eventually really did run out.) I'm now thinking if I do get a new second job, to go along side the full time job, then I can clear my mortgage, make all necessary improvements, make unnecessary improvements, (decor etc.) take holidays (to you mainly,) visit my friends down south more often and who knows what else?
At the moment, I'm working to pay bills, that's all. And then... at times like this, the bills aren't even covered.
I believe that you get several attempts at this life, to learn lessons, to attempt to get it right, to be a fully formed soul. I've always felt like an old soul and then one day, many moons ago, I purchased an astrological reading which, if you believe it, I was told that I had been here many times before and that this journey would be one of my last, I am an old soul. We can believe what we like, but that information feels true.
I have had many instances before this to know that I felt like I had been here before, a combination of deja vu and a smart mouth, smart beyond my years. (Can you imagine a smart, worldly wise mouth on a child?)
So what if this is one of my last journeys? I would like to be able to live in a place that I love, within calm and serene surroundings, to visit those places on my bucket list and to be surrounded by or at least, be able to visit those people that I adore.
I'm not asking for fast cars, fancy houses or priceless trinkets. I don't think that I'm asking for too much, do you?
Sunday, 15 June 2014
Blue
Hi Sweetie. Your out-of-the-blue phone call last night cheered me up no end, although I had to try hard all the way through our long conversation, not to cry. I was happy, emotional, and I miss you.
I can't tell you how happy it made me to hear your voice, (even though the line wasn't great,) and to talk to you, I know you moved years ago but I still miss you so much.
Anyway, not that I wasn't happy to hear from you or that I don't miss you horribly, but I'm additionally, so emotional at the moment and I have no idea why. I thought I was ready for a break and just overtired but after a week off work, my first break since Christmas, I'm slightly less tired but still really emotional, about everything, and anything.
Films, TV, music, photographs, adverts, comments, clothing, you name it, everywhere I look, everywhere I am seems to remind me of some of the saddest moments of my life. Things I haven't thought about for years play out in my head like a scene from a film. I can be driving along in the sunshine with only my sunglasses to hide the tears.
I've started jogging again in the hope of lifting my spirits. Nine out of the last ten days, I've jogged (slash) run 2km in 20 minutes, I just need to keep it up when I get back to work. I know that it's hard after an early start, a long day, a two hour drive and more often than not; nausea, to then get home, get changed, lace up the trainers and 'just do it.' The last time I visited my GP, about said tum, conversation moved to my BP meds and she questioned if I was; 'still exercising?' You know that I can't lie. 'I did today! But...' 'I know, your stomach has been bad recently.' The Doctor filled in the blanks and what she said was true but the bigger truth is that I haven't jogged consistently for a while and my, as I like to call her, 'hippy dippy doctor,' is all about the yoga pose to cure a bad back... which she will demonstrate. I am of course affectionately teasing, you know that I'm a big believer in keeping yourself healthy and doing what you can to help yourself and keep yourself well. (Although that hasn't stopped me cursing her in the past when I felt like I was made of iron and fused at every joint and I was in total agony and I just needed drugs... what I got was a pose to try. Time and a place people.)
I've listened to a lot of music while I've been off and isn't it amazing how great music can make you feel? I'm listening to a documentary; 'Coldplay Live 2012' as I write. 'Viva la Vida' has just started, I just want to get up and dance or run. I've headed for my regular Starbucks every morning while I've been off and the soundtrack they've played all week has 'Kiss Me' playing right at the beginning. Makes me smile, and sing along each time. Thank God for music.
God the Coldplay 'wrist band' thing on the documentary has now made me well up. I am a lost cause.
And now 'Fix You' which I remember playing in the car, with you, on the way home from Sue's Hen Night. I'm gone.
Love you x
I can't tell you how happy it made me to hear your voice, (even though the line wasn't great,) and to talk to you, I know you moved years ago but I still miss you so much.
Anyway, not that I wasn't happy to hear from you or that I don't miss you horribly, but I'm additionally, so emotional at the moment and I have no idea why. I thought I was ready for a break and just overtired but after a week off work, my first break since Christmas, I'm slightly less tired but still really emotional, about everything, and anything.
Films, TV, music, photographs, adverts, comments, clothing, you name it, everywhere I look, everywhere I am seems to remind me of some of the saddest moments of my life. Things I haven't thought about for years play out in my head like a scene from a film. I can be driving along in the sunshine with only my sunglasses to hide the tears.
I've started jogging again in the hope of lifting my spirits. Nine out of the last ten days, I've jogged (slash) run 2km in 20 minutes, I just need to keep it up when I get back to work. I know that it's hard after an early start, a long day, a two hour drive and more often than not; nausea, to then get home, get changed, lace up the trainers and 'just do it.' The last time I visited my GP, about said tum, conversation moved to my BP meds and she questioned if I was; 'still exercising?' You know that I can't lie. 'I did today! But...' 'I know, your stomach has been bad recently.' The Doctor filled in the blanks and what she said was true but the bigger truth is that I haven't jogged consistently for a while and my, as I like to call her, 'hippy dippy doctor,' is all about the yoga pose to cure a bad back... which she will demonstrate. I am of course affectionately teasing, you know that I'm a big believer in keeping yourself healthy and doing what you can to help yourself and keep yourself well. (Although that hasn't stopped me cursing her in the past when I felt like I was made of iron and fused at every joint and I was in total agony and I just needed drugs... what I got was a pose to try. Time and a place people.)
I've listened to a lot of music while I've been off and isn't it amazing how great music can make you feel? I'm listening to a documentary; 'Coldplay Live 2012' as I write. 'Viva la Vida' has just started, I just want to get up and dance or run. I've headed for my regular Starbucks every morning while I've been off and the soundtrack they've played all week has 'Kiss Me' playing right at the beginning. Makes me smile, and sing along each time. Thank God for music.
God the Coldplay 'wrist band' thing on the documentary has now made me well up. I am a lost cause.
And now 'Fix You' which I remember playing in the car, with you, on the way home from Sue's Hen Night. I'm gone.
Love you x
Sunday, 1 June 2014
Blurred Dreams
Last night, I dreamt that a school friend of mine, was alive and well, her Grandma was there as was her close friend, who was once the girlfriend of my current... friend.
My school friend died of breast cancer, about fifteen years ago. I have no idea why she came to me in my dreams, but you know me Col, I don't believe in coincidences and I am desperately trying to connect the dots. My friend was only here a short while but made a lasting impression and left two, beautiful children in this world. Meeting her daughter last year for the first time, stopped me in my tracks. She is the beautiful, spitting image of her Mother.
I have no idea what message I was supposed to receive, so I'm opting for the obvious, that life is too short.
In the words of Conchita Wurst, my current heroine; "you just get one life you know, and you'd better make it fabulous."
My school friend died of breast cancer, about fifteen years ago. I have no idea why she came to me in my dreams, but you know me Col, I don't believe in coincidences and I am desperately trying to connect the dots. My friend was only here a short while but made a lasting impression and left two, beautiful children in this world. Meeting her daughter last year for the first time, stopped me in my tracks. She is the beautiful, spitting image of her Mother.
I have no idea what message I was supposed to receive, so I'm opting for the obvious, that life is too short.
In the words of Conchita Wurst, my current heroine; "you just get one life you know, and you'd better make it fabulous."
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