If it was a little warmer, I'd say I was Spring cleaning

My usual working week is so driven by doing certain tasks on particular days, that I'm struggling to remember what day it is now that I'm off work, but it must be Tuesday because it's my cousin Jayne's birthday today.  It's cool but the sun is shining and we have a beautiful blue sky.

On Sunday, I head out for my usual coffee and reading ritual, returned home to phone JR for an update and then Bee arrived after church.  We headed off to the cinema to see 'Still Alice'.  I'm so glad that Julianne Moore won an Oscar for her portrayal, it was brilliant and moving.  All of the cast were exceptional, it was almost like watching a play, very... intimate and heartbreaking.

Bee and I had a quick bite to eat after the film then we headed home.

Monday, I headed out for coffee, home to make chicken and vegetable soup then headed off for physio.  It's just over eight weeks since my last session and my neck and back have been niggling since I had to sit awkwardly though a pointless meeting, ten days ago.  When I say sit, I mean lean against a desk, the desk was pointing at 2, the information was at noon.  After an hour and twenty, my neck was bothering me.

My brilliant physio is, well, just brilliant.  I love the way she explains everything to me, I love learning... collagen, muscles, joints, fascinating.

I'm home five minutes from physio when Bee arrives and we head out in the cold and damp, with a little light rain, to walk around Ness.  I love Ness but I carefully steer us around the quickest route in case of sudden downpour.  I have so many layers on, I look at least 2 stone heavier than I am, my jacket zipper is straining from the gillet that lies beneath.

Bee has recovered from her chest infection and is buoyant and joyous.  We are not entirely on the same wavelength but we manage to make each other laugh and while she is oblivious to some important nuances, she checks to make sure that she hasn't missed the non existent ones.  Which means she cares very much.

It's Tuesday and I'm sore but I jog anyway, for twenty minutes.  Vicki reassured me yesterday that it's still good for me and even though I don't feel like it, I do it, and love it.

I head out for coffee then return home to take down curtains, steam clean window sills and grouting, take down more curtains, wash curtains, put up curtains, and then I shred confidential waste.  I'm sore, my already sore back is rebelling.  Think I've overdone it a tad.

Wednesday I wake with a sore throat and a very twingey back.  I decide not to jog this morning but instead, take my time getting ready then head out for coffee. 

I return home to shred some more, (I have years of confi waste to shred,) cleared one area of one of the, 'in need of help' bedrooms, and rearrange the kitchen.  I could quite happily never return to work again.

The Best and the Worst

I've had the best two weeks in work recently, the best in the past sixteen months which, when I think about it, isn't good is it?  That means that for approximately the past 72 weeks, I have been unhappy, doesn't that make you think?  This week was one of the worst.  I feel and have felt for a while, unchallenged, unappreciated, taken advantage of, and mostly invisible, which, for a Leo, well, I think my soul is depressed or at the very least, crushed.

I'm now off work for a week, so far, I have spent most of the 22 hours since I left the office, thinking about how much I can't stand work, apart from the time when I was asleep of course.  I'm going to try to get things in perspective, pray that I'm just hormonal, (they are so handy to blame emotions and unhappiness on.) I need to be the embodiment of calm and serenity when I go back and find a way to not go insane with boredom and unhappiness... more insane.

On the bright side, did I tell you that my darling nephew CJ donated his old and unwanted TV to me?  I am so in love, (I love my nephew of course but I was talking about the TV.)  It's like I was blind and now I can see, everything fits where it should, the picture, the information, it's a whole new world and I'm so grateful, see... lucky.

Hot Me

I'm having a hot hair day.  You understand that these are few and far between, so I am learning to acknowledge and embrace them, who knows how many hot hair day's I have left?

I am also in the midst of a lucky streak at the moment.  For the longest time, I've thought that if I didn't have bad luck, then I wouldn't have any luck at all.  But not recently, it's all changed and I'm starting to think that I'm lucky after all.  What if I'm building to an outstanding lucky crescendo?

It's a bunch of little things and you may think that I sound insane but you probably thought that anyway.  A free coffee, a coffee upgrade, a great parking space, a free jute shopping bag, these are little things but they are not the norm and so I acknowledge and thank my lucky stars for each little upgrade.

I've just watched 'Silver Linings Playbook'  and not only did I love it, but it got me thinking.  I have spent my whole life censoring what I say, censoring what words leave my mouth, for fear of upsetting anyone.

I can only imagine how freeing it would feel to be like 'Tiffany' and just speak from the heart.

February Funk

It's Friday and the last 'official' day of my week off.  I haven't met up with any of my sister's while I've been off but I am planning on meeting one of my great friends tomorrow.

I feel in a melancholy mood this week, an emotional, over eating mood, and I have no idea why. Luckily, I've found consolation in homemade chicken and vegetable soup, I can't get enough of it and it's comforting, even though I say so myself, I think I've perfected my recipe.  I was dreading stepping on the scales but I did earlier and I've gained from Christmas when I'd lost weight due to losing my appetite when I didn't feel well, but I'm still only back to 'normal' and no more, which is a relief.  I'm totally misshapen but not overly, over weight.

I am eyeing up Tony Horton's 10 Minute Trainer infomercial but I haven't succumbed yet.  My problem at the moment is not time, but motivation, maybe I should see if I can get myself to workout for 10 minutes under my own steam first of all.

Incidentally, I always have the informercials on in the morning while I'm not watching TV and just pottering about, having breakfast, sometimes working out.  They are currently advertising the most hideous jean-a-like trousers you've ever see in your life.  They seem to be elasticated, all over, spray-on tight and painted to look like regular jeans.  They were bad enough before I realised (that's what glancing with the sound turned down does for you,) that they are fake jeans and stretchy in all places.

So, as I mentioned, it's Friday night and I'm in the company of the dynamic Diane Keaton and the also-not-so-bad, Mr Jack Nicholson, with a name like Jack, how can you go wrong in life?  (Now is not the time to mention the delightful KR, brilliant and if you got the crush-o-meter out, well... I know that he's been within 50 miles of me, gosh dang it.)

I'm watching 'Something's Gotta Give', one of my favourite films and I'm watching it over the incessant barking from next door's dogs.  Barking aside, I think I want to be "Amanda Barrie", with the brilliance, the career and definitely the beach house.  In my dreams anyway.

With the new, swingy hair and the not looking at myself in the mirror too closely, I missed until today, the bruise on my jaw from having my wisdom tooth out, it's either that or I punched myself in my sleep.  Swelling has gone down but still sore and still bruised, not too noticeable though to the outside world.

Saturday, I have a very long overdue catch up with one of my really good friends.  I selfishly confessed that I was really glad to have her all to myself, it is literally years since we've really talked.  Three hours flew by and we probably could have carried on for another three, quite easily. I've made quite a few new friends and acquaintances in the past  twelve months, but after all we've been through, there is nothing to compare to old friends.

Socket to 'em

Didn't sleep well last night.  Just discovered that I lean towards sleeping on the left  hand side of my face, the side I had the wisdom tooth removed from.  No bleeding since I left the dentist, avoiding 'socket' like advised, jaw just achy, and I feel a bit drained.

I went elsewhere this morning, day two of my week off and I needed to purchase a few bits and bobs ready for Harry's return.  I kicked off the expedition with a skinny flat white, at Costa, in the brilliant and warm sunshine.  I had to squint a little, it was joyous, the first warmth felt from the sun, of the new year, pure bliss.  It's still just 2 degrees but that sun made me forget all about it.

Still love the hair, still swingy, still not sure I'll keep it, also noticed as the day progresses, that it expands.  I do feel like a different person though, I feel incognito, it's kind of exciting.

Having said that, bumped into eldest sister in supermarket later on, she didn't even notice the do, maybe it's not that different after all.

Day two of jogging.  I did a gentle 15 minutes this morning, I really have missed my jogging music.  I realise now that it really doesn't do that much for me, workout wise, but I enjoy it and it lifts my mood, so I think I'll keep it for a while.

I feel better generally.  The nights are drawing out, we are heading towards Spring, and I feel renewed and excited for the coming year.  What's on the agenda?  Who knows.  Which is kind of the exciting part.  I'm hopeful for every area but expect nothing, which is what makes it exciting don't you think?

For the past two days, I can't stop staring at the beautiful pale blue sky.  I've decided I love this time of year, I think I may need to book the same time off, next year.

I'm in Hot Water

My lovely friend Sue volunteered her lovely husband Harry to do some small electrical jobs around here for me.  I've been without hot water for about 18 months now, my shower is electric so that was as hot as I wanted, when I washed up, I boiled the kettle, it was like camping, permanently.  In the end, the jobs piled up and I was so fed up of not having hot water, I couldn't take it anymore.  I phoned a local plumber/electrician before Christmas and when he failed to come back to me, Sue very kindly volunteered the very talented Harry.

90 minutes later and I'm staring, in amazement, at the steam, lifting from the water pouring out of the hot tap and into a bowl of soapy water, it's astounding what we take for granted.

So Saturday, the first day of my week off from work, begins beautifully with a workout, a coffee and then hot water, what more could a girl ask for?

Sunday, I'm sore and stiff from my workout, I should have pushed myself to workout again but I didn't, Sunday being the day of rest and all, I chickened out and took the easy option instead, of a slight sleep in and a leisurely breakfast before heading out for my usual coffee date.

It was so great to chat to you on Sunday night, it's always a treat, still miss you so much.

Monday and I rise and jog for just ten minutes but it felt so great.  I know that it's not the best exercise in the world but I really love it and it's been so long, I just knew I would feel better if I dipped my toe into my runners.  With some of my favourite running music emanating out of my iPod, ten minutes whizzed by. 

After coffee, I head for the hairdressers.  I have, too much unruly hair, I can't style it, it's too long and too wide.  I arrive with pictures of the gorgeous and stylish Olivia Palermo, I'm thinking I'd like to try for a long, blunt bob, give it a go and see how I do with it.  My young hairdresser no doubt knows her stuff but she's not great at giving me direction.  I roll up and tell her I really don't know what to do, but what about this, or this?  I don't really get an answer and we settle on a shoulder length bob.  Trouble is, my hair, having a kink or a frizz going on, however you cut it, in reality, it's going to shoot up at least an inch.

I went for Olivia, I ended up with a Dawn O'Porter or an unruly Anna Wintour, (I know, impossible to imagine.)  I love it.  I feel fresh, and swingy.  I don't know if I'll keep it, I need to live with it for a while, but for now at least... I do love it, it's the first totally new style I've had for years.

I have a hearty lunch and before I know it, I'm heading for my dentist appointment to have one of my wisdom teeth out.  I know that it'll be fine but I've been cold all day and had a headache for most of it.  I'm in and out in 40 minutes, I do, as usual, shake like a leaf.  I get to see the tooth and it's ugly, filled and decayed.  Do I want it?  No thank you.  It's being donated to student dentists to practice filling.

It's Monday night and I feel drained and exhausted.  I'll be fine in the morning but for now, it's a large glass of wine and an early night, swiftly followed by a salt water mouth wash in morn.

Jillian Michaels

This week, I went to Jillian Michaels Maximise Your Life tour.  I booked the tickets weeks ago, saw the advert ages ago, tried to recruit at least one of two sisters, failed and thought, stuff it, I'm going to the theatre anyway.  I booked half a day off work, headed home, did a food shop, showered, blasted head dry, had lunch, set sat nav and headed off into the unknown.

So I take my seat and I'm sandwiched between a multi-generational couple, (not a problem with that,) the problem I did have was that from the moment the couple sat down, the female, sitting next to me, whipped out her iPad to scroll through pictures... of herself.... for twenty five minutes.  Do this couple talk?  Ever?  Dozens and dozens of pictures of her, whizzed around like a demented slot machine.  To the right of me were two sisters, we got chatting briefly, one sister had come to support the other, nice work sister.

I was interested to hear what Jillian Michaels had to say.  On 'The Biggest Loser', she came across like a bit of a demon, a demon that melts fat but still.... a screamer.  Then there are the sidebars, someone has a meltdown, a particular meltdown and they have this one to one were St Jillian speaks softly and calmly identifies the problem.

So, I didn't know what to expect, I didn't care, I was just interested to listen.  Jillian Michaels is a dream.  She's normal, she is incredibly funny, she's passionate, down to earth.  She made the effort too.  We're still predominately imperial here and she made the effort to use the language that we understand, (not that we can't convert,) but she used stones and half a stones instead of lbs.  She also used 'crisps' instead of  'chips'.  To me, this means, someone cares about going that extra mile.

Jillian splits her talk into three sections, she covers diet and exercise and then moves on to 'self'.  I love anything that makes me stop and think.  Jillian mentions that we can so easily sleep walk through life, and that is me, for sure.

There was a lot of information to take in and I should really have been talking notes but I didn't want to miss anything by diverting my eyes.

130 minutes later and it was time to head home, I got the feeling that JM could have talked for another 130 minutes however, the show was over and I ran back to the car to get ahead of the queue to get out, it was already well past my bedtime and I still had one more day in work to go.

Did I learn anything?  I did, I learned some things about diet, (I thought I knew quite a bit,) a lot about exercise, I laughed a lot and then I learned to engage my brain and think about me.

I think I'll be on a voyage of discovery until the day I die, and even then, I still won't have truly got to know myself.

I haven't worked out seriously for weeks now but I find myself inspired by Jillian and I have to say, intrigued.  A few days later, I attempt level one of 'shred it with weights', one of Jillian's workouts.  I loved it, I know I didn't give it 100% but I kept it at a level that I knew I could manage, without injuring myself, and I was still 'sore' the next day.  I liked this workout because just when you're starting to think, 'I can't do this for much longer', she changes the move and you start again, 25 minutes flew by.  I also love the idea that I can increase my effort and increase the weight of kettlebell I use as I gain strength.

My mojo is still on the fritz, but I'm working on it.